Love

I never dreamed this late in my life I would be this deeply in love. I can remember watching my Dad, Bill, and Mother, Billie, interact. He loved her beyond measure. I can remember all of the little things he did for her. From bringing home a small dog in his jacket. To the family tradition of her getting a gift from her birthday December 17th to Christmas day! I also remember we could not put up the Christmas tree until after her birthday. He never lost sight of her and always showed her she was the most important thing in his life. I tell you this because I have been blessed to find my Billie.

I was married for nineteen years to a woman who I thought I loved. No, I did love her, but not like Bill loved Billie. I took care of her and my son as best I could. Didn’t disrespect her and tried to make her happy. Turns out I couldn’t make the last one happen so she left. I still took care of her and my son until he turned legal age. So I am not a dead beat Dad or anything.
Then one day I met this angel from heaven above. She had on a green Madres plaid shirt and white jeans standing in the front of a classroom where I worked. She was new to the newly formed department and was working on the other side of the area. I was struck by her. Well 15 years later I am still struck by her. I have never been so happy. We are so compatible. She does all of the hard stuff and I do all of the easy stuff! How blessed can a man be?
With valentines being last weekend I started thinking about my folks again. This was our most unusual Valentines in our 15 years history. She was sick as a dog, stayed in bed the entire weekend. But it was still special because I was with her. Funny how when it is right it really doesn’t matter what you are doing as long as you are happy with the person you are doing it with. I never dreamed at this point in my life I would be this happy. I can remember my folks at my age. I am not sure my dad was ever a happy man. He took life and his responsibilities of husband, father and provider so seriously. I rarely saw him laugh or simply let his hair down and have some fun. I am sure he and my Mom had fun maybe it was just after all of us got out of their hair. I can remember we had to be in bed at 8:30. I still can smell the pot of coffee my Mom would make at bed time so her and Dad could sit at the kitchen table and talk about who to pay and who to put off. About what we had done that day, or whatever was on my Dads mind. I guess maybe this was their time. Didn’t seem like fun to me, but they seemed to look forward to it and enjoy being together.

Well my valentine has just retired from her job. I cannot wait until she is home for a while. I doubt if we ever sit around the kitchen table drinking coffee. However, I can see us sitting on the couch with a wonderful glass of wine! I can’t wait for the rest of my life with her. She makes me smile, and I love her madly!

I hope your valentine makes you as happy as mine. If so tell them you love them every day and always kiss them good bye and good night.

Well let me go pick out tonight wine for a little couch time. It might be cold so I think cabernet is the best choice.

Aging

Well today is the day I no longer have a teenager! That’s correct my son turns 20 today. As I reflect back on the passed 20 years. The first thing I can say is they that have pasted, like posts on a picket fence at 75 M.P.H... I might add that they were not all joyous either. But then there are those moments that steal your breath away. The first time I looked him in the eye and he looked back and seemed, in my mind, to know me. The first time he said Daddy. The first time he left for school, and didn’t cry. The first time he scored on the basketball team. The day he was made an airman in the USAF. Place your on special moment in time in here anywhere.

Then there was the time he was sitting in the doorway and telling me he hated me and there was no doubt he meant it. That is the most hurtful moment in my life to this point and if you read this Blog you know I have lost both my parents, whom I loved dearly. The day I dropped him off at his Mom’s house to live for what I thought was forever. I cried all the way back home. Then the night he called me about wrecking his truck and almost killing a poor nurse on her way home from a long day at work. I will never forget how kind and understanding she was truly a gift from God. You can also place you hurtful time here as well.

I hung the phone up from him today and noticed his voice sounded different at 20. He was no longer a kid. I thought about this when he man Airman but he still had this twinge in his voice that made me think he still had a ways to go. Today that twinge was much harder to detect. We talked about how broke he is and how he isn’t sure how to make the ends meet. But he never once asked me to help just what did you do when you were like this? He told me his Mom told him about when we had the hard times and how I always made it. I thought she never noticed. We talked about the good times and the bad and a plan for him to make it till payday. I must admit I was a master at that exercise. We spoke of not going into debt aqnd just cutting bad on the Red Bulls and other BS he spends his money on. We agreed to disagree on a few things. I think that is the first time I have every not tried to impose my will on him!!

Wow looks like I might be aging as well.

Well Happy Birthday my boy your Dad loves you deeply.

Think I will go out to the cellar and pull a 1989 out and drink it in his honor.

Hug your kids they will be 20 before you know it, and if you are blessed they will be like mine.

Blessed

Funny how this word is in the name of the Blog yet I have never used it as a post subject. Well here we go. I go to church at Hope. The pastor there is a pretty cool guy who really seems to have a grip on what is important. Now before you stop reading I am not trying to convert you, it is important to the body of the post, but if you are looking there is always Hope! His name is, Craig Strickland, the current sermon series is about IT. What is it that really has a hold of you? Worry was last week topic. Well I did a little accessing and I am so blessed, I really have no worries. Have a good job in a good industry we are not recession proof, but we do ok in good times and bad. I work with more good people than bad. I have stated here numerous times have a stable of friends that no one deserves. My health seems to be OK I go for the annual finger wave and bloodletting on the 18th of February. So as I write this I am better than many people in this city.

What about you? I would imagine you could think of a lot of things to worry about. Someone I love very much once told me that worry is the opposite of faith, what a concept. I guess the gist of this post is to try to get everyone to look for the positive in all things we hear so much negative just turn of the news. They never lead with something positive. Like they say if it bleeds it leads. What if we just had one good story a newscast something that made you feel like there is hope for us all? You know a feel good story, maybe not a full fledged Oprah story but, something up lifting. I do not know if you watch it, but I try to never miss it, a show called Sunday Morning on CBS around 9am on Sunday morning, imagine that!! They always seem to find one story to make you feel good about either yourself or someone on the show.

So there you have it we are all blessed it is all about attitude. Maybe that will be the next word Attitude.

Well I am off to The Madison Hotel for a wine dinner. Like I said, I am blessed and I hope you are too.

, I am being chauffeured tonight so maybe a Jamieson and ice for the ride downtown nice and warming

NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE that would be stupid and that is another topic all together!!!

Fear

You would think that after 50+ years on this planet I would not be afraid of too much. I have a good job, stable marriage, and a overall blessed life. There is one subject where I tread fearfully, my son. I wonder if my father ever had fears about me or my decisions. Another time I wish he were here. Seems like the older my son gets the more fearful the choices get. As you all know he was an Air force Special Forces guy. Notice the word was in the previous sentence! He has decided he wants to be a corpsman/Medic. The Air Force doesn’t have those guys so he arranged for an honorable discharge from the Air force and has applied, and be accepted, for a school in San Antonio that will give him the credentials for a EMT. Then he will enlist into the Army and become a corpsman/Medic and be attached to an Army Ranger unit due to his prior service as an Air force special Ops service. Do you see anything in the over scenario to be fearful of? I don’t know, maybe the words Middle East might come up. Or American infidel I think is the term. He keeps telling me not to worry but I do.

I wonder if my Father ever worried about me. If he did he never showed it. It was always “your grown make you choice and deal with it.” I did, and I did. I wonder what it would have been like if he would have showed a little more concern. Would I have made all of those terrible choices? Like trading my 1966 Convertible Mustang for a 1955 Chevy that barley ran!!! Wow that could have been the biggest thing I ever messed up!! But Dad just sat on the couch in his underwear and called me the dumbest SOB he had ever seen. I was determined to make sure that Chevy was better than that old Mustang. I did in my mind, but never his. I realize now that as tough as it might have been for him to allow me to truly screw the pooch, it was the best thing for me. I try to allow my son this freedom but something always kicks in and I give my opinion or advice or in some way try to soften the blow or take away the lesson. I think I have hurt him more than helped him in some cases. I have a dear friend who refuses to allow their son to fall of experience any difficulty in life. I have spoken to them about this and have even when as far to inquire about how their father or Mother would have handle the situation to show them they are doing nothing but hurting this child. Child my ass the kid is 23 now, and clueless about life. I asked my friend what happens if you disappear. The family is well off and I am sure this child will be fine for the short term. However, what happens when the money runs out and they must make it on their own.

I am pretty sure mine can make it on his own. Not that he likes it but one thing I have going for me is he loves the freedom. He was thinking of returning home during this transition period. We spoke about it briefly. I told him he was welcome, but that our house rules would be back in affect. He said he understood and that was “cool”. Well low and behold about 2 weeks later there was a plan hatched where he could stay in San Antonio and make it just fine!!! Got to love it maybe my Dad would be proud, you think?

Well lord knows I love my family all of them. Well I guess after writing this and rereading it I really have nothing to fear but fear itself. My wife always tells me that fear is the opposite of faith. I like that. I will have faith the good Lord will watch after my son today, tomorrow, and forever. I feel better now.

Getting cold outside maybe a nice Scotch and a fire would be just the right thing. Got a new cooking magazine in the mail today plus, I need to lay out the garden for next year. Looks like I’m in for the evening. Hope you are as blessed as I am and always will to be.

New Years

As I sit here thinking about the next week and how in the world I am going to complete my business I am wondering what 2009 will bring. I have a very good friend who makes his living in a business filled with risk and he says “If you not risking you’re not in the game”. I am sure I am in the game but not too sure if I like it! I think I would just like to retire. My current business depends greatly on the last quarter of the year and as anyone knows, that is not a supplier; the last quarter of this year has sucked!!! Why is it people who are suppliers always think the economy has nothing to do with the sale of their product it is all tied to your performance!! CRAZY

Well as I look back at 2008 it really hasn’t been too bad for this blessed man. My son has entered another phase of his life. My lovely wife still loves me. This is as unexplainable as the Lady Bugs ability to predict the severity of the upcoming winter’s weather. If you do not know what that is you need to watch more science channel!! I have my health although my knees do give me fits at times.

2008 was not all good either. I lost my dear Mother, the woman who was there for me every time in my life I needed her. I lost a couple of very dear friends. Lamar Alexander the guy who showed me how to laugh and live care free. Uncle Johnny the guy who taught me what a wonderful thing lunch could be when you just talk, visit and remember the old days. When you reach my age you should savor every chance you have to be with family and friends. As I get ready for New Years Eve I will make a promise to myself to try to do just that!

I plan on bringing in 2009 with 27 of my closest friends!! What a wonderful time can see midnight already. I have done this for the past 5 years. Everyone kissing and telling each other how much they love one another. A scene one wishes could last forever but soon everyone gets their things and starts out trying to get home before the crazies get on the road. Thank the lord we all live within 3 miles of each other. I will be home around 12:15 and in bed by 12:30 if I am blessed. And tomorrow it is football and then Friday it starts all over again. I can’t wait until I can sleep late and then get up and not have anything to do except what I want to all day. I think deep down we all strive for that, even my friend who risks everything daily. He says he loves what he does but I bet deep down inside he would love to just take his dog out to his farm and goof off all day. I know I would…

Here is wishing you and yours the best year of your life in 2009.

Happy New Year and pass me the Rose Champagne!!!!

Character

My dad once told me to always have character, never be one. After spending 3 days with my young son I am wondering how to relay this life lesson to him. He has become addicted to the Television show called House. I watched this show the other night and now realize my son has serious mental issues! He has even gone as far as to get the cane this clown carries. If you have never seen the show here it is in a nutshell. This brilliant Doctor is the biggest asshole on the planet. He demeans everyone he comes into contact with, socially unacceptable and rude would be an understatement as a descriptor for Dr. House. This is a guy, who in real life, would get punched out at any social event he ever attended. My young son thinks he is Dr. House. He had the gall to look me in the eye at dinner the other night and tell me he was smarter than 85% of the people on earth! What an asshole right? Now he is and has always been a smart young man. 26 on the A.C.T. the first time he took it; graduated number one in his class in the Air Force Special Forces as well. But I think 85% is not even in the ballpark, if you get my drift. He has been tested, and has a very good I.Q. but better than 85% I just am not sure.

He answers questions now with these ridicules philosophical retorts. He tells me now that he should be happy, with which I agree. Then he finished the sentence, I cannot stand stupidity so I point it out at every occasion. What do you tell a kid like this? As I told him when we had this surreal conversation the other night you will die a lonely man my young son. He said he didn’t care as long as he didn’t have to put up with stupid people. WOW think about that statement as it applies to your life. What would it be like to not have to deal with someone you perceived as dumb? That person at the check out that doesn’t have the checkbook out until the clerk says how much the purchase is, the one who is talking on the cell phone when the red light changes and sits there until someone blows the horn at them then they get all pissed off! And I am sure you could insert several others. But really they are not stupid, they are not engaged, paying attention call it what you will but stupid I think not. They found the store didn’t they, they passed the driver’s test hopefully. They are simply not paying attention. I am sure you have never had the horn blown at you at a red light correct?

Well back to Dr. House. My son is a very talented writer. At his young age he already has written a novel! And I must to tell you a few friends have read it including a published author and he says it is rough but very good for a first attempt. So I think I am going to try to write him a letter and explain my point of view. I know talking only pisses me off. He goes in character and I lose him. Maybe if I take the opportunity to act away and make him read it I will open his eyes.

As my grandfather told me one time “Character is what you do when no one is looking.” So I am going to write my Character and see if I can’t open his eyes.

Well I am off to a friend’s house. Maybe some Short Ribs and red wine will make me feel better. Always remember have Character don’t be one!!!

Perception

I work in a very diverse business, more so than most. There are places in my business that do millions and then there are places that do hundreds. So as you can see there are large difference in each individual accounts. I have a number of salespeople who call on all of these accounts. I happened to be with one this afternoon who has more hundreds, a few thousands and no millions. We spent the day in places that were strange to me. This salesman was wonderful. I have committed to him and me to really work hard to get all of his stores at the very least to the thousands. What struck me was I had a perception that today was going to be horrible. What a shock. I had a blast. We helped one account move some equipment. Then we went to another, there we built several things a deck, an addition on a house, and hung crown molding. Not really but in talking. We arrived at our next stop only to find out someone who worked there had gone to an ATM machine and got 3 counterfeit twenty dollar bills, from an ATM!!! Want to know another shocker we sold our product in every single store. In quantities that were not normal for this sales person. As we went from place to place, there became one common comment. We will do whatever, my salesman, needed. These people really liked and appreciated the fact my salesman comes to see them. It was almost like they have a perception of unimportance and are so glad my company actually has a person come to them they would do anything to make the sales person look good in front of, what the salesman told them, was his boss. I do not consider myself a Boss, I am, and have always been a great team player.

Strange how we have all of these perceptions of different things, people, cities, and just about anything we know very little about. Thank God for days like today. They keep me grounded and hopefully a little more open minded than most. If you take off the blinders and go without fear with a great attitude you too can have wonderful days like I had today. Here is wishing you nothing but wonderful open minded days.

I think I will cap off a wonderful day with a wonderful glass of wine.

Here’s to you..