I have mentioned my Mother here on numerous occasions. With the recent passing of Mothers Day and my experience in church this morning I felt I needed another one about my Mother.
I, like everyone on the planet with a heart, thought about, and missed, my Mother deeply last weekend. I was blessed to be with my family and we celebrated the Mothers who were with us and, I hope properly, remembered the ones who are no longer here. I can remember many great things about my mother. How she taught me to love unconditionally and how sometimes you will get hurt; however, there are the times that this type of love puts you into a situation that simply takes your breath away. I have experienced both things in my life. And she was correct. Love with reckless abandon the good times truly out weight the bad.
As we stood in church this morning, the congregation singing here favorite song. I was taken back to that church she literally drug me to every Sunday and Wednesday evening. I saw her standing next to me, her very best dress on singing in her pseudo alto voice trying her best to make sure she sounded perfect. I never knew what a beautiful voice that was until it is no longer here for me to hear. I wished she had been there this morning to sing with the group. It would have been the sweetest thing my old ears had ever heard. Somehow I know she was there singing her heart out I could almost hear it. Well as I stood there fighting back the tears, as I am now, I thought of all of the things she has given me and wondered, almost aloud, if I had ever thanked her for them.
She taught me to always tell the truth. I can hear her now “if you always tell the truth the stories are always so much easier to remember.” Wow was she ever correct. I can remember a couple of times in my life when I made a decision the stray from this advice and it has always cost me a small piece of my character. A very high price to pay for a moment of uncomfortablity, I promise you.
She taught me to cook. The joy and the goods times I have had either, around a campfire or a stove cooking have been the shaping moments of my life. I have met more great people and done what little in my life might be called good while cooking for either me or others. Cooking is a huge part of my life.
She taught me to be forgiving. I can remember times in my life when people have dealt me a devastating blow. Others might have made it their lives goal to see the perpetrators brought to some form of revenge or justice. I simply forgave them, and moved on with my life. And because of that, I have found a life I could have only dreamed of. The perpetrators; all have had tremendous tragedy in their lives. Was I glad to see it, absolutely not. Is it the old as my mother said “What comes around goes around” No doubt about it.
She taught me how to laugh. I have spent the better part of my life laughing. If laughter is the best medicine I will never be sick. I try my best to laugh out loud at least one time every day. I can remember we laughed to a point my dad would worry about us. I looked forward to every Saturday of my life. That was the day my mother and I would go to the store. Fred Montesi’s; we would spend hours in that store shopping and looking at all of the new stuff. We would always sneak off, or so we thought, and get something to eat and sit there and laugh like we were kids. My then wife and dad thought we were as they said “touched in the head”. But something told me they were always jealous we didn’t take them along. Sadly they didn’t know how to laugh and mother and I did and we did at every opportunity. I can remember one evening my best friend was leaving the house. I told my mother he was leaving and she needed to tell him good bye. She said, she was not going to do that. I calmly walked into the kitchen picked her up walked out onto the front porch and told her to tell him good bye. She, very sarcastically, said GOOD BYE!! I then dropped her into the boxwood bushes in front of the house and came back inside. She was laughing lying in those bushes I was laughing laying in the living room floor and my dad was looking at me like I had lost my mind. We laughed about that one thing up until the time she died. My friend, who I still have lunch with once a week, remembers it as well. That was my mother. Thanks Mom for all of the life lessons know I missed a few but I think I got the big ones.
As I sit here and write this I also wonder what I am passing on to the next generation. What example am I setting? Does my son have anything to remember like I do? Will his memories be all dark and coldly because of our relationship? Have there been good times for him? As I sit here and try to think I am not sure. What an embarrassment from my stand point. Where is the disconnect? When did family stop being fun and start being a job? Was it when we,(that being my generation), started trying to make sure our little angels didn’t fall and hurt their knees, and that everyone gets a trophy even if they suck. My son didn’t have to cut yards to make money. I am just glad I grew up where I did and with whom I did.
Well Mom I miss you. I miss you every time I walk into a grocery store. Every time I hear one of those songs you loved to sing in church. Every time I stand in front of my stove or over a grill and smell the wonderful aromas and wish you were here to tell me what it needed. Happy belated mother day my angel I know dad got you something special.
Well I guess I had better start thinking about dinner tonight that should cheer me up. Something country sounds like the ticket. Think I will see if my son is free tonight. Maybe it is not too late to start making a few memories.
The Blessed Man