As I have written here, the purpose of this blog is to try to explain how blessed I am. Rarely when I sit to write do I not have the word for the post. That is the case here. I will simply relate my story, and then try to name it.
We were out to dinner recently with friends. He a very successful businessman, she runs the household business. They are truly givers, not only to their friends which I am a receiver of at times, but also to the community as a whole. They have 3 fine children, all are upstanding grownups who are fully involved in their own lives and still have a strong sense of family.
As an example of the family instincts that run through this family, a brief story before the real story. The middle daughter is married to a fine young man. His parents are only children and the daughter’s husband is an only child. Not a lot of family to get together. Well my friends have now adopted them and all of the traditional family holidays are spent at my friend’s house as if all were related by blood. My friend’s son is married to a beautiful young lady; they have just recently had the family’s first granddaughter. Now they are expecting the second granddaughter! Every Sunday is family dinner at my friend’s house. Everyone comes and they simply enjoy each other’s company, starting the week off with the wonderful support and love of family. Needless to say, these are special people.
Now to the real reason for the post; we were having dinner the other night and I could tell my friends wife was not her usual self. We asked if she was feeling well and she said not at all. Seems their son is moving away and they will be losing their granddaughter. They are not moving far. They are just out of the state. My friends tell us they can’t say anything about the move. All they are saying is how truly sadden they are that their son’s family is moving away taking their granddaughter from them. I sat there listening to these two people talking and started to understand the power of family. Can you imagine every Sunday for the last 11 months they have played with this wonderful baby and now their Sundays will have a big giant hole in them. I don’t want to take anything away from the other members of the family who will remain behind but I am telling you the Sunday evenings will not be the same. What is it about our kids, kids that make us turn to putty? As this is something that I have yet to experience so I have no clue. As I watched these two loving people talk about this situation you could feel the heart broken sadness in their voices. They held stiff upper lips and tried to make sure they supported their son’s decision to move but it was as clear as a bell that they didn’t want that baby moving. Now I will mention the kicker of the story. The son’s, wife’s family; Yep, they live where the couple is moving!
Here is where I think I have even more respect for my friends. They didn’t one time even mention that might be a factor. What class. How easy would this be to just heap blame on the daughter-in-law for moving but not even a peep. They just talked as if it was something that needed to happen and they would just start trying to get back and forth whenever possible to be with their little angel from heaven above.
As my friend’s wife sat there at the dinner table telling us about the baby moving she shared she felt like she was losing her grandbaby. What must that feel like? For the last 11 months every time his son wanted to go out or do anything I feel pretty confident that they simply called and they had a babysitter for free, a babysitter that would gladly keep that baby over night and even for weekends or whenever was needed. Now do you think you could get attached to something you kept like that? I think that is an understatement, at the very least judging from my friend’s comments.
Well there you have the situation. What is the word you title this? Grief? Snatched? Abandonment? Crushed? Heartbroken? Devastated?
Not sure what I’m going to call it. I just know that there is a tie that binds families together and that tie is stronger than anything I have yet to see or feel. I know if I lost a member of my Memphis family to a move I would be devastated. It would change my entire mental outlook. It would affect every facet of my life, from my work, to my social life, to my sanity.
I am sure my friends will be just fine. This is a simply bump in the road. Besides, they still have 2 daughters in town and the Sunday dinners will still happen. The only thing missing will be the pitter patter of little feet. A sweeter sound I am sure my friends have never heard. And silence like none other as well.
The Blessed Man