Mother

I have mentioned my Mother here on numerous occasions. With the recent passing of Mothers Day and my experience in church this morning I felt I needed another one about my Mother.

I, like everyone on the planet with a heart, thought about, and missed, my Mother deeply last weekend. I was blessed to be with my family and we celebrated the Mothers who were with us and, I hope properly, remembered the ones who are no longer here. I can remember many great things about my mother. How she taught me to love unconditionally and how sometimes you will get hurt; however, there are the times that this type of love puts you into a situation that simply takes your breath away. I have experienced both things in my life. And she was correct. Love with reckless abandon the good times truly out weight the bad.

As we stood in church this morning, the congregation singing here favorite song. I was taken back to that church she literally drug me to every Sunday and Wednesday evening. I saw her standing next to me, her very best dress on singing in her pseudo alto voice trying her best to make sure she sounded perfect. I never knew what a beautiful voice that was until it is no longer here for me to hear. I wished she had been there this morning to sing with the group. It would have been the sweetest thing my old ears had ever heard. Somehow I know she was there singing her heart out I could almost hear it. Well as I stood there fighting back the tears, as I am now, I thought of all of the things she has given me and wondered, almost aloud, if I had ever thanked her for them.

She taught me to always tell the truth. I can hear her now “if you always tell the truth the stories are always so much easier to remember.” Wow was she ever correct. I can remember a couple of times in my life when I made a decision the stray from this advice and it has always cost me a small piece of my character. A very high price to pay for a moment of uncomfortablity, I promise you.

She taught me to cook. The joy and the goods times I have had either, around a campfire or a stove cooking have been the shaping moments of my life. I have met more great people and done what little in my life might be called good while cooking for either me or others. Cooking is a huge part of my life.

She taught me to be forgiving. I can remember times in my life when people have dealt me a devastating blow. Others might have made it their lives goal to see the perpetrators brought to some form of revenge or justice. I simply forgave them, and moved on with my life. And because of that, I have found a life I could have only dreamed of. The perpetrators; all have had tremendous tragedy in their lives. Was I glad to see it, absolutely not. Is it the old as my mother said “What comes around goes around” No doubt about it.
She taught me how to laugh. I have spent the better part of my life laughing. If laughter is the best medicine I will never be sick. I try my best to laugh out loud at least one time every day. I can remember we laughed to a point my dad would worry about us. I looked forward to every Saturday of my life. That was the day my mother and I would go to the store. Fred Montesi’s; we would spend hours in that store shopping and looking at all of the new stuff. We would always sneak off, or so we thought, and get something to eat and sit there and laugh like we were kids. My then wife and dad thought we were as they said “touched in the head”. But something told me they were always jealous we didn’t take them along. Sadly they didn’t know how to laugh and mother and I did and we did at every opportunity. I can remember one evening my best friend was leaving the house. I told my mother he was leaving and she needed to tell him good bye. She said, she was not going to do that. I calmly walked into the kitchen picked her up walked out onto the front porch and told her to tell him good bye. She, very sarcastically, said GOOD BYE!! I then dropped her into the boxwood bushes in front of the house and came back inside. She was laughing lying in those bushes I was laughing laying in the living room floor and my dad was looking at me like I had lost my mind. We laughed about that one thing up until the time she died. My friend, who I still have lunch with once a week, remembers it as well. That was my mother. Thanks Mom for all of the life lessons know I missed a few but I think I got the big ones.

As I sit here and write this I also wonder what I am passing on to the next generation. What example am I setting? Does my son have anything to remember like I do? Will his memories be all dark and coldly because of our relationship? Have there been good times for him? As I sit here and try to think I am not sure. What an embarrassment from my stand point. Where is the disconnect? When did family stop being fun and start being a job? Was it when we,(that being my generation), started trying to make sure our little angels didn’t fall and hurt their knees, and that everyone gets a trophy even if they suck. My son didn’t have to cut yards to make money. I am just glad I grew up where I did and with whom I did.

Well Mom I miss you. I miss you every time I walk into a grocery store. Every time I hear one of those songs you loved to sing in church. Every time I stand in front of my stove or over a grill and smell the wonderful aromas and wish you were here to tell me what it needed. Happy belated mother day my angel I know dad got you something special.

Well I guess I had better start thinking about dinner tonight that should cheer me up. Something country sounds like the ticket. Think I will see if my son is free tonight. Maybe it is not too late to start making a few memories.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Memory

I bet, if you thought back, every one of us can remember that gift or present that we swore we would never forget. I know I can, it was a Get Away Chase game. I was maybe 8-9 years old and this game came out. It was only available at DX Service Stations. Remember Service Stations? I was under the impression that if this game was not mine, life as I knew it, would cease to exists. I was the typical kid as well. Swearing to behave until the day I died, I would keep my room clean until the new millennium. I would take a shower every night, which was huge for a kid my age. I think you get the picture I wanted this game. Now a bit about my mother; I loved this woman like all only sons love their moms. She was the light and breath of my soul. But, she had a side of her that I now appreciate so much. She was as slick as a Harvard lawyer. She always used the truth to her advantage by maybe not telling you the entire truth, so to speak. Here is a perfect example. Like I said this game was my current obsession. I knew the only place to get it was the local DX station, where my Mother brought gas and knew every person who worked there. So I knew I was a shoe in for the game. So when I asked her about the game she told me that the Station didn’t have any, and she was unable to get it for me. I almost died. I had dreams of blowing up the station and seeing all of these helpful, so they thought, people meeting their untimely demise due to the fact they didn’t save one game for their best customer’s spoiled brat. Every time I was with her, and we went there, I would ask about this game. They had the same answer, they were out and they were not getting anymore because it was a special only going on during the Christmas Holidays. I was crushed. Finally giving in to the understanding there would be no Get Away Chase game for me I went into a deep funk. Then my Mother used this to tell me how she was so disappointed in me for being so selfish. What did I think the poor little boys in China were getting for Christmas. I had often offered them my turnips or the odd squash dish when my Mother was trying to get me to eat. Well along comes Christmas morning and yep there it was right in the middle of the floor the “I couldn’t get it” Get Away Chase Game. After my initial euphoria, and once my heart started beating at the normal rate I asked my Mother how she could lie to me like that. And here comes the Harvard Lawyer part: “Son, I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t get the game from our DX station. I had to go over off Lamar to another station and get it. I never told you I did have it, I said I couldn’t get it from our DX.” Damn she was right. This was the first time she used the trick and was not the last until I was much older and started asking more pointed questions. This is one of the things I remember most about her was her utter joy of tricking the kids when so could use this strategy. She used to kill my younger sister all the time, using the truth but not the whole truth thing. I don’t think they ever caught on!!

Well until two days ago this was by far the most memorable gift I have ever gotten. Then the following happened to me.

As we are lying in bed the other night the wife looks over at me and tells me I have a surprise being delivered the next day. Well the kid in me comes out and I start the assault of questions. She stands firm in not telling me and gives hints that are so wild I can’t even imagine what this could be. Well she falls asleep and I am staring at the ceiling and finally it hits me I know what it is. So we wake up the next morning and she says did I ever figure out what she has gotten me I say yes but I am not telling her since I do not want to risk messing up her surprise, or the embarrassment of being wrong! Well we are sitting at the table computers smoking and there is a knock on the door and she lights up light the sun coming up over the ocean. I got up and when to the door with her and I was more blown away than that Christmas Morning.

You see my surprise was an old recovered chair. Now how can this chair possibly be more important than a Get Away Chase game you ask? Well this is a special chair with a capitol S. This is the chair, I have seen my Mother rock all of my sisters in. This is the chair, I saw my Granny refuse to give up even after my Dad told her it was his! This is the chair, I tripped over while running through the house while being chased by my cousin and dropped the Pecan Pie I was running with trying to keep her from getting the first piece. This is the chair, I sat in when I was a kid while my Dad was at work and dreamed of the day I might be like him. This is the chair, I picked my Dad up from the last time I saw him alive and carried him to bed that night he was able to go and leave this painful world behind. This is a special chair. Well needless to say I was dumbfounded. I had hauled this chair around for 3 moves and always had it in the attic as it was in much need of repairs. My angel wife had gotten it fixed and recovered. As I stood there it was all I could do not to lose it. I was very moved as I am now as I write this. We put this chair in our office, which is the first room you see as you enter our house. It will always sit in a place of honor in our home. This will be the most memorable gift I ever receive. I have said many times here how special my wife is this story will give each of you a look into how blessed I am she has chosen to be a part of my life. I love her very much. We still have not been able to talk about the chair and might be months before I can truly tell her how much it has meant to me. But somehow I think she knows she is just that way.

I think I will go relive sitting in that chair and hoping to be like him one day. Still can’t say I have made it to that height, but at least now when I need to talk to him somehow I think I can sit in this chair and he might just be there. Now that is a blessing.


Peace,

The Blessed Man