Aging

Well today is the day I no longer have a teenager! That’s correct my son turns 20 today. As I reflect back on the passed 20 years. The first thing I can say is they that have pasted, like posts on a picket fence at 75 M.P.H... I might add that they were not all joyous either. But then there are those moments that steal your breath away. The first time I looked him in the eye and he looked back and seemed, in my mind, to know me. The first time he said Daddy. The first time he left for school, and didn’t cry. The first time he scored on the basketball team. The day he was made an airman in the USAF. Place your on special moment in time in here anywhere.

Then there was the time he was sitting in the doorway and telling me he hated me and there was no doubt he meant it. That is the most hurtful moment in my life to this point and if you read this Blog you know I have lost both my parents, whom I loved dearly. The day I dropped him off at his Mom’s house to live for what I thought was forever. I cried all the way back home. Then the night he called me about wrecking his truck and almost killing a poor nurse on her way home from a long day at work. I will never forget how kind and understanding she was truly a gift from God. You can also place you hurtful time here as well.

I hung the phone up from him today and noticed his voice sounded different at 20. He was no longer a kid. I thought about this when he man Airman but he still had this twinge in his voice that made me think he still had a ways to go. Today that twinge was much harder to detect. We talked about how broke he is and how he isn’t sure how to make the ends meet. But he never once asked me to help just what did you do when you were like this? He told me his Mom told him about when we had the hard times and how I always made it. I thought she never noticed. We talked about the good times and the bad and a plan for him to make it till payday. I must admit I was a master at that exercise. We spoke of not going into debt aqnd just cutting bad on the Red Bulls and other BS he spends his money on. We agreed to disagree on a few things. I think that is the first time I have every not tried to impose my will on him!!

Wow looks like I might be aging as well.

Well Happy Birthday my boy your Dad loves you deeply.

Think I will go out to the cellar and pull a 1989 out and drink it in his honor.

Hug your kids they will be 20 before you know it, and if you are blessed they will be like mine.

Blessed

Funny how this word is in the name of the Blog yet I have never used it as a post subject. Well here we go. I go to church at Hope. The pastor there is a pretty cool guy who really seems to have a grip on what is important. Now before you stop reading I am not trying to convert you, it is important to the body of the post, but if you are looking there is always Hope! His name is, Craig Strickland, the current sermon series is about IT. What is it that really has a hold of you? Worry was last week topic. Well I did a little accessing and I am so blessed, I really have no worries. Have a good job in a good industry we are not recession proof, but we do ok in good times and bad. I work with more good people than bad. I have stated here numerous times have a stable of friends that no one deserves. My health seems to be OK I go for the annual finger wave and bloodletting on the 18th of February. So as I write this I am better than many people in this city.

What about you? I would imagine you could think of a lot of things to worry about. Someone I love very much once told me that worry is the opposite of faith, what a concept. I guess the gist of this post is to try to get everyone to look for the positive in all things we hear so much negative just turn of the news. They never lead with something positive. Like they say if it bleeds it leads. What if we just had one good story a newscast something that made you feel like there is hope for us all? You know a feel good story, maybe not a full fledged Oprah story but, something up lifting. I do not know if you watch it, but I try to never miss it, a show called Sunday Morning on CBS around 9am on Sunday morning, imagine that!! They always seem to find one story to make you feel good about either yourself or someone on the show.

So there you have it we are all blessed it is all about attitude. Maybe that will be the next word Attitude.

Well I am off to The Madison Hotel for a wine dinner. Like I said, I am blessed and I hope you are too.

, I am being chauffeured tonight so maybe a Jamieson and ice for the ride downtown nice and warming

NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE that would be stupid and that is another topic all together!!!

Fear

You would think that after 50+ years on this planet I would not be afraid of too much. I have a good job, stable marriage, and a overall blessed life. There is one subject where I tread fearfully, my son. I wonder if my father ever had fears about me or my decisions. Another time I wish he were here. Seems like the older my son gets the more fearful the choices get. As you all know he was an Air force Special Forces guy. Notice the word was in the previous sentence! He has decided he wants to be a corpsman/Medic. The Air Force doesn’t have those guys so he arranged for an honorable discharge from the Air force and has applied, and be accepted, for a school in San Antonio that will give him the credentials for a EMT. Then he will enlist into the Army and become a corpsman/Medic and be attached to an Army Ranger unit due to his prior service as an Air force special Ops service. Do you see anything in the over scenario to be fearful of? I don’t know, maybe the words Middle East might come up. Or American infidel I think is the term. He keeps telling me not to worry but I do.

I wonder if my Father ever worried about me. If he did he never showed it. It was always “your grown make you choice and deal with it.” I did, and I did. I wonder what it would have been like if he would have showed a little more concern. Would I have made all of those terrible choices? Like trading my 1966 Convertible Mustang for a 1955 Chevy that barley ran!!! Wow that could have been the biggest thing I ever messed up!! But Dad just sat on the couch in his underwear and called me the dumbest SOB he had ever seen. I was determined to make sure that Chevy was better than that old Mustang. I did in my mind, but never his. I realize now that as tough as it might have been for him to allow me to truly screw the pooch, it was the best thing for me. I try to allow my son this freedom but something always kicks in and I give my opinion or advice or in some way try to soften the blow or take away the lesson. I think I have hurt him more than helped him in some cases. I have a dear friend who refuses to allow their son to fall of experience any difficulty in life. I have spoken to them about this and have even when as far to inquire about how their father or Mother would have handle the situation to show them they are doing nothing but hurting this child. Child my ass the kid is 23 now, and clueless about life. I asked my friend what happens if you disappear. The family is well off and I am sure this child will be fine for the short term. However, what happens when the money runs out and they must make it on their own.

I am pretty sure mine can make it on his own. Not that he likes it but one thing I have going for me is he loves the freedom. He was thinking of returning home during this transition period. We spoke about it briefly. I told him he was welcome, but that our house rules would be back in affect. He said he understood and that was “cool”. Well low and behold about 2 weeks later there was a plan hatched where he could stay in San Antonio and make it just fine!!! Got to love it maybe my Dad would be proud, you think?

Well lord knows I love my family all of them. Well I guess after writing this and rereading it I really have nothing to fear but fear itself. My wife always tells me that fear is the opposite of faith. I like that. I will have faith the good Lord will watch after my son today, tomorrow, and forever. I feel better now.

Getting cold outside maybe a nice Scotch and a fire would be just the right thing. Got a new cooking magazine in the mail today plus, I need to lay out the garden for next year. Looks like I’m in for the evening. Hope you are as blessed as I am and always will to be.