Is there another word in the language that emotes more emotion? From yeah to oh hell!! The yeah being I’m headed to my favorite place with my favorite people. The oh hell being I’m going to something I’m dreading like a family holiday vacation from hell. I haven’t had a vacation in over a year and I have one planned that is truly a dream. As you know I have a Memphis family and we are all loading up and going to Acapulco. We have rented a house fully staffed and I can’t wait to sit by the pool and read, drink and eat myself silly.
You know I am blessed as a I have stated here numerous times. I can’t ever remember being on a vacation that truly sucked. I have taken many that might have involved a little work as well, but nothing that just sent me into a funk. I can remember my Father not ever wanting to go to my grandmother’s house. She was a plastic on the sofa, don’t go into the living room grandmother. Then you had my Granny. And yes, the difference in the names says it all. I loved my grandmother, but I really loved my Granny. My grandmother taught me how to act right. My Granny taught me how to have fun and love unconditionally, a lesson I treasure to this day. It has cost me large pieces of my heart, on occasion, but the feeling of joy when you do love, the way I was taught by her, is almost over whelming. She also taught me to love to cook, and the joy of living life. Now not to knock my grandmother she taught me things like manners and how to eat with silverware, a lesson I forget at times!
As I look back on my youth I spent my summer vacations with them both they lived about 2 miles apart an easy walk for a young man at the time. I would love to be with my Granny. She was a very small woman gray hair always in a bun, always working doing something. She lived a hard life. Buried 3 or her 5 children, didn’t have indoor plumbing until we ran it in 1972!! However, I never heard her complain about anything. From getting wood for the stove in winter to heat the house or feeding the animals to working in the garden. She was an angel on earth. I am so blessed to have lived near this special woman.
My grandmother lived with her second husband a man who taught me something’s as well, like how not to treat your wife. I can remember if he got mad at my grandmother he would just not speak to her for days. She would talk to him he would act like she was not even alive. I can remember how much this hurt her and how she would talk to my mother on the phone and ask her what she could do to. I swore then I would never do that to anyone I said I loved. I can remember the family eating at the table, when he was finished he would get up and turn off the light announcing dinner was over! So he taught me how to eat really quickly. I can remember when I was about 16 or 17 I got up and turned the light back on because my mother was not finished with her dinner. He told me he was the man of that house and I could leave if I didn’t like his rules. I didn’t go back to that house for over a year when he was there I would go see my grandmother for brief periods, whenever he was gone. When he got sick right before he died I when to see him, at my grandmothers request. He didn’t speak to me at first I sat there in the room with him and my grandmother silently until finally my grandmother told him he was being an ass I had come to see him and he was dying and it might be the last time I saw him. He looked at me and said thanks for coming and if he did die please watch after grandmother for him. It was the only time in my life I had ever heard the man be civil to my grandmother. I honored his request. When my grandmother died we were closer than we ever had been while my grandfather was alive.
So as I get ready to hit the road with my family I am blessed that there are only grannies on this trip. I love these people with all of my heart. Each one of them is special in a way different from the other. But together we make something so much bigger than the single members. I guess that is what a family should be. I think my granny would fit in perfectly with my Memphis family. They are all like her, people I love unconditionally and with all of my heart.
Well I’d better go pack my 2 swim suits and 20 bottles of wine! Granny might not like that part too much, but she would just laugh and tell me how I’m just like my dad. And there is no higher compliment than that, my friends.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
History II
As you have read recently, I got a nice history lesson. Well last night I got another one, and this one, was a stone cold blast. As everyone here knows I am blessed to have wonderful friends. Two of them took my wife and I to see Rain last night, here in Memphis. If you don’t know what Rain is it’s a Beatle tribute band, and a damn good one. As the show was getting the crowd ready they were showing things, on a huge screen, that were happening when the Beatles were just coming to America. As I sat there watching all of things that happened, I realized, I have lived a lot of history. I remember most of it, I assure you I have friends who do not!!!
They showed the space program as it progressed, the moon landing; my grand father died believing they were in the dessert in Arizona!! Woodstock, my birthday weekend by the way, the peace movement, the summer of Love and all of the San Francisco culture. My father always told me that San Fran was going to fall of in the ocean one day when the good lord got sick of all them liberal hippies out there!! The civil rights marches, and the shooting of Doctor King. I remember that very clearly, a sad day for Memphis, and humanity as a whole.
Then they started on the fashions, or the lack there of, depending on what camp you are in; the Nehru jackets, yes I had one and was very studly in it. Of course it was blue paisley in color. Damn I’m glad there are no photos of that part of my life. Oh hell, there are a few, but my sister whom my mother lived with until she died has them, and no one goes to Alaska! I had huge hair issues. As a recent example, my wife and I were talking the other day, about my hair. She was talking about the kind of hair I had, and added, “the kind that grows around a monkey’s ass”. I almost died laughing! Damn I love that woman!! My hair looks like I saw Medusa but not enough to get turned to stone. Clear on the top, but Bozo like on the sides. Get the picture? Did you throw up in your mouth a little? Well maybe it’s not that bad, but it’s been the bane of my life, forever. When the Beatles hit I wanted to grow my hair out like the other normal people. Huge mistake. At this time in my life I was young. That equates to having hair, and lots of it, not clear on the top but full and wild. Picture, riding a wild horse through a small brier patch with me being under the horse! God love my Mother, she always told me it looked good. Now I know why my old man always wanted to be home, or be awake, when I left the house. It was the only time in his life I can remember him laughing out loud! I wonder now why I have self esteem issues. But I digress!
As I sat there last night watching all of these people from my generations and those closely to me, it was special. Several times during the night we all stood up and it was fun to watch us get up, popping and creaking. Back in the day, we were jumping and dancing in the aisles. Last night we were quite content to just stand and wave our hands in the air and clap like we were young again. I saw people, older than me and younger than me, all living history. What a blessing. As my wife put it, this takes me back to a time when I didn’t have a care in the world I was happy and carefree. She said it has been a long time since she experienced that much joy. I must agree even if my hair was clearer and grayer than it was back then!
Here’s hoping you get to relive a little of your joyous history. If so, please do not worry about your hair! Just clap and dance like no one is watching!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
They showed the space program as it progressed, the moon landing; my grand father died believing they were in the dessert in Arizona!! Woodstock, my birthday weekend by the way, the peace movement, the summer of Love and all of the San Francisco culture. My father always told me that San Fran was going to fall of in the ocean one day when the good lord got sick of all them liberal hippies out there!! The civil rights marches, and the shooting of Doctor King. I remember that very clearly, a sad day for Memphis, and humanity as a whole.
Then they started on the fashions, or the lack there of, depending on what camp you are in; the Nehru jackets, yes I had one and was very studly in it. Of course it was blue paisley in color. Damn I’m glad there are no photos of that part of my life. Oh hell, there are a few, but my sister whom my mother lived with until she died has them, and no one goes to Alaska! I had huge hair issues. As a recent example, my wife and I were talking the other day, about my hair. She was talking about the kind of hair I had, and added, “the kind that grows around a monkey’s ass”. I almost died laughing! Damn I love that woman!! My hair looks like I saw Medusa but not enough to get turned to stone. Clear on the top, but Bozo like on the sides. Get the picture? Did you throw up in your mouth a little? Well maybe it’s not that bad, but it’s been the bane of my life, forever. When the Beatles hit I wanted to grow my hair out like the other normal people. Huge mistake. At this time in my life I was young. That equates to having hair, and lots of it, not clear on the top but full and wild. Picture, riding a wild horse through a small brier patch with me being under the horse! God love my Mother, she always told me it looked good. Now I know why my old man always wanted to be home, or be awake, when I left the house. It was the only time in his life I can remember him laughing out loud! I wonder now why I have self esteem issues. But I digress!
As I sat there last night watching all of these people from my generations and those closely to me, it was special. Several times during the night we all stood up and it was fun to watch us get up, popping and creaking. Back in the day, we were jumping and dancing in the aisles. Last night we were quite content to just stand and wave our hands in the air and clap like we were young again. I saw people, older than me and younger than me, all living history. What a blessing. As my wife put it, this takes me back to a time when I didn’t have a care in the world I was happy and carefree. She said it has been a long time since she experienced that much joy. I must agree even if my hair was clearer and grayer than it was back then!
Here’s hoping you get to relive a little of your joyous history. If so, please do not worry about your hair! Just clap and dance like no one is watching!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Saturday, January 16, 2010
History
I had a unique and special experience this morning. As I have said here before I live with my 92-year-old mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman and absolutely no trouble and really a joy to be around. Now at 92 she might repeats herself every now and then but over all she is amazingly lucid most of the time. Oh, and did I mention she lives upstairs! Yep, upstairs the stairs I dread to climb on the off chance I have blown a fuse or need to boot the wireless router. My we all be this agile when we are 92!
Back to my story. This morning I got a rare history lesson. Most of the history we get by reading. I got this one from the person that lived it. This morning she got to talking about the days of her youth. Growing up on a diary farm in Stanley Wisconsin. Talking about going to the country school. Telling story after story of how life was different back then. She always started off each new story with” life back then was hard” and always ended each story with “I guess it really wasn’t so bad, really”. Stories of her father and his ability to make anything he needed because town was so far off and it was easier. Stories of her grandfather and how he used to pick on her. And how her grand mother would always send her a card with a dime in it and how she would look forward to that card and treasure that dime because that was a lot of money back then! The stories of how her sister was a better milker than her because she would just walk in and hit that cow with her milking stool move her around and milk her. She said that cow just stood there and took it because she knew my sister meant business. And how whenever they asked her to milk she always would get kicked and her and bucket would go flying! She told a story of riding the sleigh to school in the winter wrapped in horse blankets because of the cold. The school was 5 miles away! My grocery store is less than 5 miles away. My school I rode a bike through 8th grade and thought I was going to be marked for life!! Then the story of how she rode a bus from Stanley Wisconsin to Atlanta, Georgia to go to college that some man in town put up her entrance fee. I asked her who it was and how much it was and she didn’t remember she just knew she was not living in the country she wanted to be a city girl! Can you only imagine riding a bus from those places in 1929? Hell, I don’t ride a bus across town and wouldn’t want to and she rode one from almost one end of this country to another in the 20’s! Then came the stories of her college times, the marriage to her husband, and their kids. It was a conversation I will treasure always.
Now think about it. What history have you lived? Would anyone want to talk to you about your experiences? Have we really seen a lot of change? Think of the change she has seen. She was born in the house that she lived, in not a hospital. There was no electricity, indoor plumbing, they got a car but not until she was almost off to college. No telephone, cell phones, television, cable, Ipods or just about anything we think we can’t live without nowadays. And please remember she closed every story with “I guess it wasn’t that bad really”!!! Are you kidding me, wait a second, maybe it wasn’t. All of her stories were about family and friends. Every single story I heard this morning related back to a family member of hers and how much they depended on each other not only for entertainment but for survival as well. As I looked into her eyes this morning with each story they grew more and more lucid and clear. She was there and I could see it hell I was there as well. Special, very special.
Wow what would happen if that were today. If we suddenly were catapulted back in time and had to depend on each other and the talents we all had to make it all work out. Well I am proud to tell you I could make it as long as I can take my Memphis family and few friends.
You know I have seen a lot of change in my life as well. I only hope and pray one day someone will allow me to take a walk back though time, as she did with me this morning, and relive what I am sure I thought were the tough times. I am sure I will close my stories with “I guess it wasn’t that bad really”!!!!!
Peace
The Blessed Man
Back to my story. This morning I got a rare history lesson. Most of the history we get by reading. I got this one from the person that lived it. This morning she got to talking about the days of her youth. Growing up on a diary farm in Stanley Wisconsin. Talking about going to the country school. Telling story after story of how life was different back then. She always started off each new story with” life back then was hard” and always ended each story with “I guess it really wasn’t so bad, really”. Stories of her father and his ability to make anything he needed because town was so far off and it was easier. Stories of her grandfather and how he used to pick on her. And how her grand mother would always send her a card with a dime in it and how she would look forward to that card and treasure that dime because that was a lot of money back then! The stories of how her sister was a better milker than her because she would just walk in and hit that cow with her milking stool move her around and milk her. She said that cow just stood there and took it because she knew my sister meant business. And how whenever they asked her to milk she always would get kicked and her and bucket would go flying! She told a story of riding the sleigh to school in the winter wrapped in horse blankets because of the cold. The school was 5 miles away! My grocery store is less than 5 miles away. My school I rode a bike through 8th grade and thought I was going to be marked for life!! Then the story of how she rode a bus from Stanley Wisconsin to Atlanta, Georgia to go to college that some man in town put up her entrance fee. I asked her who it was and how much it was and she didn’t remember she just knew she was not living in the country she wanted to be a city girl! Can you only imagine riding a bus from those places in 1929? Hell, I don’t ride a bus across town and wouldn’t want to and she rode one from almost one end of this country to another in the 20’s! Then came the stories of her college times, the marriage to her husband, and their kids. It was a conversation I will treasure always.
Now think about it. What history have you lived? Would anyone want to talk to you about your experiences? Have we really seen a lot of change? Think of the change she has seen. She was born in the house that she lived, in not a hospital. There was no electricity, indoor plumbing, they got a car but not until she was almost off to college. No telephone, cell phones, television, cable, Ipods or just about anything we think we can’t live without nowadays. And please remember she closed every story with “I guess it wasn’t that bad really”!!! Are you kidding me, wait a second, maybe it wasn’t. All of her stories were about family and friends. Every single story I heard this morning related back to a family member of hers and how much they depended on each other not only for entertainment but for survival as well. As I looked into her eyes this morning with each story they grew more and more lucid and clear. She was there and I could see it hell I was there as well. Special, very special.
Wow what would happen if that were today. If we suddenly were catapulted back in time and had to depend on each other and the talents we all had to make it all work out. Well I am proud to tell you I could make it as long as I can take my Memphis family and few friends.
You know I have seen a lot of change in my life as well. I only hope and pray one day someone will allow me to take a walk back though time, as she did with me this morning, and relive what I am sure I thought were the tough times. I am sure I will close my stories with “I guess it wasn’t that bad really”!!!!!
Peace
The Blessed Man
Friday, January 15, 2010
True
As you have read here many times, I have a Memphis Family. We are a funny bunch for sure. All of us are totally different but love each other unconditionally. This note is about one of special members. This man has a history and past as we all do however, I’m told the man I know may have been quiet different if I had met him say 20 years ago. Well I can more than likely say the same thing about me, so I am not one to dig up the past so let’s leave sleeping dogs lie if you please!
This is a smart, driven man. He makes decisions everyday that affect numerous people and huge amounts of money. His work world is edgy and extremely fast paced. He is a man of few words and action. He is tuff and his peer’s look to him for advice and guidance. I hope you understand this guy is a businessman, and in business you need to be tough and decisive. If you deal with my friend you had better be prepared or pay the price. I have learned two major things from this man. First business is business. Second Cash is king!
This is a man that operates one business, he has several, solely to keep a great bunch of people employed. Now he watches them like a hawk and all the while teaching them what it takes to make it. An education that money can’t buy because guys like this, don’t teach business school, they live it. He guides an amazing group of hard working people though a very tuff and rough business and gives them just enough rope to learn the lesson but not enough to hang themselves. The business they are in, this never happens, this group is blessed for sure. I think if you asked them they would all agree wholeheartedly.
Now when this guy leaves work he turns into something that, if his work people saw they could not believe. He has what he calls “The animals”. And aside here, if I should die tonight I would ask the good lord to return me as one of this guys “animals”. He is the kindest most loving caretaker you can imagine. It has just been bitterly cold here temps in the single digits, which is rare for here. This man everyday has swapped out 3 or 4 20 pound propane tanks to ensure these animals are warm throughout the night! His stable includes, 3 peacocks, 2 rabbits, 3 chickens and 2 roosters. This doesn’t include his dog, which is an entire different post because that is who opened my friend’s heart to animals and more than likely softened him up even to the rest of us to some degree. One of the rabbits got an eye infection off to the vet $400 later the rabbit is better and he now separates the rabbit for its safety! Not many of us would spend $400 on a rabbit unless; it was a gift to your child from either a revenge-seeking parent or in-law. And even then we might try to explain it away trying not to mark the child for eternity!! But not my friend, off to the vet to make sure little bunny Foo-Foo was in good shape, and not in pain.
This man I consider one of my best friends and I love him like family. A truer example of compassion and love you will never find, in my opinion. He loves his wife madly, he has been trough times with his stepson that make the little bit of bitching I do seem so lame. Through it all he has stood by both of them, no matter the cost or situation. As I have been involved on the edge of so of the madness I have never seen him even flinch at whatever needed to be done. What a man’s man. I am proud to call him my friend and Memphis family member for sure.
Where does all this lead, I’m not sure. I just know that you needed to know that there are people in this world who we might cross paths with in a business or another environment who in their real life are true hero’s. People who we might think “damn I would hate to be married to that asshole”. When nothing could be further from the truth. I would place a large wager that if asked, his wife would report he is the most loving, truest, and supportive mate a person could ever ask to share their life with. I know that is what I would say about him, as a friend. He has had an immeasurable influence on me, and my life as well. He always tells the truth and always thinks before he acts or speaks. Something I am still working hard on, just ask my wife!! He is true to his belief system and is not ashamed of who he is or what he stands for. Don’t we all wish we had that one trait?
Well, as I close, I am proud to tell you I will be having dinner with this guy and his family tonight. I think I will give him a bigger hug than normal and hope he knows how much he means to me and in my life. Hell, maybe I will take a page of his book and just tell him. That way I know he knows!
I still want to be one of those damn animals!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
This is a smart, driven man. He makes decisions everyday that affect numerous people and huge amounts of money. His work world is edgy and extremely fast paced. He is a man of few words and action. He is tuff and his peer’s look to him for advice and guidance. I hope you understand this guy is a businessman, and in business you need to be tough and decisive. If you deal with my friend you had better be prepared or pay the price. I have learned two major things from this man. First business is business. Second Cash is king!
This is a man that operates one business, he has several, solely to keep a great bunch of people employed. Now he watches them like a hawk and all the while teaching them what it takes to make it. An education that money can’t buy because guys like this, don’t teach business school, they live it. He guides an amazing group of hard working people though a very tuff and rough business and gives them just enough rope to learn the lesson but not enough to hang themselves. The business they are in, this never happens, this group is blessed for sure. I think if you asked them they would all agree wholeheartedly.
Now when this guy leaves work he turns into something that, if his work people saw they could not believe. He has what he calls “The animals”. And aside here, if I should die tonight I would ask the good lord to return me as one of this guys “animals”. He is the kindest most loving caretaker you can imagine. It has just been bitterly cold here temps in the single digits, which is rare for here. This man everyday has swapped out 3 or 4 20 pound propane tanks to ensure these animals are warm throughout the night! His stable includes, 3 peacocks, 2 rabbits, 3 chickens and 2 roosters. This doesn’t include his dog, which is an entire different post because that is who opened my friend’s heart to animals and more than likely softened him up even to the rest of us to some degree. One of the rabbits got an eye infection off to the vet $400 later the rabbit is better and he now separates the rabbit for its safety! Not many of us would spend $400 on a rabbit unless; it was a gift to your child from either a revenge-seeking parent or in-law. And even then we might try to explain it away trying not to mark the child for eternity!! But not my friend, off to the vet to make sure little bunny Foo-Foo was in good shape, and not in pain.
This man I consider one of my best friends and I love him like family. A truer example of compassion and love you will never find, in my opinion. He loves his wife madly, he has been trough times with his stepson that make the little bit of bitching I do seem so lame. Through it all he has stood by both of them, no matter the cost or situation. As I have been involved on the edge of so of the madness I have never seen him even flinch at whatever needed to be done. What a man’s man. I am proud to call him my friend and Memphis family member for sure.
Where does all this lead, I’m not sure. I just know that you needed to know that there are people in this world who we might cross paths with in a business or another environment who in their real life are true hero’s. People who we might think “damn I would hate to be married to that asshole”. When nothing could be further from the truth. I would place a large wager that if asked, his wife would report he is the most loving, truest, and supportive mate a person could ever ask to share their life with. I know that is what I would say about him, as a friend. He has had an immeasurable influence on me, and my life as well. He always tells the truth and always thinks before he acts or speaks. Something I am still working hard on, just ask my wife!! He is true to his belief system and is not ashamed of who he is or what he stands for. Don’t we all wish we had that one trait?
Well, as I close, I am proud to tell you I will be having dinner with this guy and his family tonight. I think I will give him a bigger hug than normal and hope he knows how much he means to me and in my life. Hell, maybe I will take a page of his book and just tell him. That way I know he knows!
I still want to be one of those damn animals!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Benevolent
Had to do a little research for today’s word. Still not sure I got it correct. You can be the judge after the fact.
My wife has run a female wine group for many years. The group meets every month and is very loosely pattern off a men’s group I’m in that has been meeting for well over 20 years. Her group is very focused and they are more than likely the most educated women in the city about wine. Now that being said here is the story.
The group was scheduled to go over to one of the member’s houses this month. I was cooking for the group and another person was presenting the wines. Sounds pretty normal until I add this information. The husband of the hostess for last nights tasting; his Father died yesterday. My wife offered to host the event immediately and move everything to our house. But instead they said no lets keep it here and asked her not to tell anyone about the husbands lost. Well we are very close and due to circumstances that do not belong here she told me and swore me to secrecy. We arrived and he was there as the greeter. Making sure all the coats were properly put away and all of the ladies knew exactly where to go for the aperitif champagne. The husband is always helping and trying to make sure that his wife’s events are perfect. He always has the room set just so, and is constantly making sure everyone is entertained and comfortable. Last night, as the meeting started, he, my assistant, and I ended up in the kitchen for a period of time while the presenter ran down the wine line up and other things that they do in their meetings. As I sat there thinking about the state of mind this guy had to be in, he didn’t know I knew about his father as it was to be kept from everyone. He was engaging and pleasant. Sitting there drinking a glass of wine and making small talk with me and my assistant. What a trooper, and giver to forge ahead on a day he lost his father! I remember back the night my Father died I am not to sure I would have been good company for anyone, especially a women’s wine group and all that comes with entertaining them. He went the entire night head held high clear eyed and focused on the women and the event. I hear those of you who might offer the distraction theory; he needed the event to take his mind off his sorrow. I get that but all I have is my on experience to call on and I am not sure I would have wanted the distraction. And there in lies the word, Benevolent. Webster’s definition is 1 a : marked by or disposed to doing good 2 b : organized for the purpose of doing good 2 : marked by or suggestive of goodwill. Seems to fit for me.
Strange thing about this entire story is this is a side of this person I have never encountered, until last night. I think that is why I was so shocked. I guess people react differently to things. I have heard my wife say a million times “Don’t expect me to hold it together if I lose one of my parents” she lost her Father this pasted summer and held it together amazingly well. Seems like when the chips are down and your backs against the wall most of us come to the plate. I was glad to see this side of this guy.
Seems like I always end up on the blessing side of things, even when I am not looking for it. I was very blessed to see this guy give it all up for his wife and my wife’s wine group and never asked to be felt sorry for or anything else. I hope that one day they all find out what happened so they can, like me, appreciate what this guy did not only for his wife, but also for the group as a whole.
Well I hope he and his father were on good terms. Now that I think about it they had to be no one could have made that happen if they were ridden with guilty and remorse.
Once again I was given an opportunity to see humanity at its best. I hope that everyday you look to find the simply things that make us all blessed people.
Well I think I will go cook dinner for the wife and her Mother and make sure they know how grateful I am to have them both in my life. Pinot and Pork chops sounds like just the ticket.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
My wife has run a female wine group for many years. The group meets every month and is very loosely pattern off a men’s group I’m in that has been meeting for well over 20 years. Her group is very focused and they are more than likely the most educated women in the city about wine. Now that being said here is the story.
The group was scheduled to go over to one of the member’s houses this month. I was cooking for the group and another person was presenting the wines. Sounds pretty normal until I add this information. The husband of the hostess for last nights tasting; his Father died yesterday. My wife offered to host the event immediately and move everything to our house. But instead they said no lets keep it here and asked her not to tell anyone about the husbands lost. Well we are very close and due to circumstances that do not belong here she told me and swore me to secrecy. We arrived and he was there as the greeter. Making sure all the coats were properly put away and all of the ladies knew exactly where to go for the aperitif champagne. The husband is always helping and trying to make sure that his wife’s events are perfect. He always has the room set just so, and is constantly making sure everyone is entertained and comfortable. Last night, as the meeting started, he, my assistant, and I ended up in the kitchen for a period of time while the presenter ran down the wine line up and other things that they do in their meetings. As I sat there thinking about the state of mind this guy had to be in, he didn’t know I knew about his father as it was to be kept from everyone. He was engaging and pleasant. Sitting there drinking a glass of wine and making small talk with me and my assistant. What a trooper, and giver to forge ahead on a day he lost his father! I remember back the night my Father died I am not to sure I would have been good company for anyone, especially a women’s wine group and all that comes with entertaining them. He went the entire night head held high clear eyed and focused on the women and the event. I hear those of you who might offer the distraction theory; he needed the event to take his mind off his sorrow. I get that but all I have is my on experience to call on and I am not sure I would have wanted the distraction. And there in lies the word, Benevolent. Webster’s definition is 1 a : marked by or disposed to doing good 2 b : organized for the purpose of doing good 2 : marked by or suggestive of goodwill
Strange thing about this entire story is this is a side of this person I have never encountered, until last night. I think that is why I was so shocked. I guess people react differently to things. I have heard my wife say a million times “Don’t expect me to hold it together if I lose one of my parents” she lost her Father this pasted summer and held it together amazingly well. Seems like when the chips are down and your backs against the wall most of us come to the plate. I was glad to see this side of this guy.
Seems like I always end up on the blessing side of things, even when I am not looking for it. I was very blessed to see this guy give it all up for his wife and my wife’s wine group and never asked to be felt sorry for or anything else. I hope that one day they all find out what happened so they can, like me, appreciate what this guy did not only for his wife, but also for the group as a whole.
Well I hope he and his father were on good terms. Now that I think about it they had to be no one could have made that happen if they were ridden with guilty and remorse.
Once again I was given an opportunity to see humanity at its best. I hope that everyday you look to find the simply things that make us all blessed people.
Well I think I will go cook dinner for the wife and her Mother and make sure they know how grateful I am to have them both in my life. Pinot and Pork chops sounds like just the ticket.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Genuine
I was at the doctor’s office yesterday, a place I have been visiting way too much lately. The young lady called my name, and the names of two others. We all limped up to her and then in this angelic voice she said “This away ya’ll” . She repeated it about three times as we wound our way back through the clinic to the very back of the place. A place unfamiliar to me, or the others in our tiny limping band of humanity. However, the calming “This away ya’ll come-on this away” seemed to make it all OK. My counter parts on this journey were 2 elderly people who seemed very calmed by the wonderful young lady and her genuineness if there is such a word.
I got to thinking as I sat waiting the wonderful experience of getting a shot in your knee joint, what a special trait to have, to be genuine. It started me thinking of the genuine people that are in my life. If you sit back and assess your friends and co-workers who is genuine among them? For me there are a few. One that comes to mind is a friend of mine who has had a rough row to hoe, as my granny used to say, lately. She has had numerous trials and tribulations but she has always remained solid as a rock being genuine to herself and all of us around her. Under circumstances I would have buckled under numerous times she stood strong, and I mean Strong. She held not only a family together, but also a child suffering from things I can only imagine. Want to know how genuine you are let your kids start suffering it will reveal who you really are quicker than anything I can imagine. I know, as you have read, in this blog I have suffered with kid issues. It is very hard to stay true to you, and she did it with her head held high and looking the adversity in the eye. I was proud to see her, and call her my Memphis Family, as she reacted and dealt with this very hard test of her character and will. She passed with flying colors.
I think of a guy I when to high school with, he has been a part of my life for over 50 years. He is one of the most gifted people I know. He has never been married and hasn’t really dated seriously maybe 3 times in his life. Yet, he is one of the most genuine guys I know. True to himself and his beliefs, a man of character and values. I lived with this guy during what will forever be known as “the wild years”. We were the exact opposites. Me running like a roman soldier, him, staying at home working hard and doing the right thing. I can remember him telling me after I moved out he missed me because he had the start going out and getting the paper again. You see, I had been bringing it in as I was coming home! He never tried one time to change me or give me any advice. I am quite sure he had some and if I had any sense I should have asked him! Today, he is retired and working with his nephew me working 50 – 60 hours a week still!
I would love to include my father here but the stories are to numerous and the lesson he taught me to complex for this simple script. Let it be known, my Father was the most genuine loving man I have ever known. He taught me that all you have is your world is your word. If you do not honor it, then you have nothing. He was so special, as I look back on my life. Funny how when you are living it, it all seems like so much trouble and the unanswered questions, “Why did you do that?” or the “That makes no sense to me” and “Why are you so mad” And my all time favorite, because of the response “That’s not fare” My Dad would always say “the fair is down on Parkway in September”!! Those times have now added up to the most important lessons in my life.
I would like to think that, if asked, my friends would think of me as Genuine. If they do, all I can say is, Thanks Dad!!!
Well I guess I had better go check my short ribs. Having Church friends over tonight saying thank you for what they all do for the church, great people doing great things unnoticed. Wow that might even be called genuine…
Here’s hoping your friends would think of your name first if the genuine question ever comes up.
Peace,The ever changing blessed Man
I got to thinking as I sat waiting the wonderful experience of getting a shot in your knee joint, what a special trait to have, to be genuine. It started me thinking of the genuine people that are in my life. If you sit back and assess your friends and co-workers who is genuine among them? For me there are a few. One that comes to mind is a friend of mine who has had a rough row to hoe, as my granny used to say, lately. She has had numerous trials and tribulations but she has always remained solid as a rock being genuine to herself and all of us around her. Under circumstances I would have buckled under numerous times she stood strong, and I mean Strong. She held not only a family together, but also a child suffering from things I can only imagine. Want to know how genuine you are let your kids start suffering it will reveal who you really are quicker than anything I can imagine. I know, as you have read, in this blog I have suffered with kid issues. It is very hard to stay true to you, and she did it with her head held high and looking the adversity in the eye. I was proud to see her, and call her my Memphis Family, as she reacted and dealt with this very hard test of her character and will. She passed with flying colors.
I think of a guy I when to high school with, he has been a part of my life for over 50 years. He is one of the most gifted people I know. He has never been married and hasn’t really dated seriously maybe 3 times in his life. Yet, he is one of the most genuine guys I know. True to himself and his beliefs, a man of character and values. I lived with this guy during what will forever be known as “the wild years”. We were the exact opposites. Me running like a roman soldier, him, staying at home working hard and doing the right thing. I can remember him telling me after I moved out he missed me because he had the start going out and getting the paper again. You see, I had been bringing it in as I was coming home! He never tried one time to change me or give me any advice. I am quite sure he had some and if I had any sense I should have asked him! Today, he is retired and working with his nephew me working 50 – 60 hours a week still!
I would love to include my father here but the stories are to numerous and the lesson he taught me to complex for this simple script. Let it be known, my Father was the most genuine loving man I have ever known. He taught me that all you have is your world is your word. If you do not honor it, then you have nothing. He was so special, as I look back on my life. Funny how when you are living it, it all seems like so much trouble and the unanswered questions, “Why did you do that?” or the “That makes no sense to me” and “Why are you so mad” And my all time favorite, because of the response “That’s not fare” My Dad would always say “the fair is down on Parkway in September”!! Those times have now added up to the most important lessons in my life.
I would like to think that, if asked, my friends would think of me as Genuine. If they do, all I can say is, Thanks Dad!!!
Well I guess I had better go check my short ribs. Having Church friends over tonight saying thank you for what they all do for the church, great people doing great things unnoticed. Wow that might even be called genuine…
Here’s hoping your friends would think of your name first if the genuine question ever comes up.
Peace,The ever changing blessed Man
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Moved
I have heard it said that English is the hardest language to learn, as a second one, due to the fact we have so many words that have different meanings depending on how they are used in the sentence. This is such a word. In one case it means something physical, changing your location. I can’t think of a time in my life when it meant something wonderful, in the physical form, other than when I moved out of my Fathers house! On the other hand it means something emotional. And as I sit here I can’t think of a time when I have been moved that it didn’t turn out to be a blessing in some form.
I go to a rather large church. We go to an early service. I’m not sure why more than likely because I can’t stand traffic. The early service offers me a smaller crowd and a chance to get in and out with little or no traffic. But I digress.
This morning as I stood listening to the singing of the congregation I noticed that the majority of the people in church were swaying to this rather beautiful song. I thought then, that how powerful it was that the song, the performers, the situation or whatever it was had this effect on that many people. I then started remembering the moments in my life where I was moved.
The biggest one I remembered was that day after Thanksgiving 1985 when I stood and listened to a doctor tell me my Father had maybe 6 months to live. As I look back on that what a blessing. I got to be with my Father from that weekend until he died the following April. We got everything we needed to get straight. We apologized for the things we should have and told each other how proud we were of the other and got everything done for his funeral. We were closer when he died than at anytime in my life. What a blessing.
Then the time my son was born. Looking down on this little person and the idea that this was mine and my responsibility to take care of always was pretty moving. There have been many moving things between he and I and the second most moving had to be the day he made Airman in the USAF. I rarely fight back tears, that day it was the hardest thing to do for me. I have never been prouder of him.
The day in Tampa when my wife’s son came into the waiting room wearing a hospital scrub shirt with a tiny set of foot prints of his newly born baby daughter imprinted on his chest and the embrace between him and his mother I will never forget.
I do not understand people who say they are not emotional. How can you watch a episode of Dogtown and not be moved to try to help this poor animals. How can you watch a reunion between a soldier and his or hers family after being in harms way and not be moved. I am not trying to get us to be a society of babbling crybabies, but I do think if we do not stop and be moved we miss an incredible part of life. Like it is said; in the end it's not the years in your life that count, the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
So I advocate letting the things in your life move you in 2010. Pay attention and enjoy what I get to enjoy daily.
Well I think I going to load up the girls and take them to brunch. What a blessing to have them to share a great meal. Proving once again how truly blessed I am, and have been for my entire life.
I go to a rather large church. We go to an early service. I’m not sure why more than likely because I can’t stand traffic. The early service offers me a smaller crowd and a chance to get in and out with little or no traffic. But I digress.
This morning as I stood listening to the singing of the congregation I noticed that the majority of the people in church were swaying to this rather beautiful song. I thought then, that how powerful it was that the song, the performers, the situation or whatever it was had this effect on that many people. I then started remembering the moments in my life where I was moved.
The biggest one I remembered was that day after Thanksgiving 1985 when I stood and listened to a doctor tell me my Father had maybe 6 months to live. As I look back on that what a blessing. I got to be with my Father from that weekend until he died the following April. We got everything we needed to get straight. We apologized for the things we should have and told each other how proud we were of the other and got everything done for his funeral. We were closer when he died than at anytime in my life. What a blessing.
Then the time my son was born. Looking down on this little person and the idea that this was mine and my responsibility to take care of always was pretty moving. There have been many moving things between he and I and the second most moving had to be the day he made Airman in the USAF. I rarely fight back tears, that day it was the hardest thing to do for me. I have never been prouder of him.
The day in Tampa when my wife’s son came into the waiting room wearing a hospital scrub shirt with a tiny set of foot prints of his newly born baby daughter imprinted on his chest and the embrace between him and his mother I will never forget.
I do not understand people who say they are not emotional. How can you watch a episode of Dogtown and not be moved to try to help this poor animals. How can you watch a reunion between a soldier and his or hers family after being in harms way and not be moved. I am not trying to get us to be a society of babbling crybabies, but I do think if we do not stop and be moved we miss an incredible part of life. Like it is said; in the end it's not the years in your life that count, the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
So I advocate letting the things in your life move you in 2010. Pay attention and enjoy what I get to enjoy daily.
Well I think I going to load up the girls and take them to brunch. What a blessing to have them to share a great meal. Proving once again how truly blessed I am, and have been for my entire life.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Legacy
It is rare in your life, at least mine, when you get to see such a powerful word in life form. I had just such an experience last night. I have members of my Memphis family, I have often mentioned in this blog, and this story is about the patriarch of that family, Tony. Tone the Bone as he is known to his friends. This is an 81-year-old man. He can work a crew of men in there 30’s to death. He can build or fix anything that concerns construction. Come flying in the door at 6 PM shower, shave and get a glass of Chardonnay and then dance until after midnight. Up at 6 AM the next morning and do it all over again the next day.
Last night we were over at the house, he lives with his daughter and son in law whom are some of my closest friend in Memphis. As you know my Mother in Law lives with us and she is 92. She has lived quite a life, but that is another post. She was the driving force in a family that founded the largest church in Griffin Georgia. She is an astounding woman of faith. Tony is a devote Baptist, yes and he dances how cool is that!!!!
Last night as the guys were watching football and the girls were doing whatever girls do Tony grabbed Bobbie by the hand and said come on with me. He proceeded to the living room and with the help of another dear friend who played the piano started singing the old standard hymns from church. As I sat there watching this I started to realize just why this entire family is so special. He sat there singing and asking Bobbie, “ What do we sing next?” They sang every old standard I grew up listening to and a bunch I had never heard but that they knew every verse. They sang for almost an hour. It was the most fun I have seen Bobbie have since she has lived with us.
How does this relate to the word of the post? Quite easily, this family is made up of the most special people I have ever met. Each with a big dose of Tony in them; The Mother and Father are the most loving and thoughtful people you could ever ask for in your lives, more than likely coming from Tony. The children, there are four, are each special and different. Each a special personality, but at the core they are all like Tony. His influence on them is so very clear as I look at it now. They all hug and kiss not only their family, but also every one who they call their family members. They are always courteous and thoughtful. An example is anytime they come into the house they make the rounds of all the people there either introducing themselves to the new folks, and hugging and kissing the family. Since Bobbie has come to live with us they have taken her by the hand and made her theirs. This group of children, all older than 22 years of age, still has a huge place in their hearts for family and home. A rarity in this day and time, in my opinion.
As I sat there last night listening to him and Bobbie singing this hit me like a ton of bricks. This entire band of very special people all has the character of Tony. They have lived together for well over 30 years. Tony and his wife lived with the family since the daughter got married. The mother, Tony’s wife, battled cancer and passed away while living in this family home. Think could you live with you Father or Mother for over 35 years? I loved my Mother and Father endlessly but not to sure I could answer the question. I know I live with my Mother in Law today and she is proving to be a joy so maybe I could have done it!
What will be your Legacy? Will you entire family be a better group for the life you have lived? I can’t say mine will. My son seems to be getting better, but the battles are still numerous and sometimes rough. Will my good traits, if I have any, be passed along? Are the blessing in my life being shared like Tony shares his, so open and freely giving of himself and his talents. Maybe that is a good thing to try to do in this new decade. Be more aware of trying to pass along what little bit of good I might be able to share with my family and friends. It surely couldn’t hurt.
Well that is my New Year resolution to be more like Tone the Bone!!!! I promise you there are worst people you could emulate!!
Well I think I will go watch the Cotton Bowl and see if I can’t catch a glimpse of one of this special children I have just written about. She is on the dance Team for Ole Miss.
Might even take a glass of wine in there and enjoy the fire. Once again proving how blessed I am to have known Tone the Bone and his wonderful family!!
Last night we were over at the house, he lives with his daughter and son in law whom are some of my closest friend in Memphis. As you know my Mother in Law lives with us and she is 92. She has lived quite a life, but that is another post. She was the driving force in a family that founded the largest church in Griffin Georgia. She is an astounding woman of faith. Tony is a devote Baptist, yes and he dances how cool is that!!!!
Last night as the guys were watching football and the girls were doing whatever girls do Tony grabbed Bobbie by the hand and said come on with me. He proceeded to the living room and with the help of another dear friend who played the piano started singing the old standard hymns from church. As I sat there watching this I started to realize just why this entire family is so special. He sat there singing and asking Bobbie, “ What do we sing next?” They sang every old standard I grew up listening to and a bunch I had never heard but that they knew every verse. They sang for almost an hour. It was the most fun I have seen Bobbie have since she has lived with us.
How does this relate to the word of the post? Quite easily, this family is made up of the most special people I have ever met. Each with a big dose of Tony in them; The Mother and Father are the most loving and thoughtful people you could ever ask for in your lives, more than likely coming from Tony. The children, there are four, are each special and different. Each a special personality, but at the core they are all like Tony. His influence on them is so very clear as I look at it now. They all hug and kiss not only their family, but also every one who they call their family members. They are always courteous and thoughtful. An example is anytime they come into the house they make the rounds of all the people there either introducing themselves to the new folks, and hugging and kissing the family. Since Bobbie has come to live with us they have taken her by the hand and made her theirs. This group of children, all older than 22 years of age, still has a huge place in their hearts for family and home. A rarity in this day and time, in my opinion.
As I sat there last night listening to him and Bobbie singing this hit me like a ton of bricks. This entire band of very special people all has the character of Tony. They have lived together for well over 30 years. Tony and his wife lived with the family since the daughter got married. The mother, Tony’s wife, battled cancer and passed away while living in this family home. Think could you live with you Father or Mother for over 35 years? I loved my Mother and Father endlessly but not to sure I could answer the question. I know I live with my Mother in Law today and she is proving to be a joy so maybe I could have done it!
What will be your Legacy? Will you entire family be a better group for the life you have lived? I can’t say mine will. My son seems to be getting better, but the battles are still numerous and sometimes rough. Will my good traits, if I have any, be passed along? Are the blessing in my life being shared like Tony shares his, so open and freely giving of himself and his talents. Maybe that is a good thing to try to do in this new decade. Be more aware of trying to pass along what little bit of good I might be able to share with my family and friends. It surely couldn’t hurt.
Well that is my New Year resolution to be more like Tone the Bone!!!! I promise you there are worst people you could emulate!!
Well I think I will go watch the Cotton Bowl and see if I can’t catch a glimpse of one of this special children I have just written about. She is on the dance Team for Ole Miss.
Might even take a glass of wine in there and enjoy the fire. Once again proving how blessed I am to have known Tone the Bone and his wonderful family!!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Decade
Wow has it been ten years since Y2K? What were you doing the day that everything eas going to crash? I remember we rented a house called Tannenbaum on Greer’s Ferry Lake in Arkansas. There were six of us and we cooked a meal to remember and all watched as the world changed into the year 2000. I remember thinking as I watched the Eiffel Tower explode with fireworks what a special night this was to be alive. We cooked a meal for the ages as well Steak Lobster and everything decadent you can image and the wines were off the chart as well. What a night and the Y2K deal, a flop, kind of funny when you look back on what everyone thought might happen.
Now more importantly what did you do over the last ten years? Me, a lot, I finally talked the woman of my dreams into marrying me. I expanded my career to new heights I didn’t know were possible. I have developed a much closer relationship with my son, much closer than we have ever been. I think I am a better friend now. I have returned to going to church and have found a whole new group of people I have grown to love and depend on. I have definitely gotten older. The knees hurt, the back hurts and I like to sit around a lot now. I have really never been a sit around guy. Now it is nice to light a fire, when it’s cold outside, or sit by the pool with a book, when it’s hot. I used to love to play golf when it was hot now, not so much. I still love golf just when the temp is below say 90.
As I look back over the last ten years I can count more blessing than anything else. It is humbling to see what has been given to me. The people who keep my work, my family, my life and basically me going are a constant source of blessing and fulfillment. I don’t want to sound strange but my entire life has been blessed for more than 10 years.
So as we entire another Decade may your life be like mine, if that is what you want, happiness and joy. And hopefully to good lord will give me the grace to pass along as many of the blessing he sends me as I possible can.
Have a blessed 2010 I kind of know mine is going to be hopefully yours will be too.
Black-eyed peas and turnip greens for me, I wonder what goes better with Turnip Green, Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc??? Let’s just open one of each after all we are blessed!!!!
Now more importantly what did you do over the last ten years? Me, a lot, I finally talked the woman of my dreams into marrying me. I expanded my career to new heights I didn’t know were possible. I have developed a much closer relationship with my son, much closer than we have ever been. I think I am a better friend now. I have returned to going to church and have found a whole new group of people I have grown to love and depend on. I have definitely gotten older. The knees hurt, the back hurts and I like to sit around a lot now. I have really never been a sit around guy. Now it is nice to light a fire, when it’s cold outside, or sit by the pool with a book, when it’s hot. I used to love to play golf when it was hot now, not so much. I still love golf just when the temp is below say 90.
As I look back over the last ten years I can count more blessing than anything else. It is humbling to see what has been given to me. The people who keep my work, my family, my life and basically me going are a constant source of blessing and fulfillment. I don’t want to sound strange but my entire life has been blessed for more than 10 years.
So as we entire another Decade may your life be like mine, if that is what you want, happiness and joy. And hopefully to good lord will give me the grace to pass along as many of the blessing he sends me as I possible can.
Have a blessed 2010 I kind of know mine is going to be hopefully yours will be too.
Black-eyed peas and turnip greens for me, I wonder what goes better with Turnip Green, Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc??? Let’s just open one of each after all we are blessed!!!!
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