Friday, December 21, 2012

Jade Elizabeth Sledd

Well it seems like every post these days has to do with welcoming a new family member.  We now welcome Jade Elizabeth Sledd into this crazy world.  She is a beautiful young lady taking advantage of her parents best looking parts. Which if she is as smart as she is pretty she will do in all things in her life.  She has come into a heavenly family situation.  I am blessed to know both sets of grandparents in Jade’s situation, as well as her parents.

First the parents.  The mother an angel, beautiful, caring energetic and full of life.  She has a smile that lights up any room she entries. She will be a grand Mother.  Her father, handsome, fit hard working and loving to a fault.  I can remember when my Mother was a live Jades father would come into the room and rush over and give my mother a hug and tell her how glad it was to see her.  He had no idea what an impact he had on her.  She grew to love all of my Memphis family but Jades dad was special in my mother’s eyes and in mine for his kindness to my Mother.  

Her Grandparents; first on the Mothers side.  I have known them for many years as they run a very successful restaurant operation in our home town.  Both hard working and just plain fun people.  The Grandfather a man whom I don’t think I have ever seen without a broad smile on his face and a welcoming heart.  The Grandmother, like her daughter beautiful and strong.  You just know she has purpose and a cause. She has had a few health issues but has taken them on and come out on the other side still full of life and love.  When other I know have let the sickness rule them she has always ruled the illness.

The Fathers side Grandparents; this is my adopted sister and her husband.  Enough has been written here to fill a book about how I feel about these people.  A more unconditional loving family I have never been around.   And that is the part I point out, the family loves unconditionally not just one person in it.  This comes from the strong example set forth by the mother and father. 

Jade my dear what a blessing for you.  To be born into your situation is a dream for us all.  More people to love and support you than most get in a life time and you get it from day one.  As I told your cousin please pay attention to your family.  They will always be there for you.  When you are having troubles you have a group of Aunts and Uncles like none other.  They will cover your mistakes go to bat for you whenever you mess up and take blame when it is really maybe your fault.  What a group. You will be able to live your entire life working with a net.  You will fall, we all do, and you my angel will always land in the arms of a loving family member.  This alone is a blessing few get in life.

As we look at you in that tiny little blanket those gorgeous eyes looking so alert and engaging we can only pray you follow the examples set by those around you. 

So welcome to life my precious one.  And always remember if you ever need some advice outside your family or start to think they are out of touch.  There is an old grayed haired guy in the corner who loves you madly as well.  He, like you has been blessed to be a part of all of this and understands how special everyone here is.  Yep that would be the Old Blessed Man.

Live well my angel, knowing you are loved by all.


The Blessed Man

Friday, November 30, 2012

Welcome Eden Gail Savanna

Well guess who has a sister?  Yep, young master Jax Ellis.  I saw her for the first time yesterday and thought what an adorable child.  You know we never really look good in those first pictures.  Well this baby did.  Then my adopted sister, her DeDe, sent me a picture today, one day later, and this baby is beautiful.  I sound like a proud adopted Uncle huh?  Well I am.

As you contemplate her future what comes to mind?  Well the first thing to my mind is her wonderful parents.  These two have taken young Jax and taught him to talk, recognize colors, dinosaurs, birds, people, parts of his body and numerous other things.  You say “My grand kid can do that too and was doing it before this kid!” NOPE he does it in Spanish and English!  Suddenly your hand has come down and your jaw has dropped! So she has that going for her.  She has her DeDe and Poppie as well.  As you know these two are unreal.  In my life I have never seen a couple more committed to their children and now their children’s, children.  She has 3 uncles and 2 aunts that are so ready to get their hands on this baby that they are almost fighting for first in line.  She has another thing as well; she has so much love following her that there is no way this child will every fall.  And lastly but certainly not least she will have a cousin that is one week younger than her, Jade, more on her next week.  I can remember when I was a younger man my cousins were my rock.  They were the ones with whom I discovered life.  We taught each other how to cuss, smoke, fish, hunt, drive, chase girls and everything in-between.  I could fill these pages with stories about my cousins and I.

So Eden Gail Savanna, welcome angel.  I will give the same advice I gave your brother.  Watch your family, emulate them. Learn from them.  Treasure them.  You have been blessed to be born into a very special group of people.  They will always have your back and will always love you.  This, my dearest one is life’s greatest blessing, family.  And that’s coming from a person who knows a lot about blessings.  You see I have been with them for over 15 years and they treat me like that, the most special thing; you are that.  
Please live that every day.  I Love you my dear.


Your Adopted, whether you like it or not, Uncle

The Blessed Man

Monday, November 26, 2012

Forgotten / Ego

I have never considered myself to have an ego problem.  I always try to accommodate others needs before my own.  I have been a team player my entire life.  I simply didn’t even fathom I could have an ego problem.  Well maybe I do!

You see for the last 15 years I lead the best sale team in Memphis.  We made all goals except for the last quarter of one year.  We were tight we worked together on all projects for the good of the team.  I was proud to call myself a member.  Well I have left the safety of my team.

Thanksgiving is time of reflection and thankfulness, for me anyway.  I was sitting in my office one afternoon the week of Thanksgiving and decided I would write my old team and simply say happy thanksgiving I miss y’all.  I wrote a very heartfelt letter and sent it.  I got one response 3 days later.  Needless to say I was crushed.  I felt like I would get a response from every member returning my heartfelt thanksgiving wish at the very least.  I got zero.  At first I was hurt, then angry, then after a little reflection thought about my dad.

You see he was my greatest grounder if that’s a saying.  I was a fair football player during my younger years and there were times I thought I was better than others.  He always seemed to know exactly what to say to get me to realize I really wasn’t.  I know where the thoughts of greatness came from, they came from my coach.  He wanted everyone to feel like they were the best walking.  But now as I look back I know he only meant on the field.  Once you get off of the field you remember you are just another person trying to make it in life.  Well it seems like I got off the field, Memphis, but forgot to reenter life.  I remember one time when I was at the airport once again I was thinking I was special at my job and my boss at the time and I were talking; and after a small rant about all of my extremely good qualities, I stopped.  He took a drag off his cigarette and looked me dead in the eyes.  He said” What do you think I pay you to do?” I was stunned.  He was exactly correct.  Everything I was telling him about my talents was part of my everyday responsibilities.  He finished by saying if you left tomorrow in 3 weeks no one would remember you.  I was wounded.  My Dad had always been a little kinder in his returning me to mortality. 

However, at the end of the day he was correct.  In our everyday lives we are only living in our small world.  If you are in it, then you matter.  If you move out, then you don’t; hard but true fact of life.  Think about your experiences?  Been there done that or maybe you are not as needy as I am for maintaining relationships.  Maybe there is my down fall.  I wanted to keep being a part of the team.  I wanted to know they were alright and making their numbers and keeping our accounts as happy as they were when I was there.  Ego?  I think maybe.  Shocked, yes.

So maybe it is true.  Out of sight out of mind?  Man I hope not.  I can’t imagine going back to Memphis and the family not really caring if we got together or not!  Man that would leave a mark for sure.  My adopted sister not having time to be with me that would be like losing a real sister. I would simply die.  

I guess in the end we all want to know we made a difference in the way the team played.  We all want to be a part or the part that makes the team a winner.  We all need to be recognized as important.  Maybe a little ego is a good thing.  I know this for sure.  I have left two very successful teams in my work life.  I also know this more important thing.  They are both still in the game.  I was not that big a deal.  Maybe I was important at the moment; I will keep thinking I was.  However, in the big picture both teams are still trucking playing the game we used to play without my help.  And now as I write this I am happy.  Would it have been great to hear from every member that they missed me and wished I were there?  Yes.  Would I have returned? No.  They know this, so I am out of sight out of mind.  They know the team is more important than any one player they have moved on and are showing me they have and letting me know I should too.  Like someone once said “There is no I in team”

Well guess I better get about the business of getting my new team together.  This should be a blast.

Thanks for listening


The Blessed Man

Thursday, November 22, 2012


Well it’s that time of year when we all get together eat like we are not ever going to get sick.  Watch football and drink the best wine we have.  Oh yeah and remember the things we are thankful for.  The wife and I were talking the other day and we have decided this is our favorite holiday because it has not commercially been ruined.  Yes the turkeys go on sale and the whole black Friday thing but other than that it is still about being thankful for what we have.

As I start my list this year the first thing I am thankful for is my lovely wife.  She has been my strength and power for the last 3 or 4 months.  There has been a lot of change in our lives and she hasn't even flinched and I know inside sometimes she has.  But I have never seen her sweat.  A blessing beyond all recognition she has been to me.

I am also thankful for my new home.  My new friends we have made and the new life we have begun.  We have met some of the nicest people here and they are all becoming my new found family. 

I am thankful that my son.  He seems to have finally found someone who he trusts and loves.  He has started working and shows tell tell signs of becoming the man I knew was inside of him.  I feel like now I was the reason it hasn't reared its head until now.  But he seems to be coming along just fine without me there to rescue him from every hang nail he has.  I am proud of his growth.

However, there is a touch of sadness among all of the thankfulness.  You see this is the first holiday I will not be a part of the Memphis family Thanksgiving in about 12 years.  I will not be there cooking and messing with my adopted sister and enjoying with my Memphis family.  They will all gather tonight and sit and enjoy great food, great wine and great company.  I will truly miss each and every one of them.  I hope they all know I will be thinking of them today and still thankful they are a part of my life even from a great distant.  I am blessed to have two of them here with us for the holiday.  So that will dampen the blow a great deal.  After all of these years I still need my family around to make it Thanksgiving. I will still be missing my adopted Sister and her wonderful husband.   It was my Mother’s favorite time of year.  If you have read the other Thanksgiving posts you know all of the stories.  They will all reappear to me late today as I taste my first bite of Succotash.  Miss you Mother.

Well the old Blessed man has a lot to be thankful for today.  Friends and Family always will top my list.  And once again I will be surrounded by them all day today. 

May you be as well.


The Blessed Man

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


If you are a regular reader of the blessed man then you understand I haven’t posted anything in months.  Well I am living a dream here and have been especially busy for the last 2 months.  You see there are times when the good lord sends you a boat and you ether jump in or let it pass.  Well with the full support of my lovely wife I jumped in.  I left my wonderful job, moved to paradise, took a brand new job all in the last 2 months.  I can hear you from here, you left your Memphis family!!!!  Well kinda.  You see my adopted sister and her wonderful husband happened to be in paradise with us for the last 2 months.

They were here and it really eased the blow of the move and to support during the acclamation to our new home and surrounding.  What fun we have had, playing pickleball, golf, shuffleboard, domino’s, eating, drinking, dancing, riding around in our golf carts, and just living “The Village’s Lifestyle”.  Don’t get me wrong I played in between the work and had a blast doing it. 

Well they have gone.

I can’t imagine the hole that awaits us when we return home.  You never understand how much you depend on your family until they are gone.  Did we spend every waking minute together? No, we didn't in Memphis either.  However, I knew they were right there.  Well now they are not, and I already miss them.  

They have been called home for the births of the new newest members of the family. Baby E who will have my main man Jax Ellis as a big brother who will watch over her for the rest of her life as well as parents like the ones they were raised by to love her forever and keep her safe and warm.  Then one week later little Jade enters the world.  And what an entrance it will be, welcomed by parents that have waited for this for a while, strong and loving, great providers, and caring and loving as all great parents should be.  But what else would you expect coming from two of the most loving families I have ever been associated with.  My Memphis family and the mother’s family who I have incorporated into mine so now we are just one big happy family! So I can allow my sister to go to the births, I totally get that.

Now I am not crawling into a hole here the blessed man is better than that, but I am talking about missing my extended family.  When you have lived around people who show you unconditional love for over 15years and suddenly that’s gone there is a void.  We will continue on meeting people and having fun.  I will simply miss my sister and her husband.  Will they return? Of course.  They have made plans to be here 6 moths next year. 

Is that soon enough? NO. 

Is that selfish? Yes

Do I care? NO

So I guess my advice today is if you have family, friends, whomever that means the world to you.  Tell them.  Hug them tell them you love them. Just like I did when I left them last Sunday night. They know how I feel. Yours should know how you feel. It’s important.

Well guess I’m glad I am out of town for a few days.  Maybe that will make the return a little easier than a cold turkey stop.

Well DeeDee and Poppie you know I love you both.  Please come back soon.  There are people in paradise that love you too.


The Blessed Man

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Breakfast one of, if not, my favorite meal of the day.  Whether you are a bacon and eggs person, or a cereal and toast person it’s how you start the day.  Somehow it sets the tone for your attitude for the next 4 or 5 hours until lunch.   I can remember those specials night when it was just my Mother and I for dinner the sister were out somewhere and Dad was working.  She would look over at me and say “let’s have a breakfast dinner.”  Nothing was more special than to have bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy for dinner are you kidding me?  Knowing full well you were going to get to eat it again when you woke up.  Now that’s living my friend!!

Well I say all of that to tell you of my most recent breakfast memory I have made.  I have spoken here numerous times about my adopted sister’s daughter who has married one of the finest young men I have seen in a long time.  There was the post about the way he treats not only his wife but his Mother.  A finer young man I would challenge you to find.  Anyway back to my story
We were at dinner the other night and he asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast with him and his wife the next morning.  I said sure.  Well this isn’t your run of the mill breakfast, oh no sir!  This was a go out to a local air field.  Get into a Cessna 182 fly to Oxford Mississippi eat at the local legendary breakfast place, Big Bad Breakfast.  Be taken on a private tour of the Ole Miss Campus.  Back to the airport flown back home and all before 11am!!

Talk about special, man!!!!  I have a love for airplanes few know.  I worked around them for over 25years.  There is a saying in the airline biz.” Once you have worked around planes you have Jet fuel in your veins” Well this episode let me know mine is still alive and well.  The coolest part about the entire thing is I got to ride in the right seat.  That means I was wearing a head set, listening to all of the radio traffic and simply had the best seat in the house.   As we flew down we talked about the scenery it was slightly over cast but a wonderful day to fly.  All the way down and back I am like a kid in a candy store looking for things on the ground I recognized.  Simply taking in all of the beauty of flight and the peacefulness that being up there gives you, if that’s your thing and I promise it’s mine. 

As we were flying back I was taken back to thoughts of my Mother.  I can remember one day she said to me let’s go eat lunch.  I said sure let’s go.  We proceeded out to the airport, got on an airplane, flew to San Francisco, and had lunch at fisherman wharf!  My Dad worked at America Airlines for almost 40 years so we could fly for free if there was a seat.  And back in those days there were always seats.  So we went to the west coast for lunch.  As I sat there looking out that window I somehow knew Mother was watching that airplane as we were flying home and loving the fact that all these years later I am still up for a good meal no matter where I had to go to enjoy it.  May we all have the chance to do something this special what a blessing.

Well once again I find that no one is really more blessed than me.  Think about it.  In my life I have done something twice most people never get to do even once.  I have gotten on an airplane flew to some wonderful place.  Eaten, got back on an airplane and flew home.  Talk about lifestyles of the rich and famous. The ole bless man has lived it, twice. 

Well thanks to my pilot and his understand wife, she sat in the backseat and allowed this old man to have the best seat in the house.  A seat I know is hers and will remain hers for many years.  You have made the Blessed Man a happy one.  This trip is a memory I will cherish forever.  I will never forget that feeling as we were leaving the ground on the way down there.  I have taken off a thousand times but there is something about, for the lack of a better term, being in the driver seat that makes it a totally different feeling.

Why am I humming Rhapsody in Blue? Only a few will get that one so I embedded the link.  You will get it the second you hear the first note, I hope!!!!


The Blessed Man

Sunday, August 5, 2012


You might be asking “What does the blessed man know about girls?”  Well I grew up in a 900 square foot house with 4 of them!!  That’s right and oh and I forgot to mention it had one bathroom.  Yepper’s me my dad and 4 girls, 3 sisters and a mother.  I can remember it like it was yesterday, I was maybe 5 years old my Dad calls me over to his chair and told me we always had to have each other’s back.  I, of course, told him always why did he say that?  He told me if we didn’t they, “the girls”, would separate us and kill us!!! So funny.  To this day I still laugh out loud whenever I think about that conversation. 

Well there is about to be another invasion of girls.  My Memphis family is about to add 2 to the family.  And the really cool thing is they are going to be about a week apart in age.  I can remember I had a cousin that was about a month older than me and we were always very close I think the age had a lot to do with it myself. 

Well of course the big story for me is PoP PoP.  When the reveal was done the other  night he was a biggest smile there.  He has one little girl already and she is the apple of his eye.  And speaking of that little girl I should say young woman she is graduating Nursing school a week after all the babies are born.  Girls Girls Girls.  All pretty and smart.  How blessed we are as a family to be adding two more wonderful children to this already love drenched family.  One will be in Atlanta and the other here.  Well I can tell you the one here will not walk until she goes to school because one of her grandparents will always have her in their arms.

As I sit here thinking about family and little girls I have often wondered what it must be like to have a little girl.  I know I would sit by jealously watch my sisters interact with my Dad.  He was always somehow a little gentler, a little more forgiving, a little more patience and loving with his girls.  He loved me I am sure but I always had a higher standard and was always expected to watch after the girls.  I remember the night we found out he had cancer he told me I was now to take care of the girls.  He did love his girls.

As we enter into the girl portion of this phase of life how blessed I will be to watch someone I love dearly have a dream come true he has said for years.  He wanted a little girl.  Well my brother you have two coming.  I can see them now.  Standing in his kitchen both holding their little arms up smiling and saying PoP PoP can we have-----?  And him smiling and saying of course you can my angels.  Give me chills just thinking about it.  You know sometimes it is better to see someone get something than to get something you want yourself.  This is one of those times.  I am so happy and proud of DeeDee and PoPop no one wanted grandchildren more than them and be able to watch this is a special moment for me.

With all of the changes going on in my life the old adage "the more things change the more they remain the same" is very fitting.  I guess it will always be about the girls.  I know I love everyone of them that is in my life; from my angel of a wife, to my adopted sister to my real one which I never see enough.  So, all those years ago my dad had it right you got to take care of the girls.  Well Pop Pop if you ever need help taking care of your girls I stand ready and willing.


The Blessed Man

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Don’t you hate it when you lose something? Especially when that something is important to you. Like your car keys that you knew were just in your hand or you put in your purse just as you got out of the car? I know I do. I often lose things thankfully, rarely, are they important.

However, this time I have lost something that I always thought was important. You see I have truly lost my son.

I was talking the other day to someone who knows more about things than me and we were talking about mine and my son’s relationship. It has never been anything but dysfunctional at best. He and I both hard headed about the things we both believe. As I sat there talking to this person the conversation didn’t last long about my son and I it turned to a place that I never expected. It turned to what is a relationship? What a great question. Think about that for a minute what is a relationship? It is a give and take interaction between two people who are willing to try to have some common ground so they can deepen their feeling for each other on. Very basis I guess but my definition not Webster’s there.

So as I reflect on my relationship with my son I suddenly realize that he is not in a relationship I am. I try to do all of the things a father does, support, advice, comfort, love, care and guide. So I am in a relationship with him. He with me not so much, all he does is call only when he is in a crisis and he must have help getting out of this crisis. So as we look at it he gives nothing but, trouble, heartache, problems, issues, and upheaval. While none of this is in anyway a pleasant feeling for me. He has never put one piece of emotion into our relationship to try to make me feel better about him or anything about him. He simply walks into a room and very routinely and quite purposely stresses me to the max. He is not happy unless I am unhappy. His total goal in life, I believe, is to make mine miserable. And he is very good at making sure he accomplishes his goal. So if we take my definition he gives nothing of value to build anything of value on. You can’t build anything on stress, madness, frustration, and the feeling of being taken advantage of. At least I can’t.

Now before I hear all of the young people supporters out there. You need to give him a chance. He is just trying to find himself. He is a good kid at heart. He will be fine one day. Ok that’s cool with me not sweat he might but if we continue at this pace I will not be here to see any of the miracle of the turnaround of my son. You see I will be dead. My blood pressure is skyrocketing. My health is fading and I contribute most of it to him and a small amount to my job. The job piece I can fix. Money isn’t everything you leave your job for a less stressful one problem solved. And I am actively seeking a solution to the job stresses.

So how do you just leave your Son? What a question. How many Fathers out there have this issue? Well since I have been on my quest to try to find an answer to this important question I have found a few. I spoke with a friend recently. Who years ago came to the place where I am today. You have to cut the ties and save yourself. Is it right? Who knows he seems to have survived as have his sons. Are they close? I think they would say yes. Do they speak on occasion? He tells me they have learned to control their on environment and are making head way in this journey called life. How is he? Marked from the experience, you can see it in his eyes whenever he talks about it. But he wears the mark like a badge of courage. He was willing, and able, to server ties. Cut them off let them sink. How hard was that I asked? He said it was the hardest thing he has ever done. I asked harder than the pain and suffering of the relationship prior to that point? He said yes! Wow what a thing to look forward to. However, for the sake of my son and his ability to make a life for himself and possibly a partner he needs this hard life lesson.

So I will have friends and people I love dearly tell me I am crazy and this is wrong. They might be right but I know I can’t go on like this another day.

The sound of your child’s voice should never bring instant and deep feels of dread. The sight of them should never make you crazy. Their presents in a room should never make you nervous or uncomfortable. If any of those things happen then you are not in a healthy functioning relationship with that person. This is how I feel whenever my son and I interact. Not good.

So I guess this is one time that the old blessed man isn’t so blessed. Or maybe I am. Maybe, just maybe when this is all over I will have a relationship with someone I have loved forever. Maybe the bible story is true and the prodigal son will return home humbled and gracious and understanding of all of the things he once had. I can promise one thing for sure. If I ever see him coming over the hill I will run to meet him and yes we will have one hell of a party, for his return.

I guess once a daddy always a daddy.

Wish me luck!


The Blessed Man

Monday, June 18, 2012

Father's Day

Well yesterday is one of my toughest days of the year.  You see, if you read any of these musings, you know I struggle desperately with my role as a father.  I truly think I have failed my son as a Father.

My Father, we have talked about him for ages here.  A great man, a provider, caregiver, lover of my Mother, and stable home we always had. But let’s talk father.  We didn’t do much together as he was always working so my Mother could stay at home with us.  Most of my memories of my Father are him sitting at the kitchen table feet on the washing machine smoking and talking to my mother.  His other favorite place, sitting in his chair in his underwear watching T.V., always tired, always planning his next trip to work.  I can remember he took me to play golf a couple of times, fishing a few others.  When I turned 18 he took me with him to watch him play in his band that was probably my coolest memory of him.  Were we close, I have always thought we were.  What did he teach me about being a Father?  You take care of your kids and try to make them into adults.  You try to make sure when you are gone they can make it without you around.  I can remember him telling me it was his job to make sure he left the world with a man not a burden.  I think he did his job.  What about other father’s I know?

What about my friend’s fathers?  Well they are all gone now but my memory is that they were just like my dad.  Always working and always trying to make us into adults.  My two closest friends and I were really raised by three sets of parents. The funny thing was the rules were basically the same at all three houses.  I think we have all turned out to be good adults. We all have kids and they are all completely different from each other.  I have seen and known several men I thought were good Fathers.  My adopted sister’s husband comes to mind as well.  Four children each what many call “perfect kids”.  I am blessed to be very close to the family so I know they are not all perfect.  Now they are as close as any I have every encountered but perfect, now well behaved and adjusted?  Amen, an in spades. 

So where did I take a wrong turn at the Cirlce K?   Where did I lose the ability to parent or make a difference, or influence my son’s life?  I have a young man who absolutely refuses to listen to one piece of advice I offer.  Who looks for my core values and then mocks them as if they were the stupidest things a human being could believe.  Not only is that, but then tries to ague that they are not believeable and that anyone who believes like I do is a moron.  His words!!  We never talk.  We only scream at each other.  He walks into a room and my blood pressure rises at least 20 points.  The last time we were together I had to call a doctor afterwards because I thought I was having a heart attack.  This cannot be normal.   I know it’s not because I see other families who love each other and can’t wait to get together and share family time.  The only time I hear from my son is when he is in need.  He has never called me once time to say hey dad what’s up.  Now all of the conversations start out that way but then there is the, hey I need a favor or I got to have this or that.  When I tell him all he wants is money or work done on his car or anything else then he hits me with its all about the money or all about the material things to me. Well I guess so because from my view that’s all our relationship is him needing, me providing.  I guess my father providing I got but he would have never provided for me if all I ever did was piss him off I can promise. 

I can’t blame my inability to be a Dad on my son.  He tells me all the time I don’t know him.  How can you get to know someone who assaults you at every turn?  Who takes everything you believe in and makes fun of it.  A young man who anytime you open your month to try to get to know him turns the conversation into some kind of twisted psycho analysis of your thoughts and how you are simple minded and need help.  Is this a person anyone wants to know?  I think not.  

So we have another Father Day behind us.  I missed my Dad yesterday.  I was trying to remember did I honor him enough when he was here?  Did I always thank him for his sacrifices during my formative years, the years he worked all of those jobs so we could be home with my Mom.  All of those late night and sleepless days he kept up the pace so we could have what we needed.  As I sit here now I know I didn’t do enough.  I surely hope that he knows I meant too.  I should have hugged him more; I should have told him I loved him more.  Even if he didn’t tell me back.  I should have taken him to lunch more when I had the chance.  Man I miss him. 

Maybe my son is my Karma, for not doing all of those things for a man who sacrificed so much for me?  If so, then as they say Karma is a bitch!!  My son and I will never be close because neither of us is willing to take the others point of view.  I simply can’t compromise my values and give into his unrealistic ramblings as the way it is.  He can’t never see himself as a member of society working and being a part of the solution and not the problem.  My words there, not his.

So I guess Fathers Day will always be a test for me.  I will never be Ward Clever for sure.  And my son will NEVER be the Beav.  Eddie Haskell maybe!!  There will never be the closing scene of the Walton’s at my house either with all of the Goodnight Grandpa’s, Goodnight John Boy.  I will have to simply accept that fatherhood is not that for me.  I will continue my efforts to leave the world a man and not a burden.  Hope all of your Fathers days are happy and loved filled.

Happy Fathers Dad, I miss and Love you very much.


The Blessed Man

Sunday, June 10, 2012


We have all heard the analogies used around the apple.  On bad apple spoils the bunch, an apple a day and numerous others.  Well my favorite for many years has been one my granny used to say about wild children and their parents; “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree”  I have heard it a million times.  Mostly about a few of my wild cousins during our formative years and we were experimenting with shall we say life.  I was blessed to always be smart enough to never be the first to yell “Hey y’all watch this” another great saying from the south!  In case you didn’t know nothing good ever happens once this has been shouted!!

Well I digress.   As you might have read my family is a tad split for the time being.  The wife is in Florida with the kids, read cats, and I am holding down the home front trying to get the house on the market to sell.  Well this leaves me to my own devises and that could be scary.  Well in steps my adopted sister watching me as if I was one of her own “Chickens”, read kids there as well.  I think I have eaten every meal with them since the wife departed.  And they are wonderful times.  How special is it I have two places to call home?  There and Florida. 

Well last night I had the extreme pleasure of having dinner with the youngest child of my adopted family and sister.  And here is where the saying comes into play.  I called and asked her if she had dinner plans.  Her husband, a pilot, is gone some and her, a student in an accelerated nursing program she doesn’t see the light of day often between studying and the brief moments she sees her husband.  Who deserves a complete post of his own a more special young man I haven’t met.  She said no, I said come eat with me.  She seemed excited and we went to dinner.  At a funky kind of place in a midtown area of our city, where all the artsy, earth shoed, laid back people live.

Now this is a special young lady whom I have seen grow up from the age of about 12 I am guessing.  She, like her mother, is a stunning beautiful woman.  However, she is special as she doesn’t have a bit of air about her.  And, like her mother, more beautiful on the inside, caring, thoughtful, concerned, attentive when in conversation, and allowing in every part of her life that I see anyway.  Well as we sat there last night I was totally blown away as we talked.  It had to be like talking to her mother 25 years ago.  Has a plan, knows where she is going and can’t wait for the next chapter.  She graduates in December and will either return to school or work a bit depends on how she feels I am guessing.  As we sat outside on an unusually pretty night here for this time of year I was struck with the saying “The Apple didn’t fall from the tree” and what a precious apple this one is.  I think we all have moments when we wished our children turn out like someone else’s.  You know the kids that seem to be perfect.  Well this child is one of those.  Now I will add a sidebar that I know this child is not perfect.  However, she is close I have been around during times she had troubles like when she wrecked her new car the day she got it!!!  But I still believe it couldn’t have been her fault!!  Yes, I love this child. 

I had a blast and for a brief moment got to be with this wonderful young woman with no one else around.  As I think back I can’t remember ever being granted that pleasure.  I have always loved her but last night was special because I had her full attention.  It was like when I am with her Mother and it’s just us, rare.  It’s like when I am with my wife and it’s just us rarer still.  There is something about one or one conversations with the people you love that are more special than when you are in a group even if the group is family.  I will always treasure last night.  More than likely she just saw it as a dinner with one of her Mom’s friends.  I saw it as dinner with a daughter I could only dream of having.  I promise, like her parents, I would be one proud father!!

This wouldn’t be a complete parent child  post without the mention of my son.  Did that apple fall far from the tree?  A question that is so debatable that it would take years to answer.  Do I love him, of course?  Is he like me?  Not in my mind or the mind of anyone who knows me.  However, I find it so unreal that he claims publicly and loudly to be exactly like I am.  Now anyone who knows him laughs out loud whenever he says it and he seems to almost get mad.  I have no clue what to do about that.  I want to make sure and say I am proud of him.  We disagree on every issue we ever talk about.  We have nothing in common; however, god love him for standing up for what he sees as just and right.  Something sometimes I was never strong enough to do.  So did that apple fall far from the tree, I say he isn’t in my orchard, but he is mine whether thrown over the fence or simply dropped by the gods as a test to me he is mine.

So as I look at the contrast of these 2 very special young people mine the opposite of the one I wish he could be; her, the absolute picture of what we all would want as a daughter.  I wish both of these special young people the best life they can make.  And I only hope my sister knows how special her apple is that fell so close to the trunk it is scary I am so proud for her and the daughter.

Well I think I will go find that picture of my granny and my dad and thank them for everything they did for me during my years.  I can only hope that someone one day will compare me to either of my parents, could there be a high complement given to a person.  I think not.


The Blessed Man

Monday, June 4, 2012


We are cat people. I know that some of you can’t understand that but we are. But not just any cats we have Cornish Rex cats. These are special cats that act more like dogs than cats. They come when you call them and really need to be around people strange as that sounds they are a lot of fun and hypo-allergenic as well. Now I tell you that to start my story.

As most of you know we have been blessed to get a place in The Villages Florida. This has been a wonderful experience and we are finally settling in down there. The house has been totally repainted, thank you adopted sister and company. We have purchased 2 golf carts and are really making the place ours.

Well this past weekend we made a larger commitment to The Villages and we moved the wife and the cats down. Our logic is it is much easier to sell a house that doesn’t have cat boxes in it than one that does. So the wife and the kids have moved leaving me in this huge house all alone. Now I agreed to this whole heartedly and agree with all of the logic. However, when I returned home yesterday and walked in the house it was like our home has no soul anymore. It’s a feeling I have felt one other time. After my Dad died my Mother never spent another moment in the family home. I came back after the funeral and moved my mother up to live with her mother. When I walked into that house the first time after my Dad and Mother were gone it felt the same way. It is strange. The house is full of furniture. Everything is exactly the same however, it’s like the life has been pulled from the home. I sat there last night trying to put the feelings aside but they wouldn’t leave. I am not a nut case; in our married life my wife has traveled for a living. She has taken trips that took her away for more than two weeks many, many times. I never felt like this. Now before we start the pity party all of this is for a very important reason. Once the house sells then I can start thinking about moving down there. So this is a necessary evil as they say. I write this as a simple expression of a set of feeling much like the others I write about on these pages, strange but real to me.

I am in good hands. I have my adopted sister and numerous others who often ask me over for dinner and fun. I have my work that keeps me busy most nights until later than I like. I have the house here in need of many things to get it ready to become someone new dream home. However, for the meantime it’s still my home. Scratch that our home and it needs some work. So I will work on it until my angel returns which I have been promised will be at least every two weeks. I will also head down there whenever possible. So again I am in transition. What a blessing to be moving towards something that you want so badly it almost hurts. I want to be down there so badly I really cannot explain it. This place is special. But we have already talked about that.

How blessed can one man be to have a full understanding of exactly what a loving home feels like? Can you only imagine the people who daily walk into a building they call home? No special feeling, no over whelming feeling of love, no excitement they you have returned from work. I have 2 places I can feel that today, my adopted sister’s house, and my home in the Villages. Sadly there are thousands of people who never know this and I have had that feeling in every house I have ever lived in and a few that I do not.

So I guess I need to start packing. I have an appointment with destiny and I can’t wait to get down south to my new home. I will be totally focused on selling the house I live in now.

Never dreamed I would ever miss those damn cats!!!!!!


The Blessed Man

Monday, May 28, 2012

Thank You Bobbie

If you have read along here you know who Bobbie is, she is my lovely wife’s mother.  And an angel she was if you do not know this simple read a few of the posts about this one of a kind woman who I was proud to call my Mother in law.  I loved her like I loved my mother a sweeter woman has never graced god’s earth.  As you might have read Bobbie left us last September to be in heaven.

We are blessed to be able to ride stand by on a major airline due to my wife’s long and storied career.  So we often take trips to wonderful, places.  Bobbie had a love of coins that is the stuff of legend; she loved and collected them for years.  Well a tradition has grown from this love.  Shortly after Bobbies’ passing we were trying to get on a flight that was extremely over booked.  We only can ride if there is an empty seat and the way it is today that’s very rare so we choose our flights with great care.  But we decided to stand by anyway and see what happened.  As we were going through security my wife looks down and finds a penny.  She picked it up and said this was a sign from Bobbie that we were going to be just fine.  I said great and we headed to the gate.  As we sat there it looked no better.  Suddenly the gate agent called our names and we got 2 seats and they were  together and we were the last two names called.  I was stunned to say the least and the wife looked at me and said Bobbie has once again taken care of us.  Since that happened we have done this a number of times always at the last minute we are boarded and off we go.  I am starting to look for those pennies now!!

Well my wife’s son turned forty last week.  He wanted her to be there in the worst way and she wanted me to go with her.  So understand this is on a Thursday and I have to work on Friday.  So the plan was to go to Minneapolis Thursday afternoon and return at 6am to home for me to work.   We arrive at the airport and as we are going through security the TSA holds out a small bowl and tells my wife you left something in your contents bowl.  Yes Sir it was a penny!!!!  We head to gate full knowing Bobbie is on hand and working hard to get us to the birthday dinner, because Bobbie was a huge influence on my wife’s son.  She watched/raised him while my wife worked evenings at the Atlanta airport years ago when he was a small boy.  So as the flight get closer it fills up.  There is a decision made that if we go to Chicago we can then connect to MSP, from there and all will be good.  So we quickly get the last 2 seat to Chicago and head north.  We are on our way and Bobbie is with us.  We arrived in Chicago the MSP flight was the next gate, thank you Bobbie, we sat there and the flight fills and leaves without us!  What has happened?  We were to be on that flight?  As my wife and her son search for options there are simply not any.  As I sit in the gate sadden because I know how much this means to my wife the decision is made we will return to home through Atlanta.  We will get back home around 11pm but no birthday dinner.  A very sad mother tells her son she loves him and we head to get something to eat.  We find all of the restaurants are over flowing so we get something fast and return to the gate.  Now across the hall there is a MSP flight that had cancelled from the morning there.  The wife has asked if her status as a retired instructor would allow us to ride what is called a ferry back to MSP.  The gentleman behind the gate, a pilot, says he doesn’t think so, so sadly we continued with the retune home plans.   As we sat down to enjoy our fast food we hear from across the hall our names being called.  What we looked at each other and promptly left all of our food and drinks sitting there and ran across the hall.  We were given two First Class boarding passed and escorted onto and empty plane except for 2 flight attendants and one other person.  All in first class and happy as larks!!!!  The wife calls her son.  He answers with the following statement “Mom I was just sitting here wishing you would call me and tell me you were on the plane and heading to eat dinner” much to his surprise she told him we were and would see him shortly!  He simply couldn’t believe it and kept repeating shut your mouth!! But all seemed to forget, save Bobbie, that  this was a very special occasion and one needs to always travel to special occasions in style.  Well a 140 seat airplane empty except for you and 3 others is pretty special.  We arrived took a cab to the dinner spot and had a wonderful evening.  Thank You Bobbie!!!

We returned the next morning it was very uneventful thank goodness.  I think Bobbie knew she had me maxed out the day before.  She did always love to mess with me.

I will never look at a penny the same after this trip…..


The Blessed Man


Well my adopted sister is getting older!!!

She recently turned 58, still as pretty as a picture and even prettier on the inside.  We have seen a lot together in the 10 years or so we have been together.  The marriages of all of her children except one.  The birth of her first Grandbaby which is turning out to be the smartest baby in the world, imagine that, and the announcement of the coming grandbaby two.  And numerous other things I think are special.   

As I was surfing the internet the other day I saw something that really caught my eye.  It was a framed grouping of dates and at the bottom it said what a difference a day makes.  Well this was it.  My wife and I totally agreed this was the only thing we could have gotten her that would stand the test of time.  So we contacted the youngest daughter got all of the dates and I made the date page and the wife framed it.  Which by the way looked like a professional did it very nice!!

As I looked at that piece I realized that the most important date, to me, was missing.  That’s right the date I met her.  I remember it as if it were yesterday.  We were invited to a dinner party at a friend’s house and she was there with sitting next to this guy she called her  “date”!!  We sat across from each other and had a blast.  Then about a week later we were at her “date’s” house for mystery dinner and got to meet her husband, what a guy.  He has turned out to have become one of my closest friends.  If you have read one story on these pages you know what these people mean to me.

Back to the gift; we made the picture.  I had made her oldest son a set of lamps from two large format wine bottles.  We had a wedding shower at our house for them and had everyone who attended sign the bottles.  Then I made the lamps.  Never mind it has been well over a year since they married!!!  Well anyway he shows up to get his lamps and sees the gift.  He stares at it then says this is so cool!!  He says you know she is going to cry!!!  She comes in the door we have the picture where she always goes first and sure enough she didn’t even get all of the way through it and started to cry.  Of course she started taking pictures of it and emailing all of the kids.  The dates we used were the day they married, then the birthday of each child.  She seemed to really like it which is all that matter to the wife and I.  We love these people like no one will ever know.  They are much closer than friends they are in some strange way closer than family.  I think that because family you can’t do anything about, they are there whether you like them, or not.  We have a special relationship because we do not have to be together, we stay together because we love each other.  We have made it through some bad times with my son.  My adopted sister and I do not share the same opinions about him but we still are together.  Simple friends might have not been able to get over a difference like a child but we are closer now because of my trails with him. 
So as I look back on what we all thought was just another dinner party with friends.  It turned into a night that changed the lives of two people forever, those people my wife and I.

So I really do agree
What a difference a day makes
Happy Birthday my dear thank you for sharing your special family and life with us…..


The Blessed Man

The Last

As everyone was enjoying their wonderful Memorial Day holiday weekend in a small local funeral home a passing happened that is landmark to a small group of brothers.  You see my friend Scott lost his mother this weekend.  She was the last of the parents of the three stooges as were so fondly referred to in our youth.  So now all we have is each other. 

Ricky, Scott and I were inseparable during our High School years.  Every weekend we were together and sometimes school nights.  We learned to drive together, learned to drink together, learned to fight together, and learned about girls together.  Well, all we could so to speak.  And our parent took us as each one theirs.  I can remember Scotts Mom and Dad getting on me as if I belonged to them.  We had to live by the same standards in each other’s houses as if we lived there!  I can remember in each place there were rules that were to be adhered to no matter what or who you were.

As I walked in the Funeral home on Saturday and I saw my friend.  He looked up smiled and eyes filled with tears.  You see I haven’t see Scott in over 15 years.  He said as we embraced I was hoping you would be here.  I looked up with tear filled eyes and told him I would be no other place.  We hugged for a while and then he realized we were being unmanly and awkwardly parted. What a special moment for me.  You see Scott was our wild child, after high school he fell into a rough group.  Joined a motorcycle gang and was a rather wild in all parts of his life. I can remember shortly after high school his parents had an annual gathering at their home.  The three stooges had always been included and we were once again.  Ricky and I showed up right on time and were catching everyone up on our doings since the last gathering and here comes Scott rolled up on his Harley dirty blue jeans, tee shirt, leather jacket, long bread and hair.  His Mother told him he had forgotten all of his raising and shouldn’t disrespect them as he was doing.  Scott not saying a word got back on his bike, and rode away.  Only to return in about 30 minutes in a three piece suit that he barley could get into. Vest buttons straining like a dike in Amsterdam, pants barely covering his boots, a shirt that he couldn’t have buttoned around his arm and a tie that is was obvious he had forgotten how to tie years ago.  But he was in the best thing he had.  His mother looked at him and walked over hugging him and kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear.  “I will never do that to you again.  You are my son and I love you just like you are.  Thanks for trying to please your Dad and I.  Don’t ever change”.  What a special moment we all had right then.  Well, that special lady is gone now and the three stooges are without supervision.  What a scary thought. 

As we visited at the funeral home it was like old times we relived many of our most legendary moments from the past.  All of Scott’s children standing agape as the stories seemed to get crazier as we continued.  His son finally looked at us and said y’all were a lot crazier than you ever allowed me to be.  To which Scott replied yep and that’s how it will always be.   We all laughed and enjoyed the time together. 

When the service was over we all made the promise to get together soon and try to stay in touch.  I sure hope we all do that.

I can just see the table in heaven right now.  Googie and Bobbie Faye, Ricky’s parents, Bernie and Roberta, Scotts parents, and Bill and Billie, mine.  Are all there reliving our escaped and laughing at the thought we always thought they never knew. And, I hope being proud of the job they did with all of us.  I know I am proud to say I am one of a few that had 3 sets of parents and didn’t come from a “Broken home” I had an extended home and at every place was loved, corrected, and cared for as if I was born into that family.  Talk about blessed.

God Bless each of you my parents.  And please be with the three stooges as we try to become whatever it is we will become. 

Thanks for the help…


The Blessed Man

Friday, May 18, 2012


You know we all have a mindset about the generations that is either in ahead of us or behind us.  I can remember looking at my granny’s hand and thinking wow they were wrinkled and hard.  They were riddled with arthritis and all knotted.  She never complained always there cooking every meal and cleaning afterwards never a complaint.   Then there was my Father always tired.  Selfless to a fault always giving up anything he wanted or needed to make sure my mother and the children always got wherever the need was at the moment.  So my perception of these generations is one of sacrifice and pain.

Well until last night.  I was out with friends to dinner.  They were driving so we were sitting on the front porch waiting when they pulled up.  We got into the car and exchanged hellos and how are yous the normal stuff you do with friends.  Then as we were leaving our house the driver informed us we had to make a brief stop to roll a joint for his aunt!!!  Now this is no ordinary Aunt.  She is mid 80’s and full of live and spunk.  I have loved this woman for many years.  And she has a terrible time sleeping.  Well about 2 years ago somehow she found the wacky weed and presto she slept.  So now it’s medicinal for her.  She really needs it for her peace.  This is a woman who is a wonderful spade player and a true joy to simply sit and talk to.  She reminds me a lot of my granny.  A soul you can see from the outside a truly compassionate person and a giver of time and advice to all who would be so smart as to listen.  Always dressed to perfection and beautiful, I really enjoy this lady.

So here is a lady from 2 generations from me who is living life every day.  She never looks back only forward.  Living in the moment for simply joys and love.  Makes me wonder what the generation behind me sees.  Do they see a loving caring hard working group?  Or do they see a group of selfish conceited people who only think about themselves.  I think, or at least hope, they do not.  I think the generation behind us is what I described earlier;  as parents we have enabled an entire generation of people to not know what work is to not know what struggle is to not know what broke is because we had those feeling and they were not fun.  So being what we thought was good parents we have now raised a generation of people who do not know what work ethic is and that call their parents every time that they stub their toe’s.  Good bad or ugly it is what it is.  We will all be fine. This generation of kids will find out soon enough that the world is an unfair place.  I will never forget whenever I would whine to my Dad that it was unfair.  He would tell me “The fair is something that’s down on South Parkway where they judge animals and eat cotton candy” it would piss me off to no end. But you know what he was right.  I have been fired, laid off down sized and abused and none of it was fare.  However, ever trouble made me a better man.  So as we wrap up may we all learn from my friends Aunt; Live life, do not be a passerby get involved be a part it’s quite a ride.  I promise!

I suddenly have a craving for some potato chips or cookie’s


The Blessed Man

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Pork Chop

When to a local place last night and had dinner with friends.  This place is the hot place in town right now and they are pig experts for sure.  I ordered the pork chop and was brought out a half of a pig rib section it was huge!  And it was wonderful.  It was so large that I couldn’t finish it.  I took it home and just finished eating it for lunch.  As I ate this wonderful chop it reminded me of my Mother.  She loved a pork chop better than anything I guess.  I can remember us having them for dinner and how she would be whistling while she cooked.  She was happy.  Then the first bite you could literately taste the love ooze out from the meat.  My Dad was so happy when we had them, my Mother was so happy it was quite a memory for me.   

Its Mother Day and what better way for me to remember my mother than by eating her favorite thing in the world.  I miss her so badly.  Anytime she comes up it is strange I am not sadden by her being with my Dad now I am feeling the void of her presentence in my life.  Her constant concern for me her ever present love and deep need to be a part of my life no matter what stage of it I was into at the time.  She had the most amazing ability to always know what I was feeling and thinking.  I can remember one time when I was a small child I fell from something hit my head and was taken to the doctor’s office.  Well this was long before CAT scans and other diagnostic procedures of today.  They had me hooked to some machine I was of course scared.  I was told to lie still so the machine would get a solid reading of my brainwaves or whatever they were measuring at the time.  I can remember my Mother reaching over to the bedside and me holding her hand.  The machine reacted strangely I guess because the doctor asked my Mother to release my hand for 15 seconds or so then hold it again.  She did and the doctor was amazed.  He said whenever she released my hand my brainwaves changed a bit then settled back to the reading prior.  Then when she held my hand it changed briefly and settled by again.  His explanation was when my mother was holding my hand it was like we were one brain activity!  He checked us several times then when in and got his colleague and he tested us.  No one could quite believe the results.  They sent them off to New York City or something like that as I remember nothing really ever came of it.  But I am telling you its hard growing up with a Mother that knows what you are thinking at 16 and 17 years old!  Just remember what you were thinking at that age…

Now skip forward to today.  My Memphis family is about to have another addition!  My claimed sister’s oldest son and his wife are about to become parents.  It will be here in December and no one is more excited than DeeDee and PaPa.  So next year we will have one more mother in the family and one more chosen one to spend time with, how exciting is that.  Can you imagine the joy this child is in for?  You see the in laws live in town as well so this child’s feet will not hit the ground until it walks across the stage to get its high school diploma!!  Spoiled I think so.  The Mothers family is remarkable as well.  Sound and loving, sisters and children everywhere this child is in for a wonderful introduction to family and unconditional love.  Maybe if it is lucky it will have the relationship and special gift I had with my mom.  If so I know Mother and son/daughter will be closer than they can ever imagine.  I can’t explain the feeling I get when I remember being with my Mom it is special beyond words.  I pray for this pair to have that bond. 

Well as I sit here with damp eyes dreaming about go grocery shopping with my mother I will leave you to ponder your Mother.  Special wasn’t she?  Beautiful wasn’t she?  Loving wasn’t she?  If she is still here go kiss her, Call her, Email her reach out to her you will be better for it and she will love it!!!

Can you have Pork chops for lunch and dinner?????


The Blessed Man

Saturday, May 12, 2012

What If ?

Ever thought about what if?  What if I had taken a different path where would I be, and would it be worth losing what I have today.  I had a moment of that today.  Part of the Memphis family had a son graduate today, a fine young man who graduated from a high school where my son attended briefly.  Then he exercised his ability to make his own choices and moved to another state to live with his Mom.  Now this move saved a lot of things.  My sanity first and foremost, possibly my marriage, possibly his life, and a lot of hurt and pain I truly believe.  However sitting there watching the ceremony I couldn’t help but get a huge case of the what if’s. 

This is not a normal high school this is a school, with great regularity turn out bright and successful member of society.  These young men go on to be the leaders of tomorrow.  There are numerous graduates who are major parts of the community today. I know many of them and they are great men.  This is the school where my son learned to fence.  This is the school where it was revealed to me that he is talented as a writer beyond my belief.  This is a school where, what if he had stayed?  Am I willing to give up what and where I am today to see that result?  Now that’s the 64 million dollars question. 

Where I am; nearing the end of a wonderful career, on my way to Florida to slow down and enjoy the rest of my days.  So content with my wife and surroundings that in brief moments of pondering I start to cry.  Knowing that my claimed sister and her wonderful husband are coming there as well.  And others who mean the world to me are planning their arrival as well.  Truly I am at a very happy place.

What about my son?  What if he had stayed?  He had an offer to fence for a world renowned SEC school.  He would have when on and used his god given talents to become what?  Lawyer, Doctor, Writer. And there is where the rub comes.  Could we have weathered that storm that was raging out of control when he left our lives?  Could he have gotten himself under control to become a part of that school and a classmate to his other peers?  Or are we better off with the road traveled?  He has struggled mightily during the years since he left us.  He had many failed attempts and is still to this day experiencing hardship many of his classmates haven’t and hopefully will never.  But who is really the victor here.  My son?  He knows what failure is in the real world.  He knows hunger, pain, being broke, living from hand to month. Suffering the feeling of the world has lined up and the entire populous is out to get you and you alone.  Or is it the Classmates?  They, moving on the college are just now getting to see what the real world has to offer.  Will their education in a classroom trump my son’s school of hard knocks degree?  His father is the valedictorian of his graduating class of the school of hard knocks.  Would I go back and redo my life?  Go to college get a degree maybe miss the friends and loves I have had along this road.  HELL NO!!

Well then I guess I really have my sons answer as well.  I will keep the picture of him at a book signing people lined up around the corner and him and me sitting after the signing drinking a special bottle of wine and reflecting on his success.  I will hold on to the hope that like his dad he will find his way and become larger than life and a huge success.  And I feel like even if he does reach my expectation at least he will meet his and for that I am extremely proud of him.

So to our graduate of today; Good luck son.  Choose your steps wisely because you can’t go back.  Every decision, every choice, makes you who you will become.  And I look forward to seeing the next graduation you take part in, be it from an Ivy league college or the one my son and I are alumni’s of.  One thing for sure the choice is yours.


The Blessed Man

Monday, May 7, 2012


Think of all the meaning there is to this simple word. We can stand by as parents and allow our young children to fall or get into a bit of a scrape. And as for me, we then allow them a chance to get out of that situation and I believe they grow a little every time. We can also allow people into our special places; our hearts our minds. I have allowed my precious wife to totally take away my heart. I have slowing started allowing my son back into my life and am rather enjoying his changes of late. We can allow other to control the way we see things. This is what drives me back to this place. I have been in a rather bad place for a long time.

I have allowed others to steal my Joy, and my vision. I have for years loved and enjoyed sharing my feeling with really no one as no one really reads this. But, I allowed a circumstance to steal this joy from me. There is no doubt that no one will ever want to make a book / movie about the musings of a silly old man. However the simple joy that those musing bring to this simple old man is truly something that is special to him. So whatever you do whoever you are please do not allow anyone or anybody to steal your joy. So let’s agree to start allowing ourselves to be in control of our life’s and thoughts. And let’s also agree that even when we are at our lowest there is a special lesson to be learned from this circumstance. I have learned that I am at a huge transition point in my life. I am about to make some major changes.

I have found my nirvana. Yes, a place that brings me to such happiness that it is a feeling like none I have ever experienced before. The place is a simple place called The Villages. A place, where my claimed sister sits and openly weeps as she watches grandparents dance with their grand children. A place, where you can dance like no one is watching and love like you will never get hurt. This special place is a place where an old man dances around a square where his wife, of no telling how many years, is sitting in a wheelchair and looking lovingly into his eyes like she is 21 again and she is loving every minute. A place where when you try to clear the dance floor by asking how long you have been married it takes 65 years to be the winners. A place where everyone seems to understand that nothing really matters but friends and family. A place where every single person I have ever taken there falls in love with it in a matter of one evening on the square. A place where we have already made numerous friends and have enjoyed their company ever trip we return. My joy has returned!!!!

My post might be calmer now not as much stress, nothing but the joy from this day forward. The mostest bestest thing ever is my claimed sister and her husband have been looking for a place down there. Another couple we love is also looking for their dream place as well. Now if I could get my brother down there I might not ever write here again because I would be crazy busy playing golf, pickleball and just doing all of the things that are there. Last night my angel from heaven above and I when for a golf cart ride at 10:00. We just rode and talked and had a blast. What joy I had. I felt like we just met each other for the first time. I loved her more last night than I ever have. and all because of this place, this feeling, this atmosphere. I want that every day of my life. I am not so naive to think that everyone would love this place. However, this place is for me and my angel from heaven above. I am so blessed!!!

As the title to this blog, that was born years ago, I now totally understand. This is where I was headed for a long time. How blessed I am to have found my place. And then add the blessing that my Memphis family, well some of them, are considering making the move as well. Why would I ever let another steal my joy? So my dear friends, The Blessed man is back and so proud the have come out on the other side of this darkness.

Thanks to my baby girl as well for always being there in my darkest hours and always showing love and caring for this very cloudy and stressed guy. You know who I’m talking about!!! Love you


The Blessed Man