As a regular reader of this blog you already know I have huge issues with my son. In fact, I use this venue as a venting spot or maybe just as a talk out loud spot to try to make sense of the things he says and does. I understand that times are a changing as they say. I also understand that it is in every parents DNA to want better and an easier road for their children. Where the disconnect comes for me is when the two collide, and the child is all of a sudden expecting the bale out. My son recently said to me “I’m your son you had me it’s your responsibility to make sure I’m taken care of”. I also came unglued. This is out of the mouth of a 21 year old veteran of our United States military system telling me he can’t get things done so it’s suddenly my job to do his job! I don’t understand.
All I have to go from is my life experiences. My parents, whom I have written about here at great length, I think wanted what was best for me. I feel like I was taken care of and provided all of the things I needed to get to where I am today. I have a wonderful wife, a nice house, and more friends than one man should have. I have a good job; I am reasonably successful in my field. I go to Church on Sunday and even do a little charity work to try to make the world a better place. So I think my parents would be proud of their son. In the same “talk” when he told me I was responsible for his care. He also told me “That my father was not a good Dad” it’s been over 6 years since I have put my hands on my son; this was a close as I have come in that time. He knew he stepped over the boundary and tried to explain it away as if I was taking what he said out of context. Give me a break. I can only strive to have the strong will my father had with me. He was firm and always stood his ground and never said anything he didn’t back up. Me on the other hand have made false threats, said things I was going to do and never followed through which I truly think has hurt my son in his journey in life. Wow, I guess you can add always trying to take up for him, and his foolishness, as I am doing right now. There are kids in this city right now who do not have fathers who are further along than my son. So where is the disconnect?
Why do I suddenly take on my son’s train of thought? Where are my father’s lessons of sink or swim? Did they have such an effect on me that I am not willing to allow my son learn that life is not fare. What is the end product of not allowing him to fail? What happens to him when it’s really on the line and I’m not around to “take responsibility for him”? I think the parents of my generation had it right. As I look back they understood that the time to fail is when you are young. You bounce back a lot quicker. Take a look around you as we speak. There are a lot of people who have been hit hard by either the economy or life in general. It takes longer to get back the older you are. So as a young man when I quit my really good job thinking I was going back to school, only to register and go for about a month and then realize that it takes money to live on. It was much easier for me to go out get a job and understand I’m not a college guy. I’m a life lesson guy. Maybe that was my first one really!
I did a test this past week. We had another “talk” where we disagreed on his take on a situation and so we parted ways on rough terms. I need to interject here that he always asked for advice. I give it. Then he proceeds to tell me how it is flawed!!! I told my wife I was not going to call him and asked her how long before I hear from him. She said, maybe 2 days. I told her I would hear from him when he needed something. It was four days. He needed me to do something for him. And the killing part was, he acted like all was cool, as if we were close, on great terms, and nothing had happened earlier. I guess we were. I did what he needed.
As I write this it becomes extraordinarily clear that I truly might be the issue. But then how do you simply abandon your child? I do not understand. Maybe abandon is a serve word. How do you teach your child to stand on his own two feet and when life deals them lemons, they must learn how to make lemonade, even if you don’t have sugar? As you can see I still have no understanding of any of this but, as predicted, I do feel better about it.
This is when I miss my Dad the most. What a blessing it would be to be able to call him and say please help me understand what the hell your grandson is thinking. One thing I know, he would not solve my problem, but I promise he would have something to say that would lead me to the solution. I miss you Dad. If your parents are still alive call them right now, while you can.
Well the family is here tonight for dinner better get the chicken brining. Thanks for listening and I sure hope they have internet in heaven. Maybe my Mom and Dad will understand how much I miss them and more over how much I still need them.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Gone
I had the great pleasure of having dinner the other night with my Memphis Family. Seems like every post starts like that but this was different. As you remember we have been battling Breast Cancer in the family with one of our members. Well she got the OK that it’s gone and she is on the road to a full recovery!! Can you say answer to a lot of prays, Amen? As we went through his ordeal all of us had her at the very for front of our thoughts and prays. This woman has been a pillar of strength and the picture of positive attitude at least on the outside, through this entire episode.
But the rock has been her husband, you remember the guy that taught me the lesson in another post, Lesson? He has been there always standing just behind her in case she needed him to lean on. Ever in the moment and always with her way out in front of his every action. May the good lord never let me walk this road he has been down but if I am given the task, may he let me walk it in the same way my friend walked it. Head high eyes clear always focused on the fact that they were going to beat this and be better for it.
You know as I sat there the other night watching them they are different. There was never a doubt they were close. Always there together, you could feel the love and respect they have for one another. But now there is something that is so much deeper. The fact that together, they have made it to the other side has drawn them closer than the normal couple who have been together north of 30 years. There is a way he looks at her now and you can actually feel the kindness pour out of his eyes. She looks back at him and you can feel the tenderness returning to him. It is something I hope one day people can say about me and my lovely wife. I am guessing when you think you might lose the person that makes your world go round you get right with them very quickly. Then when God gives them back to you there is a love so deep that it can move mountains and cure diseases. May we all have this love in our lives; I just hope you do not have to swim the rough water of pain and heartbreak to get there.
Whatever it is they have it. I am proud to call them both members of my Memphis Family. All families go through tuff times. The best ones emerge stronger and closer. I am proud to be a member of a strong and close family. I wish the same for each of you.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
But the rock has been her husband, you remember the guy that taught me the lesson in another post, Lesson? He has been there always standing just behind her in case she needed him to lean on. Ever in the moment and always with her way out in front of his every action. May the good lord never let me walk this road he has been down but if I am given the task, may he let me walk it in the same way my friend walked it. Head high eyes clear always focused on the fact that they were going to beat this and be better for it.
You know as I sat there the other night watching them they are different. There was never a doubt they were close. Always there together, you could feel the love and respect they have for one another. But now there is something that is so much deeper. The fact that together, they have made it to the other side has drawn them closer than the normal couple who have been together north of 30 years. There is a way he looks at her now and you can actually feel the kindness pour out of his eyes. She looks back at him and you can feel the tenderness returning to him. It is something I hope one day people can say about me and my lovely wife. I am guessing when you think you might lose the person that makes your world go round you get right with them very quickly. Then when God gives them back to you there is a love so deep that it can move mountains and cure diseases. May we all have this love in our lives; I just hope you do not have to swim the rough water of pain and heartbreak to get there.
Whatever it is they have it. I am proud to call them both members of my Memphis Family. All families go through tuff times. The best ones emerge stronger and closer. I am proud to be a member of a strong and close family. I wish the same for each of you.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Friday, June 18, 2010
Icing
I often wonder why the good lord chose to make me wait until later in my life to find the members of my Memphis family. I think I would not have appreciated them nor enjoyed them as much in my earlier care free years. As you have read here on numerous occasions the wonderfully special times I have had with this very tight knit group. Well get ready here comes another one!
Last night was the 61st birthday of my good friend who heads up the faction of the family that includes my claimed sister, his wife. They are the ones who are expecting the first grandchild. Well last night at his birthday celebration they revealed the sex of the chosen one. It was very cool evening. The Grand Parents to be had asked each guest to dress in either Pink or Blue depending on your guess, as to the Baby’s gender. My wife, Mother-in-Law and I were all in the Blue camp. To be honest the blues outnumbered the pinks almost 2 to one. At any rate that was the gist of the gathering.
What makes this a special thing is how they did it. The ultrasound was a week ago. They asked the nurse to make sure neither of them was able to see the sex of the child. As the nurse neared the area of revealing she told all to look away. The father asked can you tell? She said yes. He says it’s a boy? She said you can tell boy, or girl so do not read anything into her comment she only said she could tell. Then she placed the gender on a card sealed it into an envelope and they took it to a bakery. The bakery then made the Fathers birthday cake. The kicker? The middle layer of icing was either going to be pink for the girl or blue for the boy. The cake was Chocolate with chocolate icing so the middle layer would not be revealed until they actually cut the cake. Pretty cool idea if I do say so myself.
The crowd was large and the menu was fried Catfish and French fries so the crowd ate kind of in shifts to make sure all got hot food. When everyone was full of catfish and anticipation it was time to cut the cake. But first they had Tone the Bone say a prayer. Well folks I’m telling you this prayer was something straight from the good lord himself. You have heard of the lord speaking through people, well this was the case. It was a moment I will carry to my grave. Here is an 82 year old man, praying for his Great Grandchild. Tone, a strong man not only in stature but in character his voice cracking and quivering with each heartfelt word. The parents-to-be holding hands, tears streaming from their eyes, the Grandparents-to-be shaking as they tried, to no avail, to hold back the tears. The entire room almost in a trace as Tony prayed for this special child. A joyous moment I am so blessed to have shared with everyone else in that wonderful prayer circle. After a prayer of this origin there is always that moment when everyone lets the joy of the moment simply sweep into their soul and memory banks to recalled for all time.
Well now we cut the cake. The knife has 4 hands on it the grandparents and the parents. The first slice comes out and the color BLUE, the room erupts, the parents embrace. Everyone is hugging everyone, a happier scene there could not have been in the country. And yes the old blessed man was right in the middle of it.
As I think now, I realize why I had to wait until later in life to get to become a part of this amazing group. These are the people that you get to the finish line with, from my amazing supportive wife, whom I met later, to my supportive and loving Memphis family. They all will make my trip to the finish line a smooth and loving experience. I would hope we all will be able to say that in the end. It was a very blessed time. The moments I share with this group only get more special. I can’t wait until the next time this group takes my breath. I promise you will hear about it.
Well I’m off to get ready for another wonderful evening, what a blessing. I hope we are together for another 30 years. Can you die from a joy and love overdose? If so, I think I will try…
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Last night was the 61st birthday of my good friend who heads up the faction of the family that includes my claimed sister, his wife. They are the ones who are expecting the first grandchild. Well last night at his birthday celebration they revealed the sex of the chosen one. It was very cool evening. The Grand Parents to be had asked each guest to dress in either Pink or Blue depending on your guess, as to the Baby’s gender. My wife, Mother-in-Law and I were all in the Blue camp. To be honest the blues outnumbered the pinks almost 2 to one. At any rate that was the gist of the gathering.
What makes this a special thing is how they did it. The ultrasound was a week ago. They asked the nurse to make sure neither of them was able to see the sex of the child. As the nurse neared the area of revealing she told all to look away. The father asked can you tell? She said yes. He says it’s a boy? She said you can tell boy, or girl so do not read anything into her comment she only said she could tell. Then she placed the gender on a card sealed it into an envelope and they took it to a bakery. The bakery then made the Fathers birthday cake. The kicker? The middle layer of icing was either going to be pink for the girl or blue for the boy. The cake was Chocolate with chocolate icing so the middle layer would not be revealed until they actually cut the cake. Pretty cool idea if I do say so myself.
The crowd was large and the menu was fried Catfish and French fries so the crowd ate kind of in shifts to make sure all got hot food. When everyone was full of catfish and anticipation it was time to cut the cake. But first they had Tone the Bone say a prayer. Well folks I’m telling you this prayer was something straight from the good lord himself. You have heard of the lord speaking through people, well this was the case. It was a moment I will carry to my grave. Here is an 82 year old man, praying for his Great Grandchild. Tone, a strong man not only in stature but in character his voice cracking and quivering with each heartfelt word. The parents-to-be holding hands, tears streaming from their eyes, the Grandparents-to-be shaking as they tried, to no avail, to hold back the tears. The entire room almost in a trace as Tony prayed for this special child. A joyous moment I am so blessed to have shared with everyone else in that wonderful prayer circle. After a prayer of this origin there is always that moment when everyone lets the joy of the moment simply sweep into their soul and memory banks to recalled for all time.
Well now we cut the cake. The knife has 4 hands on it the grandparents and the parents. The first slice comes out and the color BLUE, the room erupts, the parents embrace. Everyone is hugging everyone, a happier scene there could not have been in the country. And yes the old blessed man was right in the middle of it.
As I think now, I realize why I had to wait until later in life to get to become a part of this amazing group. These are the people that you get to the finish line with, from my amazing supportive wife, whom I met later, to my supportive and loving Memphis family. They all will make my trip to the finish line a smooth and loving experience. I would hope we all will be able to say that in the end. It was a very blessed time. The moments I share with this group only get more special. I can’t wait until the next time this group takes my breath. I promise you will hear about it.
Well I’m off to get ready for another wonderful evening, what a blessing. I hope we are together for another 30 years. Can you die from a joy and love overdose? If so, I think I will try…
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Retirement
I was talking to one of my best customers this morning and we got on the subject of retirement.. I told him the biggest mistake I had made in my life was the failure to put money back for this time in my life. He agreed and said that was his biggest mistake as well.
We all live crazy when we are young. If you have a dollar you spend a dollar and a half. My Father for all of the wonderful things he was, a financial planner and advisor he was not. He gave me lots of advice but not in this area. I was left to fend for myself. Much like sex education where no one really talked about it you were just expected to know. And much like sex education the advice you got was someone’s idea or guess and rarely a firsthand experience, please pardon the pun!
As we sat there this morning feeling sorry for ourselves, in our self made situations I began to wonder what can I do to help my son avoid the circumstance I now am living. I have tried to explain to him he needs to save at less one dollars of every ten he makes. He, being 21, loves the bars and eating out and chasing the ladies. The Apple didn’t fall from the tree I have been told. So how do I break the chain and make him understand how important today is for his tomorrow?
I have heard its not how you play, its how you finish. My son needs to finish. He is a smart young man and a real go getter. He is going to be successful I just know it. What is the advice to him? How do you stress the finish line? How much easier would it be to cross it when your 55 than when your 65?
I would like to tell you the story about my ex father in law. He was the man that cut the first grain deal with the Russians. He ran Cook Industries for a brief period of time. Then he went to a firm in Kansas City where he worked for 3 years and boom he was out at 49. He bought a small farm in the Ozark Mountains and has been there ever since. He has made it. But here is the real deal. I can remember my ex wife talking about how she grew up. They gave a new name to frugality. She said it was one piece of chicken and her parents always got the good pieces. Her mother made all of their clothes. The family had to give up a lot for him to arrive at the finish line. So here’s the $64,000 question; where is the middle ground? How do you save for the finish line and still live a full life getting there. Suddenly I feel like a teenage again talking about sex. Knowing what I want and also knowing there is no way to get it!
There must be a way, and I am sure my son will find it. I am also sure that I have no regrets now. Do I wish I had saved more, absolutely! Am I going to retire one day to my little piece of heaven, no question!
I guess at the end of the day it is still about the finish line. How do you want to finish? I want to finish being able to get along in retirement, and my son still thinking it was cool to grow up around me. Does that make me work a little longer? More than likely. Is that OK with me? You bet.
Well guess I had better get back to work I will never retire sitting here writing on this blog!!!
Peace
The Blessed Man
We all live crazy when we are young. If you have a dollar you spend a dollar and a half. My Father for all of the wonderful things he was, a financial planner and advisor he was not. He gave me lots of advice but not in this area. I was left to fend for myself. Much like sex education where no one really talked about it you were just expected to know. And much like sex education the advice you got was someone’s idea or guess and rarely a firsthand experience, please pardon the pun!
As we sat there this morning feeling sorry for ourselves, in our self made situations I began to wonder what can I do to help my son avoid the circumstance I now am living. I have tried to explain to him he needs to save at less one dollars of every ten he makes. He, being 21, loves the bars and eating out and chasing the ladies. The Apple didn’t fall from the tree I have been told. So how do I break the chain and make him understand how important today is for his tomorrow?
I have heard its not how you play, its how you finish. My son needs to finish. He is a smart young man and a real go getter. He is going to be successful I just know it. What is the advice to him? How do you stress the finish line? How much easier would it be to cross it when your 55 than when your 65?
I would like to tell you the story about my ex father in law. He was the man that cut the first grain deal with the Russians. He ran Cook Industries for a brief period of time. Then he went to a firm in Kansas City where he worked for 3 years and boom he was out at 49. He bought a small farm in the Ozark Mountains and has been there ever since. He has made it. But here is the real deal. I can remember my ex wife talking about how she grew up. They gave a new name to frugality. She said it was one piece of chicken and her parents always got the good pieces. Her mother made all of their clothes. The family had to give up a lot for him to arrive at the finish line. So here’s the $64,000 question; where is the middle ground? How do you save for the finish line and still live a full life getting there. Suddenly I feel like a teenage again talking about sex. Knowing what I want and also knowing there is no way to get it!
There must be a way, and I am sure my son will find it. I am also sure that I have no regrets now. Do I wish I had saved more, absolutely! Am I going to retire one day to my little piece of heaven, no question!
I guess at the end of the day it is still about the finish line. How do you want to finish? I want to finish being able to get along in retirement, and my son still thinking it was cool to grow up around me. Does that make me work a little longer? More than likely. Is that OK with me? You bet.
Well guess I had better get back to work I will never retire sitting here writing on this blog!!!
Peace
The Blessed Man
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Partner
When you see this word what comes to mind? In my life I have had many partners, some friends, other in business, and others in adventures that made lasting memories like in boy scouts. But this post is not about any of them. This post is about the most special partner I have, my wife.
I have written about almost everyone I’m close with except my wife. Yesterday, I realized that I had to rectify this at once.
It will be very hard for me to tell you about my partner. She is selfless, caring, forgiving, funny, true, loving, mean, beautiful, and helpful and a thousand other things I won’t mention. She is my rock. I can remember we were just starting out as a couple still in that feeling out stage. She often tells people that I was the thing that won’t go away!! I was called to the office; we worked together, and I was told I was being downsized out of the company. I will never forget going back to where she was and telling her. After the shock worn off she very calmly said we would be just fine. Then she told me the coolest thing. She said this time why don’t you do something you love. And you know what, I did, we have been living the life since that day.. That is an example of what a true partner does, when you are at rock bottom they are there to make sure you don’t miss the net.
Then there was the time my Mother came to visit. She was on kidney dialysis ever other day. She was right there to either take her or pick her up. She was also there to do the things I could not do, like give her a bath, fix her hair and in general take care of her. And she did this like it was her Mother. How many wives do you know that would make that sacrifice?
Then the largest sacrifice of all, my Son. She has always treated him as if he was hers. Now my son could never imagine a Mother treating their child like that but she always had his best interest at the core of every interaction they had and still does to this day. She told my son one day to call her son and ask him if this was how he was treated. He was afraid to because he knew the answer would have been; exactly!
Come forward to present day. I have always fancied myself a backyard gardener. I have had numerous gardens and for the last couple of years have had one in our backyard. I have terrible knees and sweat like a mule and the stamina of a yak. She is always there right by my side working harder than me. Staying out longer than me and doing anything and everything to make sure we have a wonderful garden. But then here is the kicker anytime anybody says anything she never takes credit for how this garden looks. She is beyond special to me.
We “lived in sin” as my Mother called it, for over 9 years. I can remember I asked her to marry me about every other day for 9 years. When she finally said yes we were married within two weeks. She always said she ran just fast enough for me to catch her! Well today she will tell you she waited too long to marry me. Our relationship is really no deeper than when we “Lived in Sin”, but I think we feel the commitment to each other that we now have is a bit deeper. We have been through a lot together. The death of parents, the caring for parents, the raising of children, mine, hers has been grown since we have been together. Each of us has changed careers or left one behind. We have come a long way baby. And I stand here proudly today telling you it is all because of her and her strength that I am the man I am today. It has been said that behind every good man there is a great woman. Well if I have any good in me at all it is because of this kind and gentle partner I have been blessed to be with in this life.
I try to tell her every night before we go to sleep how special she is I can only hope she hears how sincere I am when I tell her. I do not know what I would do if I ever lose her. I think I would simply curl up and go join her. She is my life, my rock, and my very reason to live on this earth. I only wish I could give her all of the things I want to. This is where she would tell me to stop it she has all she needs. That is just how she is. And that is the reason for this post; she is always in the background. Making everything look perfect before, and then cleaning dishes after one of my nightly dinner parties. Doing my clothes, laughing at my stupid jokes, always staying out of the lime light, but making sure I’m out front even if she did all of the work. A more wonderful partner the good lord has not made, and to think he blessed me with her.
Well there you have it, my partner a one of a kind woman whom I love with all of my heart. I can only hope that one day I can be to her what she is to me every day.
I think I will go see if I can find her and give her a huge hug and tell her I love her. Then I might just spring another dinner party on her just to see her say “that’s cool we will have a blast”! God I Love this woman!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
I have written about almost everyone I’m close with except my wife. Yesterday, I realized that I had to rectify this at once.
It will be very hard for me to tell you about my partner. She is selfless, caring, forgiving, funny, true, loving, mean, beautiful, and helpful and a thousand other things I won’t mention. She is my rock. I can remember we were just starting out as a couple still in that feeling out stage. She often tells people that I was the thing that won’t go away!! I was called to the office; we worked together, and I was told I was being downsized out of the company. I will never forget going back to where she was and telling her. After the shock worn off she very calmly said we would be just fine. Then she told me the coolest thing. She said this time why don’t you do something you love. And you know what, I did, we have been living the life since that day.. That is an example of what a true partner does, when you are at rock bottom they are there to make sure you don’t miss the net.
Then there was the time my Mother came to visit. She was on kidney dialysis ever other day. She was right there to either take her or pick her up. She was also there to do the things I could not do, like give her a bath, fix her hair and in general take care of her. And she did this like it was her Mother. How many wives do you know that would make that sacrifice?
Then the largest sacrifice of all, my Son. She has always treated him as if he was hers. Now my son could never imagine a Mother treating their child like that but she always had his best interest at the core of every interaction they had and still does to this day. She told my son one day to call her son and ask him if this was how he was treated. He was afraid to because he knew the answer would have been; exactly!
Come forward to present day. I have always fancied myself a backyard gardener. I have had numerous gardens and for the last couple of years have had one in our backyard. I have terrible knees and sweat like a mule and the stamina of a yak. She is always there right by my side working harder than me. Staying out longer than me and doing anything and everything to make sure we have a wonderful garden. But then here is the kicker anytime anybody says anything she never takes credit for how this garden looks. She is beyond special to me.
We “lived in sin” as my Mother called it, for over 9 years. I can remember I asked her to marry me about every other day for 9 years. When she finally said yes we were married within two weeks. She always said she ran just fast enough for me to catch her! Well today she will tell you she waited too long to marry me. Our relationship is really no deeper than when we “Lived in Sin”, but I think we feel the commitment to each other that we now have is a bit deeper. We have been through a lot together. The death of parents, the caring for parents, the raising of children, mine, hers has been grown since we have been together. Each of us has changed careers or left one behind. We have come a long way baby. And I stand here proudly today telling you it is all because of her and her strength that I am the man I am today. It has been said that behind every good man there is a great woman. Well if I have any good in me at all it is because of this kind and gentle partner I have been blessed to be with in this life.
I try to tell her every night before we go to sleep how special she is I can only hope she hears how sincere I am when I tell her. I do not know what I would do if I ever lose her. I think I would simply curl up and go join her. She is my life, my rock, and my very reason to live on this earth. I only wish I could give her all of the things I want to. This is where she would tell me to stop it she has all she needs. That is just how she is. And that is the reason for this post; she is always in the background. Making everything look perfect before, and then cleaning dishes after one of my nightly dinner parties. Doing my clothes, laughing at my stupid jokes, always staying out of the lime light, but making sure I’m out front even if she did all of the work. A more wonderful partner the good lord has not made, and to think he blessed me with her.
Well there you have it, my partner a one of a kind woman whom I love with all of my heart. I can only hope that one day I can be to her what she is to me every day.
I think I will go see if I can find her and give her a huge hug and tell her I love her. Then I might just spring another dinner party on her just to see her say “that’s cool we will have a blast”! God I Love this woman!!!
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Eruption
As I stated in the previous post there is another story. I have made attempts in this blog to be funny, most have failed miserably. I will relate a funny thing that happened after dinner last night.
We were all sitting around the table when my wife was asked to tell a story on “Tone the Bone”. He was over at our house helping me fix something in our kitchen. And when I say helping me please realize it really is my helping him. And even then I help by staying out of the way and always knowing where the pencil and hammer are. Seems Tony lays them down and they have a tendency to walk off.
Well anyway he walks outside to get something, and like any man on earth has to pee so he just hangs ole Mr. No Shoulders out and starts peeing. I guess when you 81, like in women, things that used to stick up tend to kind of sag. Well he is standing there just peeing away and looking at a caulk gun. Something that truly amazed my wife was his ability to pee using no hands seems Tony didn’t have any trouble if you know what I mean!! What he didn’t know was my wife was working in the garden directly down the fence line!! She tells the story of hearing something and looked up to see Tony messing with a caulk gun thinking he is about to sling some caulk on our fence. When she says she looked down and there in all of its glory is Big Tone! She said she was in shock and awe. Then it struck her she didn’t want him to see her, so she starts trying to slither away behind his truck. She makes it and comes inside to tell me she is “Marked for life after seeing Tony’s peter”. Well needless to say I fall in the floor laughing. Well we shared the laugh with his daughter, my adopted sister! She screams laughing and the story starts to make it through the family around Tony of course.
Well we are sitting at that same table the last post about impact was and they begged my wife to tell the story. Please remember who is at this table, Tony, his current girl friend and my 93 year old Mother-in-Law.
Now an aside. When they were talking about the guy that has been giving Tony the money. My Mother-in-Law says to my wife. Does this guy have a brother? Everyone laughed and thought that was kind of cool.
So my wife starts telling the story. She is a very talented story teller and has the entire table in stitches listening to her talk about Tony and the killer peter. Everyone is laughing and enjoy a good laugh when my Mother-in-Law leans over to my wife and says in a low voice “forget the brother I’ll take him!!” Well the table erupted in laughter! What a treat to see people late in life still in the game.
I think sometimes we don’t allow our elders to play. We think they are just things we have to take care of and tend too. I am so blessed to have older people in my life. Tony has taught me so much about so many things. His girlfriend an angel, a woman lives life like I have never known. She dances like Ginger Rogers, Paints like a world class artist, and is more fun than women half her age. And we must add beautiful to the mix both in spirit and in looks. She is a very special lady and I am so glad I have been able to know her and become close to her. Then we have my Mother-in-Law whom I have written about many times. A more godly woman I have never known. And how nice is it to known she even likes to get into the mix sometimes and let it all hang out for a minute or too.
Well I hope that there are people in your life that have more “life experience” than you. If they are I hope you are honoring them. Please do not simply cast them aside to live in places where they lose all of their life and fun. Sure it might be a burden sometimes. But then there are the times, like this one, where life simply erupts through them.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
We were all sitting around the table when my wife was asked to tell a story on “Tone the Bone”. He was over at our house helping me fix something in our kitchen. And when I say helping me please realize it really is my helping him. And even then I help by staying out of the way and always knowing where the pencil and hammer are. Seems Tony lays them down and they have a tendency to walk off.
Well anyway he walks outside to get something, and like any man on earth has to pee so he just hangs ole Mr. No Shoulders out and starts peeing. I guess when you 81, like in women, things that used to stick up tend to kind of sag. Well he is standing there just peeing away and looking at a caulk gun. Something that truly amazed my wife was his ability to pee using no hands seems Tony didn’t have any trouble if you know what I mean!! What he didn’t know was my wife was working in the garden directly down the fence line!! She tells the story of hearing something and looked up to see Tony messing with a caulk gun thinking he is about to sling some caulk on our fence. When she says she looked down and there in all of its glory is Big Tone! She said she was in shock and awe. Then it struck her she didn’t want him to see her, so she starts trying to slither away behind his truck. She makes it and comes inside to tell me she is “Marked for life after seeing Tony’s peter”. Well needless to say I fall in the floor laughing. Well we shared the laugh with his daughter, my adopted sister! She screams laughing and the story starts to make it through the family around Tony of course.
Well we are sitting at that same table the last post about impact was and they begged my wife to tell the story. Please remember who is at this table, Tony, his current girl friend and my 93 year old Mother-in-Law.
Now an aside. When they were talking about the guy that has been giving Tony the money. My Mother-in-Law says to my wife. Does this guy have a brother? Everyone laughed and thought that was kind of cool.
So my wife starts telling the story. She is a very talented story teller and has the entire table in stitches listening to her talk about Tony and the killer peter. Everyone is laughing and enjoy a good laugh when my Mother-in-Law leans over to my wife and says in a low voice “forget the brother I’ll take him!!” Well the table erupted in laughter! What a treat to see people late in life still in the game.
I think sometimes we don’t allow our elders to play. We think they are just things we have to take care of and tend too. I am so blessed to have older people in my life. Tony has taught me so much about so many things. His girlfriend an angel, a woman lives life like I have never known. She dances like Ginger Rogers, Paints like a world class artist, and is more fun than women half her age. And we must add beautiful to the mix both in spirit and in looks. She is a very special lady and I am so glad I have been able to know her and become close to her. Then we have my Mother-in-Law whom I have written about many times. A more godly woman I have never known. And how nice is it to known she even likes to get into the mix sometimes and let it all hang out for a minute or too.
Well I hope that there are people in your life that have more “life experience” than you. If they are I hope you are honoring them. Please do not simply cast them aside to live in places where they lose all of their life and fun. Sure it might be a burden sometimes. But then there are the times, like this one, where life simply erupts through them.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Impact
Something very strange happened last night as the family gathered for dinner. I will explain the happenings, but it is going to take two posts. Once you have read the stories I think you will understand quite clearly why it takes two.
As we sat at the dinner table last night all visiting and excited about being together, the Father of my claimed sister got up to show me something. If you are a reader you will remember the Legacy post, about “The Bone”. What he showed me was a check for a rather large amount of money. I looked at the named of the writer but it meant nothing to me. Tony then sat back down and explained the story behind the check.
Seems when Tony was 16 years old he met another young man on the street one day. They began to talk and Tony realized that this young man was in trouble and needed some help. He promptly took this new friend home and he became part of Tony’s family. He lived there for over 3 years! As the years pasted Tony, and the new friend became closer and closer. They got jobs together and as the writer of the check later told Tony. They became Brothers.
Well, as young men do, they grew apart and lost track of one another. Both when on the have very successful lives, Tony also became the head of one of the finest families I have ever known. The friend he helped on to his career. Well about a year ago a stranger walked into Tony’s business. His daughter was behind the counter and this strange man started asking a lot of questions about the owner Tony. Being the protective daughter she wasn’t giving a lot of information to this unknown man. Well long story short she finally told him that yes indeed this was the Tony he was looking for. He then gave her an envelope to give Tony. A couple of weeks go by and Tony happens by and the daughter hands over the envelope. There inside and wad a cash and a note thanking Tony for his kindness and a contact number. Well you do not have to be Carnac of Johnny Carson fame to know where this is going. The two friends have been reunited and are back close again. Well seems like the new friend has no family and no body to leave his money to so on occasion he passes on a random act of kindness to Tony in the form of some money.
Now that you know the story here comes the hard part. In your life have you impacted anyone? As I sat there last night trying to figure out if I had ever gone that extra mile in my life to impact the outcome of another person not related to me. The only story I can think of is one I will share now.
I have been blessed all my life. When I was in high school I was not in one click I was in them all but the drug click. I was an athlete, I was a little bit of a hell raiser, I was even in the chess club!!! So I was able to walk in many groups. There was this one kid in school he was smaller and a brain. There was something about this kid I liked. I would always speak to him never picked on him liked to talk to him on occasion. I can remember one day groups of my football playing buddies were in the middle of messing with this kid between classes. I was able to stop them and let him go on his way. An act I didn’t even remember until 10 years later.
We were all at the ten year class reunion. And if you went to yours you know how they go. 10 year reunions are for “impressing”, 20 year reunions are for “hey look at my kids”, and 30 year reunions are for “damn it’s good to see you and no that outfit doesn’t make you look fat!”. Well we were all standing around outside when this super stretch Limo pulls up. Everyone was straining to see who was in it. Remember 10 year “impress”, and who ever this is, was doing it in spades! Out steps my little guy. With a young lady that was a foot taller and drop dead gorgeous. Well all the girls were trying to figure out who he was. And all of the guys were trying to figure out who his date was! He walks over to me and I said hello and gave him a hug. He spoke to all I was standing with and looked at me and recounted the story I told above. He told me he never forgot that and how much it meant to him I was willing to take a chance of being made fun of for watching out after a geek. I told him it was nothing and he said it was a turning point for him. He rededicated his life to his passion, computer, and he was now and executive with Microsoft!! I said thanks he gave me a hug and headed back for his limo. I asked where he was going the party was inside. He said he had done what he came to do and was going to dinner. No one else in that room had ever treated him kindly and he was there only to see me! I was shocked to say the least.
I have never told that story in an open forum before because I thought it simply wasn’t important. I only tell it now to make a point that something as small as I did might have an impact on a person’s life. Never let a chance to help and educate pass.
Now let’s look at the two stories side by side. One changed a life forever, Tony’s. Mine was simply what a young man struggling with his identity needed to keep him focused on his dream. I vote for Tony. Taking a stranger into your home? What must his Mother have thought? Is this a testament of the family environment he was raised in? I think so. Has he pasted that Legacy down? Absolutely. If you haven’t figured it out yet Tony is a very special Man, Father, and Friend. May all of us have a “Tone the Bone” in our lives. I promise he makes life fun and special. Just knowing this man has made me a better Man, Dad and Friend I hate my Dad never knew him. They would have liked each other I think.
Once Again I was able to see a life lessoned learned and how important they are to you later. So if you are ever presented with an opportunity to help another don’t pass it by you never know when you might be saving a life, like my friend Tony did.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
As we sat at the dinner table last night all visiting and excited about being together, the Father of my claimed sister got up to show me something. If you are a reader you will remember the Legacy post, about “The Bone”. What he showed me was a check for a rather large amount of money. I looked at the named of the writer but it meant nothing to me. Tony then sat back down and explained the story behind the check.
Seems when Tony was 16 years old he met another young man on the street one day. They began to talk and Tony realized that this young man was in trouble and needed some help. He promptly took this new friend home and he became part of Tony’s family. He lived there for over 3 years! As the years pasted Tony, and the new friend became closer and closer. They got jobs together and as the writer of the check later told Tony. They became Brothers.
Well, as young men do, they grew apart and lost track of one another. Both when on the have very successful lives, Tony also became the head of one of the finest families I have ever known. The friend he helped on to his career. Well about a year ago a stranger walked into Tony’s business. His daughter was behind the counter and this strange man started asking a lot of questions about the owner Tony. Being the protective daughter she wasn’t giving a lot of information to this unknown man. Well long story short she finally told him that yes indeed this was the Tony he was looking for. He then gave her an envelope to give Tony. A couple of weeks go by and Tony happens by and the daughter hands over the envelope. There inside and wad a cash and a note thanking Tony for his kindness and a contact number. Well you do not have to be Carnac of Johnny Carson fame to know where this is going. The two friends have been reunited and are back close again. Well seems like the new friend has no family and no body to leave his money to so on occasion he passes on a random act of kindness to Tony in the form of some money.
Now that you know the story here comes the hard part. In your life have you impacted anyone? As I sat there last night trying to figure out if I had ever gone that extra mile in my life to impact the outcome of another person not related to me. The only story I can think of is one I will share now.
I have been blessed all my life. When I was in high school I was not in one click I was in them all but the drug click. I was an athlete, I was a little bit of a hell raiser, I was even in the chess club!!! So I was able to walk in many groups. There was this one kid in school he was smaller and a brain. There was something about this kid I liked. I would always speak to him never picked on him liked to talk to him on occasion. I can remember one day groups of my football playing buddies were in the middle of messing with this kid between classes. I was able to stop them and let him go on his way. An act I didn’t even remember until 10 years later.
We were all at the ten year class reunion. And if you went to yours you know how they go. 10 year reunions are for “impressing”, 20 year reunions are for “hey look at my kids”, and 30 year reunions are for “damn it’s good to see you and no that outfit doesn’t make you look fat!”. Well we were all standing around outside when this super stretch Limo pulls up. Everyone was straining to see who was in it. Remember 10 year “impress”, and who ever this is, was doing it in spades! Out steps my little guy. With a young lady that was a foot taller and drop dead gorgeous. Well all the girls were trying to figure out who he was. And all of the guys were trying to figure out who his date was! He walks over to me and I said hello and gave him a hug. He spoke to all I was standing with and looked at me and recounted the story I told above. He told me he never forgot that and how much it meant to him I was willing to take a chance of being made fun of for watching out after a geek. I told him it was nothing and he said it was a turning point for him. He rededicated his life to his passion, computer, and he was now and executive with Microsoft!! I said thanks he gave me a hug and headed back for his limo. I asked where he was going the party was inside. He said he had done what he came to do and was going to dinner. No one else in that room had ever treated him kindly and he was there only to see me! I was shocked to say the least.
I have never told that story in an open forum before because I thought it simply wasn’t important. I only tell it now to make a point that something as small as I did might have an impact on a person’s life. Never let a chance to help and educate pass.
Now let’s look at the two stories side by side. One changed a life forever, Tony’s. Mine was simply what a young man struggling with his identity needed to keep him focused on his dream. I vote for Tony. Taking a stranger into your home? What must his Mother have thought? Is this a testament of the family environment he was raised in? I think so. Has he pasted that Legacy down? Absolutely. If you haven’t figured it out yet Tony is a very special Man, Father, and Friend. May all of us have a “Tone the Bone” in our lives. I promise he makes life fun and special. Just knowing this man has made me a better Man, Dad and Friend I hate my Dad never knew him. They would have liked each other I think.
Once Again I was able to see a life lessoned learned and how important they are to you later. So if you are ever presented with an opportunity to help another don’t pass it by you never know when you might be saving a life, like my friend Tony did.
Peace,
The Blessed Man
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)