Thank You Bobbie

If you have read along here you know who Bobbie is, she is my lovely wife’s mother.  And an angel she was if you do not know this simple read a few of the posts about this one of a kind woman who I was proud to call my Mother in law.  I loved her like I loved my mother a sweeter woman has never graced god’s earth.  As you might have read Bobbie left us last September to be in heaven.

We are blessed to be able to ride stand by on a major airline due to my wife’s long and storied career.  So we often take trips to wonderful, places.  Bobbie had a love of coins that is the stuff of legend; she loved and collected them for years.  Well a tradition has grown from this love.  Shortly after Bobbies’ passing we were trying to get on a flight that was extremely over booked.  We only can ride if there is an empty seat and the way it is today that’s very rare so we choose our flights with great care.  But we decided to stand by anyway and see what happened.  As we were going through security my wife looks down and finds a penny.  She picked it up and said this was a sign from Bobbie that we were going to be just fine.  I said great and we headed to the gate.  As we sat there it looked no better.  Suddenly the gate agent called our names and we got 2 seats and they were  together and we were the last two names called.  I was stunned to say the least and the wife looked at me and said Bobbie has once again taken care of us.  Since that happened we have done this a number of times always at the last minute we are boarded and off we go.  I am starting to look for those pennies now!!

Well my wife’s son turned forty last week.  He wanted her to be there in the worst way and she wanted me to go with her.  So understand this is on a Thursday and I have to work on Friday.  So the plan was to go to Minneapolis Thursday afternoon and return at 6am to home for me to work.   We arrive at the airport and as we are going through security the TSA holds out a small bowl and tells my wife you left something in your contents bowl.  Yes Sir it was a penny!!!!  We head to gate full knowing Bobbie is on hand and working hard to get us to the birthday dinner, because Bobbie was a huge influence on my wife’s son.  She watched/raised him while my wife worked evenings at the Atlanta airport years ago when he was a small boy.  So as the flight get closer it fills up.  There is a decision made that if we go to Chicago we can then connect to MSP, from there and all will be good.  So we quickly get the last 2 seat to Chicago and head north.  We are on our way and Bobbie is with us.  We arrived in Chicago the MSP flight was the next gate, thank you Bobbie, we sat there and the flight fills and leaves without us!  What has happened?  We were to be on that flight?  As my wife and her son search for options there are simply not any.  As I sit in the gate sadden because I know how much this means to my wife the decision is made we will return to home through Atlanta.  We will get back home around 11pm but no birthday dinner.  A very sad mother tells her son she loves him and we head to get something to eat.  We find all of the restaurants are over flowing so we get something fast and return to the gate.  Now across the hall there is a MSP flight that had cancelled from the morning there.  The wife has asked if her status as a retired instructor would allow us to ride what is called a ferry back to MSP.  The gentleman behind the gate, a pilot, says he doesn’t think so, so sadly we continued with the retune home plans.   As we sat down to enjoy our fast food we hear from across the hall our names being called.  What we looked at each other and promptly left all of our food and drinks sitting there and ran across the hall.  We were given two First Class boarding passed and escorted onto and empty plane except for 2 flight attendants and one other person.  All in first class and happy as larks!!!!  The wife calls her son.  He answers with the following statement “Mom I was just sitting here wishing you would call me and tell me you were on the plane and heading to eat dinner” much to his surprise she told him we were and would see him shortly!  He simply couldn’t believe it and kept repeating shut your mouth!! But all seemed to forget, save Bobbie, that  this was a very special occasion and one needs to always travel to special occasions in style.  Well a 140 seat airplane empty except for you and 3 others is pretty special.  We arrived took a cab to the dinner spot and had a wonderful evening.  Thank You Bobbie!!!

We returned the next morning it was very uneventful thank goodness.  I think Bobbie knew she had me maxed out the day before.  She did always love to mess with me.

I will never look at a penny the same after this trip…..

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Birthday

Had a good friend of mine send me a note today marking all of the events, and first in aviation that happened on this date, December 17. The Wright brothers first flew was among the facts and tidbits he included. He has spent his entire career in the aviation. I got to thinking about the date and remembered something else of merit happened on this date; 79 years ago, My Mother was born!

I have spent the day remembering my Mother. This day marked the first day of Christmas in our house. It was the day we got to put up our tree because my dad would not allow anything to be more important than my Mother’s birthday. This day also marked the beginning of the gift giving season, as my Mother got to open one gift a day, starting today, until Christmas. I think it made my Dad a lot happier than her because she always wanted everyone to open gifts early. I can remember this time of year my Mother getting everything from little puppy dogs, diamond rings, watches, and bracelets, too automobiles. My Dad worshiped her and her him. It was not a Ward and June Cleaver thing they truly loved each other. My Father is the one who taught me how to treat my wife. And I can only hope that, if he were here today, my darling wife would thank him.

Another tradition in our house was you got to eat anything for dinner you wanted on your birthday night. Well Mother’s again was a little different. She always got to go out where we always had to stay home!! I can remember once when Mother asked to take us along on her birthday dinner. I think it almost hurt my Dad’s feeling. We got to go because Mother got what she wanted, but you could tell we were getting a peak into something that my Dad really wanted to keep between him and her. After all with 4 kids there wasn’t a lot of together time. Other than the early morning or the late nights whenever it was he was off was their only time. Tthis time of year my Dad would work 3 jobs if he could juggle the schedules. He worked at the airport, 37 years, he always played in a band every weekend, and this time of year would work at Corondilet, or Goldsmiths, or somewhere stocking at night, or putting bikes together, or doing something to make it all happen for the rest of us. I can remember him coming home dead tired and seating at the washing machine, feet up, drinking boiling hot coffee and talking to my Mother. I can remember, when my room was next to the kitchen hearing them talking about everything from his music to money. She always had time for him and when he was home, and awake he was the numero uno thing.

As I sit here wishing I could call her today and wish her happy birthday there is no way I can be sad. I can see her in heaven sitting at the table with my Dad his feet up on the washing machine talking about whatever you talk about in heaven. One thing is for sure it’s not money anymore!!

Call your Mother, if you can, even if it is not her Birthday

Love you Mom, Peace

The Blessed Man

Blessing

What a word. What does it evoke to you, money, happiness, fame, security? I write about what it means to me here. There are many perspectives of a blessing. I have sat back and watched one of late. I am not too sure the person traveling the road thinks it’s a blessing, but I can promise her it is. How can I do that? I have walked the exact same road.

The road we walk, watching a loving parent slowing go to heaven, if that’s how you believe. And I believe it to be that way so that’s how I think. You see one time I tried to tell her she was blessed and she nodded and said thanks but I do not think she ever believed it. And you know I am sure if someone told me that I didn’t believe it either. When you are in the middle of it all you are so consumed by your feelings you do not have the time to recognize you blessing. What a privilege it was to walk with my Father to heaven’s door. I was the last person to talk to him before he went to joint his Mother, Father, sister and brother. I was the person who turned him over, lovingly to them, and knew in my heart the night they were going to take him and let me become a man. My sister was blessed to do the same with my mother. We have talked since my mother’s death and she understands how special it was to be there and take mother back to Dad and be the one to make sure she arrived safely.

Well the time for my extended family member to do the same came today. They, as a family, walked to heaven’s gate and lovingly turned their Father and Husband over to a better place. What a blessing to be able to be the ones to make this journey, knowing in your heart that your loved one got there safely because you were there to hand them over. What a spectacular act of love and caring. Wow almost overwhelming when you think about it.

As I look back at the time when we lost my Dad it was really hard on everyone but me. I believe in my heart of hearts that the reason is because I was there and knew he was safe. My sisters really took it hard and I could never understand that because we all knew he was sick, we all knew he was going to die. They just seemed to believe it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. I can remember calling my sisters and each one almost falling apart when I told them he was gone almost as if they never knew he was ill. My Mother took it hard but she had just lost her life partner of almost 35 years so she gets a pass.

I can’t wait to talk to my family member in a couple of months when she has had a little time to forget the bad days of hospitals and illness and her Father not being able to recognize her or her new born son. She will one day be thinking about her dad and it will hit her like a ton of bricks how blessed she truly was to be able to be there to support not only her mother but more importantly her father as he went through this world and into a better place. I often think about my father on special occasions and know he is there in spirit. As we sat for Thanksgiving dinner last week both he and my mom were here and so was the succotash and roasted Turkey they so loved. After the meal, just like we used to do, we all sat around a TV and watched football and thought about lunch the next day of turkey sandwiches and warmed up dressing. Did I miss them? More than you will ever know. Was it good to have them here even if it was just in spirit? Absolutely!

So as we head down the holiday road to Christmas I can only hope one of the presents my darling angel receives this year is the knowledge of what a blessing she was given to be able to be with her Father to the very end. He knew she was there. He knew little Jaxx Ellis when he touched him. And he will be there this Christmas, and every other Christmas, until she is blessed to go to be with him in that better place. One thing I can promise will happen when he meets her there is: He will give her a huge hug and thank her for taking care of him, and bringing little Jaxx Ellis to see him before he went to heaven.

So as we approach Christmas let’s all count our blessing and reach out to family and friends and make sure they all know how much they mean to us. My wish for you is to never get a call in the middle of the night and a voice on the other end tell you, you have just lost someone dear to you, that you didn’t get to say good bye too.

What a blessing to be able to take care of your goodbyes while they are still here.

Happy Holidays and Peace,

The Blessed Man

Bond

Seems like there have been nothing but birthday parties in the family for a while lately!! Well last night was another one. This time it was a younger member. This young man turned 24 last night. I try to remember what I was doing at 24 then I remembered I was married and working for a company digging ditches!! It was a good job but man was it hard work. I think it was during that phase of my life I figured out I was not the manual labor guy!! But enough about me. What made this party special was the fact that, as in all birthday dinners, the honoree was in charge of the guest list. It was a simply list. Just us!!! No friends, no others his age, not what you would expect from a man of his age. Not even one really hot 20 something girl!!

As we all sat around this table I was struck by the real sense of family that was surrounding the entire table. The age ranged from 93, my angel of a mother in law, to 22 the sister of the honoree. At one point I looked up and there were at least 5 different conversations going at once. However, there was the most beautiful hum in the room. The room was simply a glow with the sense of family and friends. A more comforting feeling I have never experienced. It took me back to my youth. I can remember sitting around the kitchen table either waiting on my Dad to get home or eating with my Mother and sisters. That feeling was always there, what a blessing. The family bond.

As we sat around thinking we were all in our own little conversations. The glass was tapped, the group quieted and the toasts started. Well it is a very special moment when you get to hear what your brothers think about you, especially when you are the youngest of the boys. I can only imagine when they were all small the lengths the younger would go to impress the older. Yet it seemed as if the tables were turned as we all sat there and listened to the older ones praised the younger.

Now for a brief bit of info on the honoree; He is a lover of life. There is nothing this young man is afraid of, in my opinion. He lives, loves and existed with reckless abandon. He thinks he can do anything, of this I am a bit jealous. He heads into that still dark night of life carrying the light of youth and fully expects everything to work out to his favor. Has he lost on occasion, absolutely! Has he won some, no doubt. He learns a lot like I did in the school of hard knocks. The trouble with that school is the diplomas are always given out later in life. But they are the most special of all degrees given. This young man will be a leader of men and a huge success. Will he fall along the way, without question. But I believe he has the will power and courage to get up and get back in the fight. He might even graduate from Hard Knock U early and with honors!!

As I sat there last night watching this all unfold in front of me I was thinking how different family members are, and how we are all bond together by a common thread. If you look at the brothers as a case study this is played out in full. The oldest brother, an entrepreneur, working hard to get his business up and running profitably, the middle brother, and executive with a fortune 500 company well on his way to the top of the corporate ladder. Both showing love and support for their younger brother in any endeavor he chooses. Both telling of the pride they share in his accomplishments, to this point, and both having great expectations for his future success. A truer family moment would have been hard to find.

I often wonder what I have missed in life by not having a brother. I have people I think of as brothers. I have people I love and are important to me. However, I would be crazy if I thought for one moment it is anything near the bond these young men had last night. The element I am missing; the family bonds the thread of family that last night was holding everyone together as if we were holding hands even when we were talking over each other.

I have stated here many times the blessing I have been given, and the love afforded me from this family I call mine.

Well not sure whose birthday will be next, but there is one thing for sure. The family will gather I will be moved and once again proud to be a part of this very special group of people I call my family.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Bliss

There are times in your life when you get to see something you have always wanted to see. There are the vacation things. I remember when I was in the boy scouts and we drove or shall I say rode 2 old buses cross country to the Grand Canyon. We hiked down the canyon and spent the night on the canyon floor sleeping next to the Colorado River roaring next to the camp site, an awesome sight for this 13 or 14 year old young man. I looked forward to seeing that place for the entire five days it took to get there. Then there are the family things; I will never forget the feeling I had the day I watch my son march around the parade grounds of Lackland Air Force Base and graduate an Airman in the United States Air Force. I still get chill bumps and my eyes tear even thinking about the scene. I was blessed to be there the day my wife’s son had his first child. I have even written after that in this blog. I have had numerous places in my life when I was able to see things happen that moved me.

Well last night something happened inside the Memphis Family that many people have been praying for a long time. One of the members of my family is a very special person. She has a place in my heart where only few are allowed. She is more of a sister than a friend. I go to her for counsel on occasion. I go to her for support. I go to her for so much more than just friendship. She is my example in something’s like her strong love for family and the unyielding desire to hold them together at all costs. She always seems to have it together no matter how crazy things get. I, on the other hand, if you read this space at all know I allow my son to totally take over my mind and body to a point I almost lose it. Here is where she always brings me back to a point of sanity and tries to make me see that it will all be ok one day, but enough about me and my things.

As I have said here many times she is the matriarch of a strong family I am proud to be clandestinely a member of. There is the Father a calm and gentle spirit of a man; a man who has provided for his family a loving and safe home for all time. A place where all are welcome and you always leave happier than you came. The children, there are four, all solid citizens and moving forward in their lives and never losing site of the place from whence they came. Humble, and loving not only to their parents and their parent’s friends but to each other and that is huge in my book.

Well, on we go, my claimed sister has always dreamed of the day she has her first grandchild. Well last night she was informed it will be here in November. There we were all in the kitchen looking at pictures from a recent trip her son had taken to China when he turned the page and there were the ultrasound pictures of her grandchild. I will never forget the embrace and the tearful response of “we’re having a baby” coming from her quivering voice. A moving moment exactly like the embrace I witnessed in Tampa Florida after the birth of my wife’s first grandchild. Purer emotions I am not sure exist. To see the Grandmother to be, hugging the Mother to be, and watching the Father hugging his son you could literally feel the pride from their embrace. May all of us, at one time in our lives, be able to be moved to your very core. Where all that comes out of you is the purest form of love that god grants us to share. I have been blessed to experience those feeling 4 times in my life. What a blessing.

I do not know what the future holds for me, but I do know that there is a child to be born in November that has won the family lottery. She/he will be loved cared for and raised in an environment that is bountiful with all of the good things in life. It is being born to a young man and woman who will be parents of the highest order. They both come from families steeped in love and caring for one another. They band together in good times and bad and always, always love one another through whatever life hands them. It will be an honor and a privilege to watch this child be formed into a loving member of this special family.

I wish for you that once in your life you get to see this pure bliss I saw last night. And when you see it please take the time, like I did last night, to experience the wonder of the moment. I am truly a blessed man.

Well I think I will call my son and tell him the good news. I can’t imagine the roles being switched and the grandchild being mine. Wow, blessed again…..I’m sure when I am more prepared it will happen and if the lord is willing I can say I have felt that feeling 5 times in my life.

Peace,

The Blessed Man

Benevolent

Had to do a little research for today’s word. Still not sure I got it correct. You can be the judge after the fact.

My wife has run a female wine group for many years. The group meets every month and is very loosely pattern off a men’s group I’m in that has been meeting for well over 20 years. Her group is very focused and they are more than likely the most educated women in the city about wine. Now that being said here is the story.

The group was scheduled to go over to one of the member’s houses this month. I was cooking for the group and another person was presenting the wines. Sounds pretty normal until I add this information. The husband of the hostess for last nights tasting; his Father died yesterday. My wife offered to host the event immediately and move everything to our house. But instead they said no lets keep it here and asked her not to tell anyone about the husbands lost. Well we are very close and due to circumstances that do not belong here she told me and swore me to secrecy. We arrived and he was there as the greeter. Making sure all the coats were properly put away and all of the ladies knew exactly where to go for the aperitif champagne. The husband is always helping and trying to make sure that his wife’s events are perfect. He always has the room set just so, and is constantly making sure everyone is entertained and comfortable. Last night, as the meeting started, he, my assistant, and I ended up in the kitchen for a period of time while the presenter ran down the wine line up and other things that they do in their meetings. As I sat there thinking about the state of mind this guy had to be in, he didn’t know I knew about his father as it was to be kept from everyone. He was engaging and pleasant. Sitting there drinking a glass of wine and making small talk with me and my assistant. What a trooper, and giver to forge ahead on a day he lost his father! I remember back the night my Father died I am not to sure I would have been good company for anyone, especially a women’s wine group and all that comes with entertaining them. He went the entire night head held high clear eyed and focused on the women and the event. I hear those of you who might offer the distraction theory; he needed the event to take his mind off his sorrow. I get that but all I have is my on experience to call on and I am not sure I would have wanted the distraction. And there in lies the word, Benevolent. Webster’s definition is 1 a : marked by or disposed to doing good 2 b : organized for the purpose of doing good 2 : marked by or suggestive of goodwill . Seems to fit for me.

Strange thing about this entire story is this is a side of this person I have never encountered, until last night. I think that is why I was so shocked. I guess people react differently to things. I have heard my wife say a million times “Don’t expect me to hold it together if I lose one of my parents” she lost her Father this pasted summer and held it together amazingly well. Seems like when the chips are down and your backs against the wall most of us come to the plate. I was glad to see this side of this guy.

Seems like I always end up on the blessing side of things, even when I am not looking for it. I was very blessed to see this guy give it all up for his wife and my wife’s wine group and never asked to be felt sorry for or anything else. I hope that one day they all find out what happened so they can, like me, appreciate what this guy did not only for his wife, but also for the group as a whole.

Well I hope he and his father were on good terms. Now that I think about it they had to be no one could have made that happen if they were ridden with guilty and remorse.


Once again I was given an opportunity to see humanity at its best. I hope that everyday you look to find the simply things that make us all blessed people.

Well I think I will go cook dinner for the wife and her Mother and make sure they know how grateful I am to have them both in my life. Pinot and Pork chops sounds like just the ticket.

Peace,
The Blessed Man