Well it has happened my dream has come true, so to speak. My son just left for the next chapter in his life, in a far away state. He pulled away from our house, car loaded to the gills, and Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance blaring!! What a picture. One I am sure I will not soon forget.
I wished him luck and told him he could be anything he wanted to be and whatever that became I would be proud of. Don’t know if it meant anything but I felt like it was the right thing to say at that moment.
So it begins; the journey which has been funded by my wife and me with an infusion to get him there and feed him maybe a week. He left talking about opening his own restaurant with his chef buddy down there. Wow to be 22 again! All I think about now is how can I retire. But that’s what 35 years will do to you for sure! I am excited in a way to see exactly how he is going to react to being on his own. I remember the first night I spent in my own apartment and thinking this was the coolest thing ever. Then in 3 weeks the rent came due, then the light gas and water bill. Then the phone bill, car insurance, well you get the picture but that is the last thing you think of when you are enjoying you success over the world for that first brief and, please pardon the word, stupid moment before reality sets in. I wish him that feeling when he gets to his destination.
I guess in reality I have been the gate keeper in his life for entirely too long. He has tried everything to get out of the pen. Now I simply opened the gate. I had a dear friend send me something the other night after I showed my ass at the dinner table. It went something like this. You cannot stand in front of someone and stop them from living their journey. You must step aside and allow them to go and live their life. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was standing in front of the gate and this boy/man has been trying to get out for a long time. Now I think he enjoyed the safety net for sure and doesn’t yet understand it is gone. But none the less I was keeping him from his journey. Well he is on it now and I wish him luck. I, like everyone other father will one day do, now stand back and let this man go into the world for the lesson that are taught there. They are always hard and painful but so important. The things that do not kill you make you stronger and I have a feeling I have just turned, what will be, a very strong man out into a very unsuspecting world!
So I am telling you all he is on the loose and traveling about with his own mind and ideas. Teach him what you have taught me. Family is first. Friends are your life. Children hurt you more than anything or anyone else in the world. As a sidebar; I will never forget when my mother held my son for the first time she was looking at him with a look only a grandmother can have. I asked you don’t love that baby very much huh? She smiled handed him back to me and said these words that have never rang truer than at this moment in my life. “That little thing right there will bring you more joy than you will ever know and can hurt you more than anything or anyone else in your life. Welcome to my world” As I sat there holding this tiny little child I looked down and tried to think of the times I had hurt my mother and of course nothing came to mind. I simply could always remember the happiness and love she had for me and I her. I am sure she spent many a night hurting because of something stupid I did but never did she mention it, WOW. That’s unconditional love. I guess now I just hope one day I can forget all of the hurt he has caused me and only remember the good times, like my mother did for me. Talk about a mother love, man!!
Well you have been warned! I have given notice he is on the way and ready for whatever comes his way. Teach him well and allow him to become a man we will all be proud of.
Good Luck my son. And as they say in Ireland “He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.”
The Blessed Man