Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Year 2013

WOW! Where does the time go?  It seems like a month ago I was ringing in 2012.  I can remember my Dad telling me the older you get the faster times flies and man was he correct.

What was 2012 for you?  Was it great, sad, happy, crazy or all of the above?  As I look back it was a year of change.  I left my secure job of 17 years and moved to another city.  That is scary if you have never done it.  I left some of the most important people in my life behind.  Even scarier.  I have branched out on my own for the first time as well.  Scarier still.  And during every phase of this the one rock I have had to hold onto is my darling wife.  She has been there at every turn with nothing but support and unconditional love for me and our situations.

2012 also brought a slight peace to me about my son.  If you have read one post here more than likely it had something to do with him.  Well in 2012 I decided I had done all I can do.  If he doesn’t want me in his life then he gets what he wants.  I can’t imagine my life without my Father during the years he is living right now.  My dad was a wealth of information and advice that kept me from even more pain and suffering than I brought on myself.  However as much as I try my son will do whatever in his power to make sure he defies anything I stand for or suggest.  So I have removed myself from his world and allowed him to do and be whatever it is he wants.  Hard?  You bet.  Necessary?  Absolutely…

2012 took me away from my Memphis family.  This was the hardest thing I have ever done and am still battling it every day.  These people have taken me in and supported me loved me made me a part of something that was so much bigger than anything I have ever been a part of.  My Adopted Sister whom I speak of often in this blog is my greatest lost.  You never understand how much someone means to you until that person is gone.  I find myself reaching for the phone to call her or thinking about dinner plans with them only to realize the harsh reality that they aren’t here.  I can’t tell you how much I miss our dinners, birthday parties, or impromptu togethers, the fake arguments, the always picking at her that I do.  It was a huge part of my life and I never realized how important that was to my happiness and sanity.  Let it be known I miss her madly.

2012 brought new members as well babies Eden and Jade were born to the most loving family I have ever seen.  They will be loved and cared for unlike any other children I know.

2012 also brought a new frame of mind for me as well I think.  As I get closer to the retirement stage of my life I always thought I would be fearful or getting older. Even as we speak now I have just returned from the doctor’s office which I go to now with greater regularity than ever.  Yet I am unafraid and understand you can’t live like I have for 58 years and not need a tune up every now and then.

So what will 2013 bring?

For me only happiness is allowed in 2013.  I was once told the only thing you can pick is your attitude.  In 2013 I choose only a good one.  I pledge to be a kinder gentler Blessed Man this year.  I also choose to be a better husband to the woman who put up with all of my trails in 2012.  I also choose to be a better adopted brother and not fight so much with my older sister!!!!  Even if she is really younger…..I also choose to allow my son the room to be himself even if I can’t stand the thought of it.  And lastly I choose to live every day to the fullest taking time to smell the roses.  I will go through 2013 like a dog with its head out the window.  Face in the wind and wildly happy.  So roll down that window I am getting in your lap and we are going on a 12 month drive 2013…
May 2013 see the answer to any of your problems solved.  May it bring you peace and happiness to your heart.  Here’s to a wonderful 2013 for us all, after all we weren’t even supposed to be here according to the Mayan’s….


The Blessed Man

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