Friday, December 3, 2010


What a word. What does it evoke to you, money, happiness, fame, security? I write about what it means to me here. There are many perspectives of a blessing. I have sat back and watched one of late. I am not too sure the person traveling the road thinks it’s a blessing, but I can promise her it is. How can I do that? I have walked the exact same road.

The road we walk, watching a loving parent slowing go to heaven, if that’s how you believe. And I believe it to be that way so that’s how I think. You see one time I tried to tell her she was blessed and she nodded and said thanks but I do not think she ever believed it. And you know I am sure if someone told me that I didn’t believe it either. When you are in the middle of it all you are so consumed by your feelings you do not have the time to recognize you blessing. What a privilege it was to walk with my Father to heaven’s door. I was the last person to talk to him before he went to joint his Mother, Father, sister and brother. I was the person who turned him over, lovingly to them, and knew in my heart the night they were going to take him and let me become a man. My sister was blessed to do the same with my mother. We have talked since my mother’s death and she understands how special it was to be there and take mother back to Dad and be the one to make sure she arrived safely.

Well the time for my extended family member to do the same came today. They, as a family, walked to heaven’s gate and lovingly turned their Father and Husband over to a better place. What a blessing to be able to be the ones to make this journey, knowing in your heart that your loved one got there safely because you were there to hand them over. What a spectacular act of love and caring. Wow almost overwhelming when you think about it.

As I look back at the time when we lost my Dad it was really hard on everyone but me. I believe in my heart of hearts that the reason is because I was there and knew he was safe. My sisters really took it hard and I could never understand that because we all knew he was sick, we all knew he was going to die. They just seemed to believe it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. I can remember calling my sisters and each one almost falling apart when I told them he was gone almost as if they never knew he was ill. My Mother took it hard but she had just lost her life partner of almost 35 years so she gets a pass.

I can’t wait to talk to my family member in a couple of months when she has had a little time to forget the bad days of hospitals and illness and her Father not being able to recognize her or her new born son. She will one day be thinking about her dad and it will hit her like a ton of bricks how blessed she truly was to be able to be there to support not only her mother but more importantly her father as he went through this world and into a better place. I often think about my father on special occasions and know he is there in spirit. As we sat for Thanksgiving dinner last week both he and my mom were here and so was the succotash and roasted Turkey they so loved. After the meal, just like we used to do, we all sat around a TV and watched football and thought about lunch the next day of turkey sandwiches and warmed up dressing. Did I miss them? More than you will ever know. Was it good to have them here even if it was just in spirit? Absolutely!

So as we head down the holiday road to Christmas I can only hope one of the presents my darling angel receives this year is the knowledge of what a blessing she was given to be able to be with her Father to the very end. He knew she was there. He knew little Jaxx Ellis when he touched him. And he will be there this Christmas, and every other Christmas, until she is blessed to go to be with him in that better place. One thing I can promise will happen when he meets her there is: He will give her a huge hug and thank her for taking care of him, and bringing little Jaxx Ellis to see him before he went to heaven.

So as we approach Christmas let’s all count our blessing and reach out to family and friends and make sure they all know how much they mean to us. My wish for you is to never get a call in the middle of the night and a voice on the other end tell you, you have just lost someone dear to you, that you didn’t get to say good bye too.

What a blessing to be able to take care of your goodbyes while they are still here.

Happy Holidays and Peace,

The Blessed Man

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