New Year 2013

WOW! Where does the time go?  It seems like a month ago I was ringing in 2012.  I can remember my Dad telling me the older you get the faster times flies and man was he correct.

What was 2012 for you?  Was it great, sad, happy, crazy or all of the above?  As I look back it was a year of change.  I left my secure job of 17 years and moved to another city.  That is scary if you have never done it.  I left some of the most important people in my life behind.  Even scarier.  I have branched out on my own for the first time as well.  Scarier still.  And during every phase of this the one rock I have had to hold onto is my darling wife.  She has been there at every turn with nothing but support and unconditional love for me and our situations.

2012 also brought a slight peace to me about my son.  If you have read one post here more than likely it had something to do with him.  Well in 2012 I decided I had done all I can do.  If he doesn’t want me in his life then he gets what he wants.  I can’t imagine my life without my Father during the years he is living right now.  My dad was a wealth of information and advice that kept me from even more pain and suffering than I brought on myself.  However as much as I try my son will do whatever in his power to make sure he defies anything I stand for or suggest.  So I have removed myself from his world and allowed him to do and be whatever it is he wants.  Hard?  You bet.  Necessary?  Absolutely…

2012 took me away from my Memphis family.  This was the hardest thing I have ever done and am still battling it every day.  These people have taken me in and supported me loved me made me a part of something that was so much bigger than anything I have ever been a part of.  My Adopted Sister whom I speak of often in this blog is my greatest lost.  You never understand how much someone means to you until that person is gone.  I find myself reaching for the phone to call her or thinking about dinner plans with them only to realize the harsh reality that they aren’t here.  I can’t tell you how much I miss our dinners, birthday parties, or impromptu togethers, the fake arguments, the always picking at her that I do.  It was a huge part of my life and I never realized how important that was to my happiness and sanity.  Let it be known I miss her madly.

2012 brought new members as well babies Eden and Jade were born to the most loving family I have ever seen.  They will be loved and cared for unlike any other children I know.

2012 also brought a new frame of mind for me as well I think.  As I get closer to the retirement stage of my life I always thought I would be fearful or getting older. Even as we speak now I have just returned from the doctor’s office which I go to now with greater regularity than ever.  Yet I am unafraid and understand you can’t live like I have for 58 years and not need a tune up every now and then.

So what will 2013 bring?

For me only happiness is allowed in 2013.  I was once told the only thing you can pick is your attitude.  In 2013 I choose only a good one.  I pledge to be a kinder gentler Blessed Man this year.  I also choose to be a better husband to the woman who put up with all of my trails in 2012.  I also choose to be a better adopted brother and not fight so much with my older sister!!!!  Even if she is really younger…..I also choose to allow my son the room to be himself even if I can’t stand the thought of it.  And lastly I choose to live every day to the fullest taking time to smell the roses.  I will go through 2013 like a dog with its head out the window.  Face in the wind and wildly happy.  So roll down that window I am getting in your lap and we are going on a 12 month drive 2013…

May 2013 see the answer to any of your problems solved.  May it bring you peace and happiness to your heart.  Here’s to a wonderful 2013 for us all, after all we weren’t even supposed to be here according to the Mayan’s….

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Jade Elizabeth Sledd

Well it seems like every post these days has to do with welcoming a new family member.  We now welcome Jade Elizabeth Sledd into this crazy world.  She is a beautiful young lady taking advantage of her parents best looking parts. Which if she is as smart as she is pretty she will do in all things in her life.  She has come into a heavenly family situation.  I am blessed to know both sets of grandparents in Jade’s situation, as well as her parents.

First the parents.  The mother an angel, beautiful, caring energetic and full of life.  She has a smile that lights up any room she entries. She will be a grand Mother.  Her father, handsome, fit hard working and loving to a fault.  I can remember when my Mother was a live Jades father would come into the room and rush over and give my mother a hug and tell her how glad it was to see her.  He had no idea what an impact he had on her.  She grew to love all of my Memphis family but Jades dad was special in my mother’s eyes and in mine for his kindness to my Mother.  

Her Grandparents; first on the Mothers side.  I have known them for many years as they run a very successful restaurant operation in our home town.  Both hard working and just plain fun people.  The Grandfather a man whom I don’t think I have ever seen without a broad smile on his face and a welcoming heart.  The Grandmother, like her daughter beautiful and strong.  You just know she has purpose and a cause. She has had a few health issues but has taken them on and come out on the other side still full of life and love.  When other I know have let the sickness rule them she has always ruled the illness.

The Fathers side Grandparents; this is my adopted sister and her husband.  Enough has been written here to fill a book about how I feel about these people.  A more unconditional loving family I have never been around.   And that is the part I point out, the family loves unconditionally not just one person in it.  This comes from the strong example set forth by the mother and father. 

Jade my dear what a blessing for you.  To be born into your situation is a dream for us all.  More people to love and support you than most get in a life time and you get it from day one.  As I told your cousin please pay attention to your family.  They will always be there for you.  When you are having troubles you have a group of Aunts and Uncles like none other.  They will cover your mistakes go to bat for you whenever you mess up and take blame when it is really maybe your fault.  What a group. You will be able to live your entire life working with a net.  You will fall, we all do, and you my angel will always land in the arms of a loving family member.  This alone is a blessing few get in life.

As we look at you in that tiny little blanket those gorgeous eyes looking so alert and engaging we can only pray you follow the examples set by those around you. 

So welcome to life my precious one.  And always remember if you ever need some advice outside your family or start to think they are out of touch.  There is an old grayed haired guy in the corner who loves you madly as well.  He, like you has been blessed to be a part of all of this and understands how special everyone here is.  Yep that would be the Old Blessed Man.

Live well my angel, knowing you are loved by all.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Welcome Eden Gail Savanna

Well guess who has a sister?  Yep, young master Jax Ellis.  I saw her for the first time yesterday and thought what an adorable child.  You know we never really look good in those first pictures.  Well this baby did.  Then my adopted sister, her DeDe, sent me a picture today, one day later, and this baby is beautiful.  I sound like a proud adopted Uncle huh?  Well I am.

As you contemplate her future what comes to mind?  Well the first thing to my mind is her wonderful parents.  These two have taken young Jax and taught him to talk, recognize colors, dinosaurs, birds, people, parts of his body and numerous other things.  You say “My grand kid can do that too and was doing it before this kid!” NOPE he does it in Spanish and English!  Suddenly your hand has come down and your jaw has dropped! So she has that going for her.  She has her DeDe and Poppie as well.  As you know these two are unreal.  In my life I have never seen a couple more committed to their children and now their children’s, children.  She has 3 uncles and 2 aunts that are so ready to get their hands on this baby that they are almost fighting for first in line.  She has another thing as well; she has so much love following her that there is no way this child will every fall.  And lastly but certainly not least she will have a cousin that is one week younger than her, Jade, more on her next week.  I can remember when I was a younger man my cousins were my rock.  They were the ones with whom I discovered life.  We taught each other how to cuss, smoke, fish, hunt, drive, chase girls and everything in-between.  I could fill these pages with stories about my cousins and I.

So Eden Gail Savanna, welcome angel.  I will give the same advice I gave your brother.  Watch your family, emulate them. Learn from them.  Treasure them.  You have been blessed to be born into a very special group of people.  They will always have your back and will always love you.  This, my dearest one is life’s greatest blessing, family.  And that’s coming from a person who knows a lot about blessings.  You see I have been with them for over 15 years and they treat me like that, the most special thing; you are that.  

Please live that every day.  I Love you my dear.

Peace,

Your Adopted, whether you like it or not, Uncle

The Blessed Man

Forgotten / Ego

I have never considered myself to have an ego problem.  I always try to accommodate others needs before my own.  I have been a team player my entire life.  I simply didn’t even fathom I could have an ego problem.  Well maybe I do!

You see for the last 15 years I lead the best sale team in Memphis.  We made all goals except for the last quarter of one year.  We were tight we worked together on all projects for the good of the team.  I was proud to call myself a member.  Well I have left the safety of my team.

Thanksgiving is time of reflection and thankfulness, for me anyway.  I was sitting in my office one afternoon the week of Thanksgiving and decided I would write my old team and simply say happy thanksgiving I miss y’all.  I wrote a very heartfelt letter and sent it.  I got one response 3 days later.  Needless to say I was crushed.  I felt like I would get a response from every member returning my heartfelt thanksgiving wish at the very least.  I got zero.  At first I was hurt, then angry, then after a little reflection thought about my dad.

You see he was my greatest grounder if that’s a saying.  I was a fair football player during my younger years and there were times I thought I was better than others.  He always seemed to know exactly what to say to get me to realize I really wasn’t.  I know where the thoughts of greatness came from, they came from my coach.  He wanted everyone to feel like they were the best walking.  But now as I look back I know he only meant on the field.  Once you get off of the field you remember you are just another person trying to make it in life.  Well it seems like I got off the field, Memphis, but forgot to reenter life.  I remember one time when I was at the airport once again I was thinking I was special at my job and my boss at the time and I were talking; and after a small rant about all of my extremely good qualities, I stopped.  He took a drag off his cigarette and looked me dead in the eyes.  He said” What do you think I pay you to do?” I was stunned.  He was exactly correct.  Everything I was telling him about my talents was part of my everyday responsibilities.  He finished by saying if you left tomorrow in 3 weeks no one would remember you.  I was wounded.  My Dad had always been a little kinder in his returning me to mortality. 

However, at the end of the day he was correct.  In our everyday lives we are only living in our small world.  If you are in it, then you matter.  If you move out, then you don’t; hard but true fact of life.  Think about your experiences?  Been there done that or maybe you are not as needy as I am for maintaining relationships.  Maybe there is my down fall.  I wanted to keep being a part of the team.  I wanted to know they were alright and making their numbers and keeping our accounts as happy as they were when I was there.  Ego?  I think maybe.  Shocked, yes.

So maybe it is true.  Out of sight out of mind?  Man I hope not.  I can’t imagine going back to Memphis and the family not really caring if we got together or not!  Man that would leave a mark for sure.  My adopted sister not having time to be with me that would be like losing a real sister. I would simply die.  

I guess in the end we all want to know we made a difference in the way the team played.  We all want to be a part or the part that makes the team a winner.  We all need to be recognized as important.  Maybe a little ego is a good thing.  I know this for sure.  I have left two very successful teams in my work life.  I also know this more important thing.  They are both still in the game.  I was not that big a deal.  Maybe I was important at the moment; I will keep thinking I was.  However, in the big picture both teams are still trucking playing the game we used to play without my help.  And now as I write this I am happy.  Would it have been great to hear from every member that they missed me and wished I were there?  Yes.  Would I have returned? No.  They know this, so I am out of sight out of mind.  They know the team is more important than any one player they have moved on and are showing me they have and letting me know I should too.  Like someone once said “There is no I in team”

Well guess I better get about the business of getting my new team together.  This should be a blast.

Thanks for listening

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Thanksgiving

Well it’s that time of year when we all get together eat like we are not ever going to get sick.  Watch football and drink the best wine we have.  Oh yeah and remember the things we are thankful for.  The wife and I were talking the other day and we have decided this is our favorite holiday because it has not commercially been ruined.  Yes the turkeys go on sale and the whole black Friday thing but other than that it is still about being thankful for what we have.

As I start my list this year the first thing I am thankful for is my lovely wife.  She has been my strength and power for the last 3 or 4 months.  There has been a lot of change in our lives and she hasn't even flinched and I know inside sometimes she has.  But I have never seen her sweat.  A blessing beyond all recognition she has been to me.

I am also thankful for my new home.  My new friends we have made and the new life we have begun.  We have met some of the nicest people here and they are all becoming my new found family. 

I am thankful that my son.  He seems to have finally found someone who he trusts and loves.  He has started working and shows tell tell signs of becoming the man I knew was inside of him.  I feel like now I was the reason it hasn't reared its head until now.  But he seems to be coming along just fine without me there to rescue him from every hang nail he has.  I am proud of his growth.

However, there is a touch of sadness among all of the thankfulness.  You see this is the first holiday I will not be a part of the Memphis family Thanksgiving in about 12 years.  I will not be there cooking and messing with my adopted sister and enjoying with my Memphis family.  They will all gather tonight and sit and enjoy great food, great wine and great company.  I will truly miss each and every one of them.  I hope they all know I will be thinking of them today and still thankful they are a part of my life even from a great distant.  I am blessed to have two of them here with us for the holiday.  So that will dampen the blow a great deal.  After all of these years I still need my family around to make it Thanksgiving. I will still be missing my adopted Sister and her wonderful husband.   It was my Mother’s favorite time of year.  If you have read the other Thanksgiving posts you know all of the stories.  They will all reappear to me late today as I taste my first bite of Succotash.  Miss you Mother.

Well the old Blessed man has a lot to be thankful for today.  Friends and Family always will top my list.  And once again I will be surrounded by them all day today. 

May you be as well.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Gone

If you are a regular reader of the blessed man then you understand I haven’t posted anything in months.  Well I am living a dream here and have been especially busy for the last 2 months.  You see there are times when the good lord sends you a boat and you ether jump in or let it pass.  Well with the full support of my lovely wife I jumped in.  I left my wonderful job, moved to paradise, took a brand new job all in the last 2 months.  I can hear you from here, you left your Memphis family!!!!  Well kinda.  You see my adopted sister and her wonderful husband happened to be in paradise with us for the last 2 months.

They were here and it really eased the blow of the move and to support during the acclamation to our new home and surrounding.  What fun we have had, playing pickleball, golf, shuffleboard, domino’s, eating, drinking, dancing, riding around in our golf carts, and just living “The Village’s Lifestyle”.  Don’t get me wrong I played in between the work and had a blast doing it. 

Well they have gone.

I can’t imagine the hole that awaits us when we return home.  You never understand how much you depend on your family until they are gone.  Did we spend every waking minute together? No, we didn't in Memphis either.  However, I knew they were right there.  Well now they are not, and I already miss them.  

They have been called home for the births of the new newest members of the family. Baby E who will have my main man Jax Ellis as a big brother who will watch over her for the rest of her life as well as parents like the ones they were raised by to love her forever and keep her safe and warm.  Then one week later little Jade enters the world.  And what an entrance it will be, welcomed by parents that have waited for this for a while, strong and loving, great providers, and caring and loving as all great parents should be.  But what else would you expect coming from two of the most loving families I have ever been associated with.  My Memphis family and the mother’s family who I have incorporated into mine so now we are just one big happy family! So I can allow my sister to go to the births, I totally get that.

Now I am not crawling into a hole here the blessed man is better than that, but I am talking about missing my extended family.  When you have lived around people who show you unconditional love for over 15years and suddenly that’s gone there is a void.  We will continue on meeting people and having fun.  I will simply miss my sister and her husband.  Will they return? Of course.  They have made plans to be here 6 moths next year. 

Is that soon enough? NO. 

Is that selfish? Yes

Do I care? NO

So I guess my advice today is if you have family, friends, whomever that means the world to you.  Tell them.  Hug them tell them you love them. Just like I did when I left them last Sunday night. They know how I feel. Yours should know how you feel. It’s important.

Well guess I’m glad I am out of town for a few days.  Maybe that will make the return a little easier than a cold turkey stop.

Well DeeDee and Poppie you know I love you both.  Please come back soon.  There are people in paradise that love you too.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Breakfast

Breakfast one of, if not, my favorite meal of the day.  Whether you are a bacon and eggs person, or a cereal and toast person it’s how you start the day.  Somehow it sets the tone for your attitude for the next 4 or 5 hours until lunch.   I can remember those specials night when it was just my Mother and I for dinner the sister were out somewhere and Dad was working.  She would look over at me and say “let’s have a breakfast dinner.”  Nothing was more special than to have bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy for dinner are you kidding me?  Knowing full well you were going to get to eat it again when you woke up.  Now that’s living my friend!!

Well I say all of that to tell you of my most recent breakfast memory I have made.  I have spoken here numerous times about my adopted sister’s daughter who has married one of the finest young men I have seen in a long time.  There was the post about the way he treats not only his wife but his Mother.  A finer young man I would challenge you to find.  Anyway back to my story

We were at dinner the other night and he asked me if I wanted to go to breakfast with him and his wife the next morning.  I said sure.  Well this isn’t your run of the mill breakfast, oh no sir!  This was a go out to a local air field.  Get into a Cessna 182 fly to Oxford Mississippi eat at the local legendary breakfast place, Big Bad Breakfast.  Be taken on a private tour of the Ole Miss Campus.  Back to the airport flown back home and all before 11am!!

Talk about special, man!!!!  I have a love for airplanes few know.  I worked around them for over 25years.  There is a saying in the airline biz.” Once you have worked around planes you have Jet fuel in your veins” Well this episode let me know mine is still alive and well.  The coolest part about the entire thing is I got to ride in the right seat.  That means I was wearing a head set, listening to all of the radio traffic and simply had the best seat in the house.   As we flew down we talked about the scenery it was slightly over cast but a wonderful day to fly.  All the way down and back I am like a kid in a candy store looking for things on the ground I recognized.  Simply taking in all of the beauty of flight and the peacefulness that being up there gives you, if that’s your thing and I promise it’s mine. 

As we were flying back I was taken back to thoughts of my Mother.  I can remember one day she said to me let’s go eat lunch.  I said sure let’s go.  We proceeded out to the airport, got on an airplane, flew to San Francisco, and had lunch at fisherman wharf!  My Dad worked at America Airlines for almost 40 years so we could fly for free if there was a seat.  And back in those days there were always seats.  So we went to the west coast for lunch.  As I sat there looking out that window I somehow knew Mother was watching that airplane as we were flying home and loving the fact that all these years later I am still up for a good meal no matter where I had to go to enjoy it.  May we all have the chance to do something this special what a blessing.

Well once again I find that no one is really more blessed than me.  Think about it.  In my life I have done something twice most people never get to do even once.  I have gotten on an airplane flew to some wonderful place.  Eaten, got back on an airplane and flew home.  Talk about lifestyles of the rich and famous. The ole bless man has lived it, twice. 

Well thanks to my pilot and his understand wife, she sat in the backseat and allowed this old man to have the best seat in the house.  A seat I know is hers and will remain hers for many years.  You have made the Blessed Man a happy one.  This trip is a memory I will cherish forever.  I will never forget that feeling as we were leaving the ground on the way down there.  I have taken off a thousand times but there is something about, for the lack of a better term, being in the driver seat that makes it a totally different feeling.

Why am I humming Rhapsody in Blue? Only a few will get that one so I embedded the link.  You will get it the second you hear the first note, I hope!!!!

Peace,

The Blessed Man