Forgotten / Ego

I have never considered myself to have an ego problem.  I always try to accommodate others needs before my own.  I have been a team player my entire life.  I simply didn’t even fathom I could have an ego problem.  Well maybe I do!

You see for the last 15 years I lead the best sale team in Memphis.  We made all goals except for the last quarter of one year.  We were tight we worked together on all projects for the good of the team.  I was proud to call myself a member.  Well I have left the safety of my team.

Thanksgiving is time of reflection and thankfulness, for me anyway.  I was sitting in my office one afternoon the week of Thanksgiving and decided I would write my old team and simply say happy thanksgiving I miss y’all.  I wrote a very heartfelt letter and sent it.  I got one response 3 days later.  Needless to say I was crushed.  I felt like I would get a response from every member returning my heartfelt thanksgiving wish at the very least.  I got zero.  At first I was hurt, then angry, then after a little reflection thought about my dad.

You see he was my greatest grounder if that’s a saying.  I was a fair football player during my younger years and there were times I thought I was better than others.  He always seemed to know exactly what to say to get me to realize I really wasn’t.  I know where the thoughts of greatness came from, they came from my coach.  He wanted everyone to feel like they were the best walking.  But now as I look back I know he only meant on the field.  Once you get off of the field you remember you are just another person trying to make it in life.  Well it seems like I got off the field, Memphis, but forgot to reenter life.  I remember one time when I was at the airport once again I was thinking I was special at my job and my boss at the time and I were talking; and after a small rant about all of my extremely good qualities, I stopped.  He took a drag off his cigarette and looked me dead in the eyes.  He said” What do you think I pay you to do?” I was stunned.  He was exactly correct.  Everything I was telling him about my talents was part of my everyday responsibilities.  He finished by saying if you left tomorrow in 3 weeks no one would remember you.  I was wounded.  My Dad had always been a little kinder in his returning me to mortality. 

However, at the end of the day he was correct.  In our everyday lives we are only living in our small world.  If you are in it, then you matter.  If you move out, then you don’t; hard but true fact of life.  Think about your experiences?  Been there done that or maybe you are not as needy as I am for maintaining relationships.  Maybe there is my down fall.  I wanted to keep being a part of the team.  I wanted to know they were alright and making their numbers and keeping our accounts as happy as they were when I was there.  Ego?  I think maybe.  Shocked, yes.

So maybe it is true.  Out of sight out of mind?  Man I hope not.  I can’t imagine going back to Memphis and the family not really caring if we got together or not!  Man that would leave a mark for sure.  My adopted sister not having time to be with me that would be like losing a real sister. I would simply die.  

I guess in the end we all want to know we made a difference in the way the team played.  We all want to be a part or the part that makes the team a winner.  We all need to be recognized as important.  Maybe a little ego is a good thing.  I know this for sure.  I have left two very successful teams in my work life.  I also know this more important thing.  They are both still in the game.  I was not that big a deal.  Maybe I was important at the moment; I will keep thinking I was.  However, in the big picture both teams are still trucking playing the game we used to play without my help.  And now as I write this I am happy.  Would it have been great to hear from every member that they missed me and wished I were there?  Yes.  Would I have returned? No.  They know this, so I am out of sight out of mind.  They know the team is more important than any one player they have moved on and are showing me they have and letting me know I should too.  Like someone once said “There is no I in team”

Well guess I better get about the business of getting my new team together.  This should be a blast.

Thanks for listening

Peace,

The Blessed Man