Generations

You know we all have a mindset about the generations that is either in ahead of us or behind us.  I can remember looking at my granny’s hand and thinking wow they were wrinkled and hard.  They were riddled with arthritis and all knotted.  She never complained always there cooking every meal and cleaning afterwards never a complaint.   Then there was my Father always tired.  Selfless to a fault always giving up anything he wanted or needed to make sure my mother and the children always got wherever the need was at the moment.  So my perception of these generations is one of sacrifice and pain.

Well until last night.  I was out with friends to dinner.  They were driving so we were sitting on the front porch waiting when they pulled up.  We got into the car and exchanged hellos and how are yous the normal stuff you do with friends.  Then as we were leaving our house the driver informed us we had to make a brief stop to roll a joint for his aunt!!!  Now this is no ordinary Aunt.  She is mid 80’s and full of live and spunk.  I have loved this woman for many years.  And she has a terrible time sleeping.  Well about 2 years ago somehow she found the wacky weed and presto she slept.  So now it’s medicinal for her.  She really needs it for her peace.  This is a woman who is a wonderful spade player and a true joy to simply sit and talk to.  She reminds me a lot of my granny.  A soul you can see from the outside a truly compassionate person and a giver of time and advice to all who would be so smart as to listen.  Always dressed to perfection and beautiful, I really enjoy this lady.

So here is a lady from 2 generations from me who is living life every day.  She never looks back only forward.  Living in the moment for simply joys and love.  Makes me wonder what the generation behind me sees.  Do they see a loving caring hard working group?  Or do they see a group of selfish conceited people who only think about themselves.  I think, or at least hope, they do not.  I think the generation behind us is what I described earlier;  as parents we have enabled an entire generation of people to not know what work is to not know what struggle is to not know what broke is because we had those feeling and they were not fun.  So being what we thought was good parents we have now raised a generation of people who do not know what work ethic is and that call their parents every time that they stub their toe’s.  Good bad or ugly it is what it is.  We will all be fine. This generation of kids will find out soon enough that the world is an unfair place.  I will never forget whenever I would whine to my Dad that it was unfair.  He would tell me “The fair is something that’s down on South Parkway where they judge animals and eat cotton candy” it would piss me off to no end. But you know what he was right.  I have been fired, laid off down sized and abused and none of it was fare.  However, ever trouble made me a better man.  So as we wrap up may we all learn from my friends Aunt; Live life, do not be a passerby get involved be a part it’s quite a ride.  I promise!

I suddenly have a craving for some potato chips or cookie’s

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Golf III

As you know I am trying to introduce you to some of my strongest and most loyal friends in the series called Golf. Well today we go to a very special guy. I will never forget the first time I met him.

In high school I fancied myself a golfer, and had a couple of other friends who thought, like me, we were good golfers. I played on the golf team at school so I knew all of the golfers, or so I thought. I played football with a guy who said he had a friend he would team with; I could get a golfing buddy, and we would have a little competition with a little bet, if we so desired. I was a little wary until he told me the guy he was playing with went to school with us. He didn’t play any sports and was just a buddy of his who lived down the street from him. Well at that point he had me hook line and sinker!! We were poplar and we knew everyone in school so this guy had to be a chump so we accepted the challenge with a “make it light on yourself” kind of wager. We show up to play and here comes this guy, my now dear and treasured friend, shorts and shirt that didn’t even go together in the 70’s! No socks and his golf shoes untied! Well after a brief round of introductions we settled on the bet, which to this day I can’t remember, and began to play. After about 4 holes and this guy was even par and we were struggling to keep up I thought we might be in a little trouble. I suddenly figured, if I messed with this guy he would lose his cool and we would simply run over them since my football playing buddy was in the bag from the first hole. So I began, slowly at first, with just little things. Dropping my ball during his back swing, coughing at just the wrong time, standing with my shadow across his line, very understated at first, then more and more intently. It seemed the more I messed with this guy the better he got. I was amazed. So we get around too number nine. Match all tied, everything on the line for the bet. We tee off. This guy hits his ball into a raven on the edge of the fairway. My partner and I in the middle advantage us!! So I start again, looks like a bad lie, how can you hit the ball that far below your feet, wow tuff luck shame to lose on a bad lie, the whole nine yards of less than positive reinforcement for my opponent. I will never forget this part. I cannot set up this shot if you do not play golf. Leave it to say it was next to impossible. My partner and I both hit the green for the first time all day. I am feeling very relieved at this point and settle back to watch this guy kill himself trying to get this ball up next to the green. Then it happened, what I now recognize as a trademark of my dear friend. He looks over at me and then down at the ball, smiles, then hits the ball, it stops inside a foot, gimme, game, set, and match. I will not tell you how badly my partner and I missed our putts to tie the match. Leave it to be said it was more embarrassing than my behavior had been that afternoon. This was my first introduction to the guy we call Granny!

This match started a friendship that has grown over the last 40 years into something so special that it is hard to describe. Red might know where the body is buried but Granny, knows how it died! This guy had bailed me out of more trouble financially than anyone. I have never been the best with money. He could be Midas. He would just give me money whenever he knew I was flat ass broke and never ask for it back. I am proud to say when I paid him off with the final payment some years ago he looked at me and said “What’s this for?” I said dude you let me have that 10 or 15 years ago. He said wow I had forgotten about it, and you could have too. That’s Granny. As far as I know he has helped everyone one of the band of brothers out with money over the last 40 years. When someone kid needed braces Granny was there. A car broke down Granny was there. He was, and still is the nicest, most moral guy I know.

When I was having trouble with first wife he allowed me to move in with him. Needless to say we lived at different ends of the spectrum. Me the out all night running so hard sometimes I didn’t know how I got home. Him working hard all day coming home eating McDonalds everyday of his life and hanging around his house. He told me after I had moved out that he missed me. I asked really? He said yeah he had gotten used to the newspaper being on the table when he got up!! He also said he used to play a little game of where was I parked in the yard before he walked out to go to work every morning.

This guy is something else even to this day. When we were young we participated in every kind of sport you can imagine. Here are granny’s stats never to be duplicated. His softball batting average, 800. His bowling average, over 200. He golf handicap always under a 5, until recently, now I think he might have crept up to a 7 or 8. Tennis, he played in college, putting himself through school. I can remember one time he was challenge by someone to run a 10K race. He had never run a race in his life. Remember this is the guy who didn’t even tie his shoes. He ran finished the race and beat the person who challenged him. He was originally slated to go to college on a golf scholarship. He got to school and they told him they had done away with the golf team. He asked what other sports could he do and keep the free ride. They said, Tennis. He said oh I play that as well!!! He called me asked me what I knew about Tennis? I said nothing. He went out brought a racquet and rule book started hitting balls against a wall and in 3 weeks made the tennis team. When he graduated he was playing number 2 on a team of 6 people, incredible, huh?

Ok I have told you all of this to say this. When I was lost this is the guy that kept me grounded. When I would be about to really screw up he always knew exactly what to say to get me back down to earth and give up any crazy ideas I had. This is the guy that I will always think about whenever I am faced with an ethical dilemma. He is the little guy that we all should have on our shoulders when we really need to make the choices that matters in life

I can remember only once in his life where he was lost. He met his one and only. While I was living with him and he was finally as messed up as me, he was love struck! They spent every waking and any possible moments together. I was never happier for him. Well long story short it didn’t work out, she had battles that were too hard to overcome and she decided they were to end. It crushed him. I know he never got over it, because a few years ago she passed away. It was like they had been together the entire time. I ached inside for him as he worked his way through it. I often have, what if, thoughts about them. I know he would have finally found that one of a kind happiness that you only know, when you share you live with “The One”, she was no doubt his One. The unfair part, if anyone on earth deserves that feeling it is Granny, a babysitter to the wild, true friend, and unselfish giver, who better to feel that feeling? And how does a person like me get to feel it all the time. Strange how life deals the cards and the hands we each get.

Well that’s my friend Granny. A man who has shaped my life in many ways and I have shared some of the best times of my life with. My hope for you; that you have a Granny, a Red, and a goose, who is next up in the hit parade of golfing buddies, in your life. If so, call them right now and tell them you love them. Lord knows I love these guys.

Thanks Granny, Love you man…………………

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Golf II

As I mentioned in the last Golf post, I have a group of true blues that I really need to introduce to you. We will start with the easiest one. The one I have known the longest. This is Red.

He was the best man in my first wedding. I have known him for fifty years. We have been to the mountain, and back together. We have always been there for each other. I count on him more than he will ever know and always ask his counsel in important matters in my life.

He is an extraordinary example of what a good husband and father should be. He married later in life and got it right the first time. His wife, already had 3 children, and he took them on as if he were their father, because he really was. The real Dad was really never around unless it was to his benefit. He like most deadbeat Dad’s always kept letting his kids down. This was a large pain for my buddy and we have spoken about it many times. It used to eat him up; he could never understand how a father could simply not care about his kids enough to love them and try to be a part of their lives. He simply took over and the kids now, I feel, look to him as their real Dad.

This is the guy that one weekend my Mother and Father went to visit the grandparents and left me at home. I think we were about 17 at the time. Well we did what all 17 year olds at that time did we went out got a bunch of beer and came back home and drank every drop and proceeded to walk around the neighborhood singing at the top of our lings. There was a ditch in front of our house we fell in it and I know it took us over an hour to get out of it and it might have been 3 feet deep. We finally got in the house and passed out thank you lord. Well as fate would have it my Mother got a little sick and my parents decided to come home early. When they drove up in the drive away my Dad saw Red's car in the drive and told my Mother to wait outside he wanted to make sure everything was ok in side before she came in! He came in to find Red butt naked on the kitchen floor every eye on the gas stove running on high! He woke me up first, then we got my buddy up and about the time he fell into my room my mother walks in, as far as I know my Dad never told her what he found. Thanks Dad for that one we owe you!

This is the same guy who I have played golf with for over forty years. We used to play in a lot of local tournaments around our area. We weren’t too bad either we won a few and lost a few but always had a great time, just like the other day. We have worked on every car either of us has ever had including the ones we drive today. We have built lake houses, and dog houses. We have wired houses and done about anything we ever put our minds to we are good for each other as we always think together we can do anything.

Where would we be without people in our lives like my buddy? What kind of existences would we have without people who bring us unmitigated joy? The times in my life I have laughed the hardest are with this guy. The memories I have that make me smile and my eyes fill with tears mostly I can connect to this guy. What have been thought together can only be characterized as life. All of the crossroads all my life he was right there by my side. This is the closest thing I have to a brother on this planet. He is the one I would take a bullet for, and I think him for me as well. We have lost parents together, friends, girlfriends and wives. We have seen each other’s kids born and quietly supported each other as they made choices we both know would turn out badly for them. We have sat across the lunch table and cried and laugh together. We have shared a full and wonderful life together.

Now our lunches are more about how we can retire and what we want for the golden years for each other. I have always said when I hit to redneck 401K (read Powerball) he will reap the benefits as well. I always know I will one day retire and enjoy the last days of my life living on a little land and raising a few animals and fishing. He always says he will be carried out of his job and a stretcher. I try to make him understand you get what you ask for but he is just not there yet. So when my ship comes in I will do whatever I can to make sure he can retire in the mountains as he wants and live the life he so rightly deserves.

I hope reading this has brought back a memory of a friend you had growing up that you miss. If so, please pick up the phone, break of the computer and email. Whatever it takes please stay in touch with eh people that shape your life. I do not know what I would have become had it not been for my band of brother I grew up with. I am so blessed we are all still together save one who it was his choice to be removed. I still would do anything for him and I truly believe he knows it. So take it from a blessed man, life is all about your family, friends, and the relationships you foster, keep in touch.

Thanks Red, Love you Man..................

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Golf

I have spoken in this space about my Memphis Family. My Son has taken his space, as well. I talk about the love of my life my wife and her angelic Mother. I tell of my love for my parents and even take time to talk about others who move me. For some reason I have omitted a very special group of people. There are 5 others that I could write about for ages. These guys are my brothers in crime. We all have them they are the people in your life that know where the body is buried. They are the people if all else fails you know without a double one call and they are by your side for as long as needed.

I was playing golf yesterday with 3 or the 5. As one of them was hitting his tee shot I was taken back to a trip we made together well over 35 years ago to Myrtle Beach South Carolina. We were what they call young flat bellies and we were all away from home and I can’t tell you how much fun we had that trip. As he hit his shot watching him struggle to bend off the get his tee we all laughed about how we have all changed. We used to be winners of a lot of this kind of one day tournaments. Now we are always in the also played group. But I can guarantee no one on the course has more fun.

Earlier this year there is an annual trip that another group of guys get together. They would almost pay our way to go as long as they got to hang around, what I have to believe they think are, crazy people. One of the other guys on the trip actually told us he comes on the trip just to see what one of us says, or does, so he can go back and tell about it! One of the rounds we were all playing together, a stipulation we put in the rules for one day, and it started to rain. We, by the grace of God, were right next to a rain shelter so we pulled under it and began to visit. One of the guys lives out of town, and has for quite a while. So we really enjoy the time we spend together on this trip. We gathered under this shelter and relived a lot of the moments that shaped our lives together. At one point we brought up a story about one of the many Fathers and when the story was finished as we all laughed uncontrollably a clap of flash of lighting and a clap of thunder pounded down on us. We all sat there stunted as this was really close. The guys whose father we were talking about suddenly comes out with good lord dad we were only kidding. We all fell out again.

As I think about these guys I know what has to happen. I am going to try to give each of them a place of their own here in my little archive of my thoughts. So I will start with this general story and then go on to try to introduce you to the most impressive set of friends a man could ever be blessed with. From boys to men the things we endured together have been many from marriages, divorces, death of parents and siblings. The birth of children and the raising of them and all the trails that comes with that exercise. I have lunch with one of them about every 10 days. We sit and solve each other’s problems and listen to each other’s dreams and tell each other we will get there one day. I think we offer each other hope from a source that we think is different than our family. And I feel like everyone needs hope. He is a special guy and will be the subject of the nest story for sure.

So I guess I am hoping you have guys or Gals like this is your life. People who have been in your life for over 50 years and know you like no one else simply because they understand your changes because they lived them with you. They get everything that makes you tick and the things that might be frustrating to others they understand and give you a pass on. I know this Blessed Man has lived a charmed live with these people in it and I hope I can share them with you soon.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Gone

I had the great pleasure of having dinner the other night with my Memphis Family. Seems like every post starts like that but this was different. As you remember we have been battling Breast Cancer in the family with one of our members. Well she got the OK that it’s gone and she is on the road to a full recovery!! Can you say answer to a lot of prays, Amen? As we went through his ordeal all of us had her at the very for front of our thoughts and prays. This woman has been a pillar of strength and the picture of positive attitude at least on the outside, through this entire episode.

But the rock has been her husband, you remember the guy that taught me the lesson in another post, Lesson? He has been there always standing just behind her in case she needed him to lean on. Ever in the moment and always with her way out in front of his every action. May the good lord never let me walk this road he has been down but if I am given the task, may he let me walk it in the same way my friend walked it. Head high eyes clear always focused on the fact that they were going to beat this and be better for it.

You know as I sat there the other night watching them they are different. There was never a doubt they were close. Always there together, you could feel the love and respect they have for one another. But now there is something that is so much deeper. The fact that together, they have made it to the other side has drawn them closer than the normal couple who have been together north of 30 years. There is a way he looks at her now and you can actually feel the kindness pour out of his eyes. She looks back at him and you can feel the tenderness returning to him. It is something I hope one day people can say about me and my lovely wife. I am guessing when you think you might lose the person that makes your world go round you get right with them very quickly. Then when God gives them back to you there is a love so deep that it can move mountains and cure diseases. May we all have this love in our lives; I just hope you do not have to swim the rough water of pain and heartbreak to get there.

Whatever it is they have it. I am proud to call them both members of my Memphis Family. All families go through tuff times. The best ones emerge stronger and closer. I am proud to be a member of a strong and close family. I wish the same for each of you.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Genuine

I was at the doctor’s office yesterday, a place I have been visiting way too much lately. The young lady called my name, and the names of two others. We all limped up to her and then in this angelic voice she said “This away ya’ll” . She repeated it about three times as we wound our way back through the clinic to the very back of the place. A place unfamiliar to me, or the others in our tiny limping band of humanity. However, the calming “This away ya’ll come-on this away” seemed to make it all OK. My counter parts on this journey were 2 elderly people who seemed very calmed by the wonderful young lady and her genuineness if there is such a word.

I got to thinking as I sat waiting the wonderful experience of getting a shot in your knee joint, what a special trait to have, to be genuine. It started me thinking of the genuine people that are in my life. If you sit back and assess your friends and co-workers who is genuine among them? For me there are a few. One that comes to mind is a friend of mine who has had a rough row to hoe, as my granny used to say, lately. She has had numerous trials and tribulations but she has always remained solid as a rock being genuine to herself and all of us around her. Under circumstances I would have buckled under numerous times she stood strong, and I mean Strong. She held not only a family together, but also a child suffering from things I can only imagine. Want to know how genuine you are let your kids start suffering it will reveal who you really are quicker than anything I can imagine. I know, as you have read, in this blog I have suffered with kid issues. It is very hard to stay true to you, and she did it with her head held high and looking the adversity in the eye. I was proud to see her, and call her my Memphis Family, as she reacted and dealt with this very hard test of her character and will. She passed with flying colors.

I think of a guy I when to high school with, he has been a part of my life for over 50 years. He is one of the most gifted people I know. He has never been married and hasn’t really dated seriously maybe 3 times in his life. Yet, he is one of the most genuine guys I know. True to himself and his beliefs, a man of character and values. I lived with this guy during what will forever be known as “the wild years”. We were the exact opposites. Me running like a roman soldier, him, staying at home working hard and doing the right thing. I can remember him telling me after I moved out he missed me because he had the start going out and getting the paper again. You see, I had been bringing it in as I was coming home! He never tried one time to change me or give me any advice. I am quite sure he had some and if I had any sense I should have asked him! Today, he is retired and working with his nephew me working 50 – 60 hours a week still!

I would love to include my father here but the stories are to numerous and the lesson he taught me to complex for this simple script. Let it be known, my Father was the most genuine loving man I have ever known. He taught me that all you have is your world is your word. If you do not honor it, then you have nothing. He was so special, as I look back on my life. Funny how when you are living it, it all seems like so much trouble and the unanswered questions, “Why did you do that?” or the “That makes no sense to me” and “Why are you so mad” And my all time favorite, because of the response “That’s not fare” My Dad would always say “the fair is down on Parkway in September”!! Those times have now added up to the most important lessons in my life.

I would like to think that, if asked, my friends would think of me as Genuine. If they do, all I can say is, Thanks Dad!!!

Well I guess I had better go check my short ribs. Having Church friends over tonight saying thank you for what they all do for the church, great people doing great things unnoticed. Wow that might even be called genuine…
Here’s hoping your friends would think of your name first if the genuine question ever comes up.
Peace,The ever changing blessed Man